Blue Moments

My Etsy Store is Officially Opened!

2011-09-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

Head over to Unearthed Roots to check out my latest Post! If you are not subscribed there yet, please do so, as I will not be posting in Blue Moments anymore. Thanks!

Follow me! http://unearthedroots.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-etsy-store-is-officially-opened.html

A Light Box

2011-08-31T12:27:00.000-07:00

As you must know, I am moving...For awhile I will keep redirecting posts to my new blog Unearthed Roots.

Unearthed Roots

2011-08-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

My new blog is UP & RUNNING! Click to head on over there and subscribe to be a Follower!

I would appreciate your feedback: http://unearthedroots.blogspot.com/

Here I go

2011-08-02T13:21:00.001-07:00

Well, I am starting to recognize a little more when my life starts getting too full. I love full! And I love the idea of writing my journal entries on this blog...then writing another blog full of thoughts of gardening, missional community, parenting, lifestyle changes, and craftiness involvement. But that's a LOT of computer time for me, and I think you understand. My posts will now be at my new blog: UnearthedRoots, which is also the name of my new Etsy store, but don't worry- I'm not going to be trying to sell anything to anyone. I promise! I don't even like selling. I might share what I'm doing or working on and get opinions, but that's the extent of it.

I've been designing, crafting, and producing products for years now... and I've been testing them for awhile now too...and they seem to be holding up. SO...I'm going to offer them for sale - and if they do - what a blessing! And if they don't...that's okay too :) I craft because I love it. It's in my blood - just like writing is. I like to share my crafting and my writing with others, which is why I only have time for one blog now. I hope it is a blog that inspires you. If you want to know my thoughts on things, they may be at Unearthed Roots, or you can just call me!

I will also leave BlueMoments up for at least a year to reference certain posts. See you at UnearthedRoots!!!!

Brielle's BlastBall! Picture! Isn't she so cute???

Campwhatchagot!?! Spring 2011

2011-07-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

Like a Child

2011-07-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

Monday morning I had intended to meet a friend at a coffee shoppe to do a Video Shoot of her and her daughter for a project I am working on. Brielle was excited to meet a new friend her age and dress up in princess attire for a tea party. Needless to say, when the plans fell through, her heart broke and her first meltdown incurred - complete with alligator tears and tantrum cries). I tried to comfort her- to no avail. I knew it was upsetting. What she had thought would happen - wasn't going to. Don't we all hate that? It took her some time to process that our plans were changing and adjust to the new plan (which was go to the park for awhile) but she was okay. When we got to the park (at 8am) there was no one else there and she really wanted me to play with her and be her "friend." So, I played "friend." I had to think and act like a little girl to play the part and let me tell you there was a lot of joyful squealing involved. How much fun children have! They RUN to swings and burst with delight at flying through the air. They climb and jump and hold hands and help each other. They ENJOY being together and playing. It's quite amazing actually, something I know that I easily overpass in lieu of resting on a bench and talking. I forget to play.
Brielle taught me how to cross these rope platforms also, which I could not photograph, because it was a lot harder to do than she makes it look!

We enjoyed a snack atop the tower:

Later that morning she saw the situation redeemed as another friend we were filming in the project offered to host a princess tea party. God has a plan...and though I'm sure he taught Brielle something about Life's Interuptions, he really showed me what it feels to be a child again.

Joyful. Giddy. Enthusiastic. Playful. Loving. Kind. Sweet. Free. Innocent. Beautiful.

And eventually...we dropped the truck off at Will's work and took the bus home.

7/14/11

2011-07-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

Today is my first day home - to stay at home all day - in what feels like weeks. Once every couple of weeks my whole family sleeps under one roof. The next day, someone leaves to spend a week with their grandparents in Arkansas. It alternately feels hectic and then lacking. Routine gets boring for me, but I wish now that I had some semblance of it. Is semblance a word? It just came out of nowhere. I try to keep a routine of waking up early and jogging. One day last week I was jogging and just kept going - two miles straight - and I thought, "who am I?" There was a time that waking up that early just seemed so unreasonable...and that my 1.8 mile walk seemed long. Now it still sometimes feels less than desirable to wake up - but when I get out there I love it! The cooler breeze, the birds singing, no traffic, and the best - the rising sun! I pray, for as long as I feel necessary, and then I put my ear buds in and jog. Now that jog is looking more like a run, but it's taking some time. It's a journey, and I've found that carving out these mornings in this way helps me to think, to breathe, to learn something about myself and God. Sometimes it is better than others, but it's always worth it.
Today I am baking bread - Honey Wheat Buns - in the bread machine.
I've also been working on my necklaces. I'm excited that I have an order that I didn't even advertise for. I've been praying a lot -- asking God to show me where it is He wants me to spend my energy the most...and how OR what would I do to give Him the glory most. There are so many friends that I want to spend time with, and so many things I want to do around my house (clean out projects & makeovers) or with my hobbies (writing, crafting, marketing, maybe selling) but I don't know how my time should be most wisely spent.
And that is just my free time...because I'm committed to a few things too. LOL
1) My family, of course
2) Missional Intentional Neighborhood Community (this is just starting off)
3) MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) - as Audio/Visual gal
These wonderful things are already absorbing enough of my time right now.
God, show me how to let go of the things that are less important and raise up the things that are. Help me to recognize that just taking time to play outside with my kids could be the single most important thing I do all day, or giving my husband a shoulder massage, or calling a dear friend...even if we haven't spoken in awhile. Prepare me for each divine occasion of Your choosing- and to greet it with the same zeal and love as that of greeting You each morning as I run into Your glorious artwork that we call the Sunrise.

Where I'm going with this

2011-07-12T08:21:00.001-07:00

I often think of this blog and the ideas that I would love to write in here. I think of all of the empty pages in my journals as well. I think of the books I read, the adventures my family experiences, and the things I learn - I want to share them with you. I think of the adventurous missions that my family connection of believers are about to embark upon - how I'd love to share about that! Priorities, priorities, priorities -- how I have to constantly redefine and organize them into their proper place.
What I am thinking is of working two blogs. I know that sounds insane - to me! since I don't do a great job of keeping this one up. But I may eventually just narrow it down to one blog in the end. I'd like to write for other venues also. But here I can practice, and thank YOU for patiently letting me.
This blog will be more like a reflection on the thoughts that I have about the activities that I am involved in and our daily life around the home front. I am excited about that because it is easy...or at least I think it will be! It may not be the most profound reading that you will participate in - but it will be real and honest.
My other blog will be more information on what I am doing and less about my family and home life. I hope that it works, but if not, that is okay too. I am ALWAYS up for new adventures and trying new things! Here's to blogging!

Back on FB

2011-06-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't cave.
I've been feeling & knowing for awhile now that I could probably reopen my FB account. With limits. Limits. Whew, those are hard. I mean, I just barely opened my account and already wanted to talk to everyone and look at all of their family pictures and post all of mine and........... lah lah lah, oh wow.......... have I been lingering on FB for an hour already? No way, I was only going to spend like 10 minutes. OKay, I cut myself some 'coming back' slack and justified it that long distance family & friends want to see updated pictures of cute & growing kiddos. But after all of this reconnecting is done, then enough! :) lol
12 minutes a day, four days a week. I know me - and my tendencies - and I need boundaries! Thank you God for giving us good and wonderful things - and thank you that while they are not 'off limits' -they never beneficial when over indulging in them.

The Joy of Less = Minimalism

2011-06-16T05:20:00.000-07:00

So, I know I mentioned before that I was reading "the joy of less," which I lost, though thankfully was loaned. ...Because the journey into freeing myself of "stuff" has been -so far- amazing!!!

I made a plan with the plates, bowls, & cups. Their days are numbered. I did keep some of these things. I committed at Goodwill last Wednesday- when I decided to color-code my family's in-home dining experiences. Hmmmm? What does that mean? Well, I had this crazy idea

that each member of our household have ONE cup, ONE bowl, and yes, ONE plate.

Would it work? Well, these photos are now 1 1/2 weeks old and I'm just now getting around to putting them out here, so that allows me to tell you that YES, it does! I have not even needed to use the dishwasher since I did this. Yes, there are times when it's a little inconvenient to wash a bowl or plate or cup - but C'mon! It's not like we have to walk a half mile to the village well to get the water! So---so far so good. If you are a potential future dinner guest - have no fear - I have saved a special set just for you. But I will not be telling anyone else where that is just yet!

Here's to less "stuff" and more freedom.

Why I Like Public Transportation

2011-06-14T14:53:00.000-07:00

There was once a time when I really thought it was a strange idea to take the bus anywhere, especially when you own a car! I don't know if I thought it was beneath me or what, but I'm ashamed. And slowly, I am coming to love all of the benefits of public transportation (and YES, there are many! -well, seven as of right now).

#1 It has not yet lost its appeal to Brielle. Being the social butterfly that she is - she loves the walk outside to the bus and being on the bus with other people - fully able to look out her window at the world around her.

#2 The bus costs $3.00 round trip and $3.50 to ride all day. There is no way I can compete with that in gas prices they way they are now, with my current gas-guzzler (which we have owned for nine years). A trip to anywhere - downtown - or Wilma Rudolph - is $3.50 round trip in the Durango (and considering I have to take him to work and return to pick up if I want the vehicle for the day --- it begins to really add up).

We meet new people every time we ride the bus. And just last week we got on and Brielle's former preschool teacher was riding on the same bus! So, you just never know! Also, last week we met someone on her way to a job interview and was able to encourage her as she was stepping off the bus at the location. We are also getting to know the various bus drivers and most are super-friendly and helpful.

Above: Brielle walking home from the bus dropping us off.

#3 We get outside. We are walking - and paying attention to the weather, our neighborhood, and God. We are aware of Him in that time.

#4 We learn preparation and packing lightly for taking the bus.

#5 We learn patience by waiting for the bus.

#6 We feel a connection to others who are on the bus just as we are, trying to go someplace too.

#7 It goes without saying, but taking the bus is environmentally responsible. The bus is traveling its route anyway and we are all just carpooling together on it.
So, what do you think? Could you do it? Or have you already?

Follow me through pictures

2011-06-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Definetly a Blue Moment below. Elise's Graduation Party! She received her Masters!!!

Brielle, photography:

Civitan Park:

After a hard-working Blastball! practice:

I couldn't wait until daylight was earlier and the kids were out of school so I could start walking/jogging in the mornings again. LOVE meeting the rising sun each morning!

BLASTBALL!

Along with the boys' and Will's help - I'm coaching Brielle's Blastball team. Ha! SEVEN three year-olds! I totally thought I could handle it fine, and God is showing me, "Not in your own strength!" :) Lovely lesson to relearn, of course. The kids are unique little individuals and I love them all. This is a whole new level of patience, however. Go Rockets!

The Flag Guardian and Princess of the Mulch Pile

2011-05-27T05:34:00.000-07:00

Well, we braved it - camping in the rain - and I have to say that we survived! The good news is that not ONE child complained or even noticed that the weather was drab - even saying things such as (and I quote) "This is a great place to go camp!" (I'm not sure any adult agreed on that one) and "This weather? What? It's called camping people!" (another actual quote from a second source). The great thing I think we all agreed on was that it was fun to be out there together - far enough removed from our everyday - and to play games like kickball & volleyball. A little competition didn't hurt us (well.........actually, no - never mind).
Behold: The Flag Guardian and Princess of the Mulch Pile

When we returned the boys finished up their last week of the school year. So fast! I know summer is going to fly by too - and I just can't say how excited I am to spend it with them! I feel as if the days, weeks, months, & years are now fleeting - like we are on some kind of downward slope to them flying the nest. Well, probably because it's true. I want to enjoy this summer with my three children still hanging out (in and around) our family nest. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed and frustrated with the chaos, the reminders, the clean ups - that I forget that this is supposed to be enjoyable! This is our family time - a fleeting time - that I hope we all recall with great thoughts,memories, and an overwhelming nostalgia of happiness.
God, help me to remember this throughout each and every day of this summer. Help me to recognize oppurtunities to teach and guide my children and give me the tools and wisdom for each specific moment. I know each child you have given us is uniquely designed by You. Help us to let each be themselves, to encourage them, and to provide them a place where they feel comfortable and can grow.

Handmade Portraits: Greg Beauchamp

2011-05-16T06:24:00.001-07:00

Random acts of God, most likely, led me to this video this morning. I hope you find it as inspiring as I did.

Handmade Portraits: Greg Beauchamp a.k.a. Beauchamping from Etsy on Vimeo.

Our first Carnival Cruise!

2011-05-03T06:18:00.000-07:00

Well, we are off the boat, but that doesn't seem to cure the sense of rocking that won't go away! I hope I stop trying to balance out soon enough because it's weird to feel like you are rocking on a ship - when you aren't. It was weird enough on the ship! lol

The ship was pretty much what I expected it to be: rocky, crowded, and loud. And a few things I didn't expect: tasty food, cleanliness, and helpful workers everywhere.
*Please note that this the ship and the excursion adventures were free to us, so I'm looking at the whole thing through that lens. Will's employer's monitoring station SentryNet offered a promotion that involved earning points to take this cruise, so that is how it came to be.

Every evening the cruisers aboard would scurry back to their cabins around 5p or 6p to get dressed up and make their way to fine dining (which I could only affirm the coffee on - after our first night dining there in casual attire). We never returned, partly because we weren't ever really that hungry, and partly because (as you see above) this was the time to be relaxing on the deck in peace and quiet watching the sunset! I seriously felt like we (and a few others) were privy to some special knowledge that a salad and sunset in our regular clothes on the deck outside was a far better way to spend the evening than the fine dining on the other end of the ship. But some people liked it the other way, and I was grateful for that too, because it gave us more space to b r e a t h e! :)

If you know me and my love for the ocean, you know I was LOVING this! If I had one word tattooed on my mind it was "E S C A P E." No cell phone. No email. No chores. No other people to have to tend to. Just me. It was crazy! I just had to think about me (and occasionally Will). After 15 years of being a mom, this was the first time I'd ever experienced this (in this way). Will can testify that I didn't worry about our kids at all (likely because I knew they were in my mom's capable care!). I just relaxed and escaped for a few days. Thank you big boat sailing far away. Thank you God!!!!

Will didn't really like going to the high parts of the ship or near the edge anywhere, but I loved those places. At night there were certain places that I could see the stars perfectly. It felt so close to the Creator of it all. I often wondered why He chose to create so much water! I just wanted to dive into it! (not in the way that would end my life)

The Carnival Elation: when it ported in Cozumel, Mexico

Shore Excursion below: Playa Maya Beach Break Deluxe, where we did actually get to swim in the ocean - it was beautiful. There were fish and it was clear and refreshing!

On the last day of our cruise while we waited for disembarkation:

I am still swaying as I try to recall the feelings and thoughts I had while aboard. What I most loved about it was the "no technology" thing. Being connected, of course, has its many benefits. But getting away (with no signals) and forced to be disconnected, was something I hadn't expected to be such a blessing.

I got up one morning to run on the treadmill in the gym (which has windows looking out over the ocean) and then another morning to walk on the outdoor track (which is on the highest deck) and literally thought, "God, this is beautiful! Thank You for creating all of this and giving me an opportunity to soak it in!"

I did have to work hard to keep my balance, and I did fall off the treadmill. I had wondered why so many people were holding on while running! But the joy of being able to do things I wanted to do and put music in my ears that reminded me of the gifts of God, far exceeded the rocking feeling that I am unsure will disappear. hahaha When asked if I would do it again? For free...Yes! :) I might pay for one too, the jury is still out on that one though. I'm just thankful we got to go!

on facebook and minimalism

2011-04-05T06:38:00.000-07:00

Currently I am reading two books simultaneously. Okay, well honestly it's more like ten books that I'm reading simultaneously. I don't usually do this with fiction books, but I've been on a fiction hiatus for awhile now, so I'm only reading non-fiction. Back to the two books that are similar. One was written/compiled over 40 years by a Mennonite woman who died of cancer at a very young age. I found it at Goodwill an it is entitled, "Living More with Less." by Doris Janzen Longacre. It is out of print and it looks like there are two copies left on Amazon.com. However, if you'd like to borrow it, I can lend it to you. It is AMAZING how her thoughts and many peoples' contributed suggestions, experiences, and ideas are relative today! She was truly pioneering a movement that may have caught on, but as far as I know sat dormant for 40 years (in our consumeristic society) and now seems to be relevant again! Or maybe it's just me? Regardless, there is another book currently released entitled The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide: How to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify Your Life by Francine Jay. I found it on one of my favorite blogs: Walk Slowly, Live Wildly. So far, it's great! However, I haven't started putting anything into "practice" yet. LOL! I'll let you know then. So, that blog referred to other minimalist living blogs. I didn't want to chase rabbit trails, but I did discover a post within the Miss Minimalist blog that resonated with me as I've been thinking about reopening a Facebook account. You see....as time as gone on over the past four to five months I have lost my resolve about why I closed the account in the first place and I am feeling fully justified in reopening my FB account, not because I feel that disconnected with my friends, but because I have been wondering if they fee disconnected with me? But the truth is that REAL connection takes EFFORT. FB is easy, that's why we all love it. We can send a quick, "how are you?" and wahlah, we are done. Yes, it came from the heart, we truly wanted to know, etc... But in my own non-FB experience I have not really made as many efforts to CALL someone to see how they are, or send them a card in the (gasp) mail. I haven't slowed my life to involve others like I thought I would, or made the conscience effort. So, it is easy for me to say that the NO FB thing failed and I'm just going to jump back onto the social cyber-wagon. Until I ran across this post today: http://www.bemorewithless.com/2011/farewell-facebook/ And it really reminded me of why I made the choice I did. Instead of giving up, I know that instead I need to make more intentional efforts. I'm not against Internet socialization. In fact, I was experiencing the benefits of it long before Facebook and Sparkpeople. I learned about non-punitive discipline back in 2001 on an AOL Debate Forum. I lost 27lbs with the help of an online Support group in 2002. There is help and information all over the cyber world. However, the way things currently are at an INSTANT pace, I'm not sure the point isn't flying right over my head. I mean, who really wants to look at pictures from last month. That is so old news. And that's fine. But it takes energy and time to keep up.

And seeing as how I'm learning about this whole minimalist living thing....maybe too much clutter physically and mentally can truly be hazardous to a free life? I'm curious.

What are your thoughts?

Zipline if you ever get the chance

2011-04-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

There is a video of me zip lining, but until I can edit 1/2 of it I will have to hold off on posting it. So, below you see my friend Tiff soaring through the air. It was a first time for zip lining for many of us (not Tiff) and I would highly recommend it.

While our house church network is currently planning a Missional Community, we were able to Retreat for the weekend in order to focus, prepare, and discuss what this missional community will look like.

My whole family went for the day and it was truly a blessing for us all. The boys and I loved the Zip line. Will enjoyed fishing. Brielle, well she just enjoyed being among it all - her very favorite place to be - with other people - especially outdoors. Come to think of it, she is a great example of someone being "on mission." When I tried to lay down with her for her nap out there (outside on the deck) she said, "let's pray." (note: I do not pray with her regularly at rest times) She just surprises me. I think she wore Will out half way through the morning.

Three foot, thirty pounds, three years old. And full of passion.

Spring is coming

2011-03-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

Brielle's hair is getting longer. I have always said (for 13 years) that I was fortunate not to have to "do" a girl's hair! Nevermind me, SHE was fortunate. Then, I began practicing when Brielle's hair required it, and well, it actually became fun. The thing I thought I'd hate to do.
She's jumped on the cereal wagon, just like her male examples in our home. She has to use soymilk (or her skin breaks out) but she's not "allergic" to dairy.
Today is first day of Spring (I think). It's a perfect first day. It is 78 outside, the windows are open and the breeze is flowing through our house. Brielle enjoyed jumping on the trampoline this afternoon with her neighbor friend. She loves life and people so much. She enjoys watching Caillou off of Netflix. At the end of some of the episodes Caillou says that when he grows up he wants to be just like Daddy or Mommy. So Brielle has picked up on saying that too and I return the compliment by saying, "when I grow up I want to be just like Brielle." And I do mean that in a way. Of course I want the wisdom that can only be gained by time and going through the many learning experiences I've had...I want to have that growth. But at the same time I want to receive life and the kingdom of God like a child. She LOVES life and people. She finds joy in bubbles, sunshine, family, friends (everyone is a friend - but she sure has begun to treasure those she has seen more often), going some place, being close to her Mommy, Daddy, brothers...
The Little Children and Jesus
13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
She finds joy in things that are not material and she never worries about her needs being met. How can I watch her and not want to be at least like that about her? Ahhh...sweet love.
Josh and Tyler spend most nice hours of the day outdoors playing basketball. I hear Josh now has his iPod connected to speakers out there now and they are listening to that while they play. His friend from school is over now too. Earlier they were in the kitchen reviewing the Drivers' Permit information across the table. His friend goes for the test tomorrow. Josh has definitely asked about his. I savor this. It is a great joy of my life to watch him become his own guy.
Tyler, ever perceptive, is always learning and sharing his knowledge and information with me. I let him educate me (mostly), even if the subject is less than interesting (to me). I like watching the way he contemplates situations and his surroundings. He is very thoughtful and likes to shares his opinions. He offers many suggestions and calls me out on things occasionally, and I try to take it in stride, but ya know....I have to make sure it isn't saturated in bad attitude. Ah, but we all have attitude from time to time. Tyler is the "keeper of Fair." I like when he notices my inconsistencies and brings them to my attention (in the long run). Ha!
We've been softball practicing. It's nice outside and I love it. The dogwoods are blooming like big puffs of snow balls, and on bike rides I can take in their splendor a little more slowly. But I'm puffing harder with that trailer on the back that Brielle rides in. That's fine though, I need the exercise, and we need this economical way to get to the store. Yesterday, we all took a bike ride to the store. Yes, that is Will included. It was quite enjoyable. The trees in my backyard have not yet budded. That is like me. Just waiting. Being patient. Spring sometimes comes slowly, but doesn't mean that it isn't still pleasant to watch coming.

This Blog

2011-03-21T07:26:00.001-07:00

So, I've been praying and thinking about this blog a lot. I've been wondering what it is supposed to be. I don't really know, but I keep thinking that most practically it would be great if it were somewhat of a Keepsake Blog. Like, if it could be made into a memory book, it would make a great keepsake for my kids or grandkids one day (or generations to come). So, with that in mind, that is what I'm going to attempt.........I'm not quite sure that is how it is going to look, but I like the idea of recording life somehow.

If Google ever goes down.....hmmmm.....maybe I should not give up scrapbooking! :)

Tyler's Birthday

2011-03-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

Tyler actually got to experience a little of 2 mini birthdays! On his actual birthday he and I went to Dunkin Donuts for an after-school treat, then to GameStop. For dinner, his dad took him to his choice: Captain D's. :) Then, Friday (two days later) we picked up Tyler's cousins and headed to JumpZone where, fortunately, they didn't trample over all of the little guys there. They had a blast as you can see below:

Josh's Birthday Pictures

2011-02-25T12:20:00.000-08:00

Our neigbors (Kaitlyn & Christina) baked Josh a giant cookie and brought it over. So nice!!!

I found this great blog with this great recipe for (Not) Fried Ice Cream below. It was HUGE hit!

He made a wish, but we don't know what it was. :)

Happy Birthday Josh!!!

We spent the evening at the APSU basketball game. I think Josh really enjoyed himself!

Happy Birthday Josh!!!

2011-02-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

15 years ago on this day Joshua Aaron Jimenez was born into this world. He arrived a full week past his "due date" and after 2 days of labor (the first day was barely recognizable). Around 3am on February 24th, 1996, I woke Will up and my mom was there too, and we all went to Blanchfield Army Community Hospital on Ft. Campbell, KY and there we waited for a "labor" room. We got one around 9am? and while I lay there on my back in labor all day ( what did I know then?) I cried and threw up and waited for something to happen to relieve the agony I was in. I pleaded for a c-section. Will vowed we'd never do this again. Then, around 6pm they wheeled me into the "delivery room" and at 6:13pm Joshua was born. And he was beautiful.

Turned out that Joshua was an easy baby and laid back and relaxed. He continues to be that way even now. He is laid back, easy going, and all-around a great guy (except don't ask his brother).

Seeing him grow (in height - he is is now 5'11") and into the man he is becoming is nothing less than a miracle before our eyes.

Raising a first child is so incredibly challenging, who knows what is right or what will help or hurt? Do we go with our instinct? Do we push or let go? Do we guide and instruct or let the processes occur naturally? We know it is a little of everything, but we don't trust ourselves.

So today I am praying:
God, take this child, this boy, this man that you have given us and grow Your Spirit within him. Help us to enjoy every moment of his wonderful character and show us when to guide him through the tough times of life's opposition. Help us to prepare him for what You have in store for him. May he always feel safe and secure in You and may he feel comfortable coming to us for any help he might need in navigating through his life. Help us to point him to You. Surround him with people who are of good character, full of integrity and wisdom, and who love You too. May he always continue to have a heart for those who are outcast or opressed, and may he act on it, instead of acting against it. Give him guidance for life God, so that he does not have to worry about what the future holds for him. Teach him discipline and contentment and virtue.
Thank you God for the past fifteen years with Josh.
Thank you just for Josh.
And thank You for every day of our future with Josh as we go together into many upcoming seasons that are unknown to us. Thank You for going before us and coming with us.

We finally did what I said we'd do: Riding the City Bus

2011-02-11T10:19:00.000-08:00

For weeks now we have been "in action" a one-car family. We still own the Mustang; however, we aren't driving it in efforts to save money and miles on it. I always tell myself (and Will) that if we really wanted to get out and go somewhere that we could walk there or take the bus. Well, with 4 1/2 days off of school this week alone, temperatures hovering in the teens, and some restless kids who had been out to play in the snow & cold quite enough to satisfy us all, I finally just decided to do it. We didn't have to, but I couldn't see a great reason why not to. I likened it to bike riding with the boys when they were younger. I rode with them, taught them the rules of the road, and offered instructions that I hoped they would continue to "hear" when they would be riding to school or to the store. Those bike rides, I know now, were very important. They both went on to ride their bikes back and forth to middle school (a mile away and across a somewhat busy road) and to stores that are within that mile to 2 1/2 mile radius of our home. They still do. Not without incident, of course, but hopefully much more cautiously than without ever receiving some sort of guidance.
Same with the bus. There may be a day they need to take it to get from here to there. I can ride it with them now so they can experience how the system works.
It took a little more planning than just hopping in the car and going. But as I was preparing, I was getting excited! And nervous! Adventure! I hadn't felt like this in quite awhile. I felt so silly. People ride buses every single day and not because they want to necessarily! Well, want to or not, it was actually the only way for us to get to the library yesterday afternoon.
The bus came on time and I deposited the $3.75 for us to ride (found out later that I should have just paid $4.50 that would include the transfer at the Transit Station) into the automated money machine. We all sat and off we went. Brielle loved it. She was entertained the entire time. The boys showed no emotion, they just sat there looking cool and composed, as if they rode the bus all of the time.
I allowed Brielle to turn around on her knees and look out the window. I think the bus made her a little nervous because after going a little way she explained, "I just tooted." I asked her to not say that so loud, please. She said quieter, "I just tooted again." Ahhhh..... At least no one was sitting that close to us. When she wanted to change seats I told her not until we get on the next bus, knowing that what I allowed on that first trip would set the standard for trips to come.
It took 20 minutes to get downtown to the bus depot. It felt more like 10. We changed buses at the depot (where I had to pay my extra .75 cents and get my transfer tickets - oops) and it was very simple. Then, we rode around for 20 minutes before we went to the Library, which was extremely exciting for me because I saw new places in Clarksville that I've never seen before! How could that be? We've lived here for 15+ years and I never knew about this super huge cemetery somewhere downtown. It was a more interesting trip for me that the first bus. Oh! I did see two different residences (one house and one apartment) that were in two totally different areas (one on each bus) and decided that the women in them should definitely meet. I say this because they both harbored an extreme excessive collection of planter pots. Not a joke, they had at least 50 planter pots in each of their yards!! I've never seen anything like it and definitely not in one day!
The Library was good. Saw one of our close friends in there, found some books, let Brielle play, and waited for Will to get off of work to come pick us up. He got there after we'd been in the library for a couple of hours. It worked out well.
Not only am I glad we did it, but I look forward to riding the bus again. It's at least good to know that it's there if we need to go somewhere beyond our 2 1/2 mile radius on foot or small wheel.

Josh's First Military Ball

2011-02-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

JROTC: The Junior Reserve Officers' Training Corps (JROTC) is a Federal program sponsored by the United States Armed Forces in high schools across the United States. The program was originally created as part of the National Defense Act of 1916 and later expanded under the 1964 ROTC Vitalization Act. (from Wikipedia)

Josh and Albrey went as friends and had a great time

Albrey, Josh, Dakota, & Kaitlyn

Getting cold and Keeping warm

2011-02-10T05:48:00.000-08:00

I took this pictures yesterday afternoon from the comfort of my warm and cozy home:

The day before--Tuesday 2/8/11:

snowy streets

extreme snow playing:

to "Beat the Freeze" we headed to our local community center for some basketball and ping pong play:

Last week when we got the truck for the day:

There was a serious Melt Down:

Fun Times with our friend Natalie over to play:

On a less cold day:

Making Music together:

Overflowing or Trickling or Dry

2011-02-01T06:27:00.000-08:00

For about 6 weeks now I've been in the strangest place in my mind/heart/soul. I have never really been here before, so it is foreign. Not exciting, but unknown in the expecting kind of way, nevertheless. I've realized that most of my adult life (I say "most") I've had an overflowing of extra "stuff" to give. There have certainly been seasons where this was not apparent, but that is why I said "most." Now, by "stuff" I mean kindness, friendship, food, material goods, whatever. I've often felt compelled to listen, help, offer, and even to start something for others. I like adventure and seeing what could happen. Now, lately, I've realized that I can't try everything I want to do, but that is another story.
Back to the overflowing...
obviously I'm not there right now. That is the strangest. It feels so strange to just be going along with life, asking God, what am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing? When all I hear is, "this." I don't like the answer, but I know I'm not feeling up for much else. And considering that most of the things in my life that I have gotten into have been (or are being) scaled back for a season, I feel very uncertain, when I feel up to caring about it. But I know that while I am in this unusual place I am very more aware of life than I've been in years. It was like I was drifting into this coma of other things that were good in some ways, but were causing me to MISS so much of my life. My real life. The life I was created for. Now, I sound like some kind of book...
Take Facebook for example. I miss it a lot! Especially because I think all of the time about events I'd like to share with others and questions I'd like to ask! I think, "if I were on FB...then I could do so much more." But it was just one more thing in the midst of other things that were keeping me from my life. It's tough! I want to justify FB right after typing that.
Back to my point (again). During this season of life, I've been hugely appreciative of those people who are overflowing right now. Even if they are just trickling...it's like oil on my head (if we were in biblical times). A kind word, a note, a call, an email, even a smile. Anything. It means so much. Then, I started thinking about being "compelled." Sometimes, we can feel compelled to pray for someone, to reach out to them, to befriend them, or even just do something kind for them. I can see right now why someone would want to resist that urge toward someone in my place right now. It may not be much fun and I may not show how much I appreciate it. And...I may even decline or avoid it. This helps me when thinking about when I will one day have more to give---If I feel compelled toward someone---and I have anything to give at all--just try. If they resist, it doesn't have to be pushy or awkward. But if they come around and come out of it (even for a moment), be a friend. It really takes so little effort to let someone know you care. Sometimes, we think it's going to be this whole big ordeal of being sucked into someone else's problems, when we know we've already got too many of our own. But we are all in different places in different seasons for purposes that flow in God's natural design. And if you are in a place ever, that is slightly like what you are hearing me describe that I'm in, don't expect certain people you think should care and reach out to you to do so. Trust that God alone is all you need.
Then wait and see all of the ways (the most creative ways) that He chooses to bless us by showing His love to us. It may be through people we would never expect. Smiles from strangers, or from people we have only known a little while, or something such as sunshine, or unusual peace at very clear timing. We learn to appreciate it and soak it up, even more than usual.
Because a blooming flower looks more radiant and beautiful when your a sea of gray.
I praise God that He is the perfect Lighthouse when I'm loosing my sense of direction here.

SNOWDAYS

2011-02-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

Brielle meet Snowguy:

The little snowguy on his head was Tyler's creation

Tyler & neighbors started the base of this snow guy, but it was ultimately our neighbor, Cedrianna, and I that put in the most time.

The next day (Friday) the snow was melting and pretty packed, but Will brought us the family vehicle back home, so we headed to our favorite sledding hill just in time. (Can't even express how appreciative we were of this little adventure!!!)

On only using one vehicle:

2011-01-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

Last week Brielle asked if we were going anywhere. I said nope-- we are stuck at home!

She quickly replied, "but there are TWO doors here!"

I pondered that for a moment, because it seemed very worth thinking about.

What's been going on with me

2011-01-24T06:08:00.000-08:00

I've sort of been gone, in a way, it seems. I've struggled with what to say about that, how much to say, and even if I should. Then I think about it, and there's just too much, too many thoughts going through my mind. And I'm tired. I'm tired of saying I'm tired. It seems like every time I turn around (or wake up throughout the night) someone is sick, coughing, flu, fever. That's just recently. Two weeks ago it was a stomach bug. Then there are snow days, which are fine, except they throw loops into our week that are unexpected rhythms. It's hard for me to find my ground, where I am, what I'm doing. Then, I have those hundreds of thoughts.....and I'm not sure how much sense they make when I'm running on E for lack of sleep. And this sounds like on big complaint, which is not exactly what I meant to do. But it's hard to be honest and real and pleasant all together for me right now. So, maybe I should talk about what God is doing.
I would, only I don't quite know much. The only thing I am sure of is that He is doing something and it probably involves some pruning in my life. It is possible that He is removing some things that aren't a part of His plan for me, and it is painful! Maybe I'm not so great with submitting or adjusting or both, but it is hard to see the good in somethings that seems so hard. I've realized that I've been holding on to things that were both good and bad; neverthless, change is difficult too. I've thought recently about my life being this frozen-over garden in winter, being weeded, pruned, and prepared for Spring. Thing is, not only is it extremely cold and uncomfortable, I also can't see Spring! In fact, I have a hard time even believing that it is going to come!!! I know that now is not the time to give up, and that I just have to keep seeking, seeking, seeking God in all of this, despite my humanly desire to escape. I have hope. It just seems so small sometimes...most of time, if I'm being honest.
Despite the reality that I've been (or at least felt) out of real-life/in-person connection with others, I have still felt surrounded and uplifted by family in Jesus. Maybe it is because I am no longer on Facebook, the Internet (as much) or my cell phone (as much) that even the smallest encounters or interactions with someone else can be the most blessed occasion. Anything from a smile, to a conversation, to a quick email can mean the most to me. In fact, I feel so blessed by God and the wonderful people in my life that sometimes I start to think that some things were set up just for me, to support & encourage me. I feel so not humble saying that! But the truth is, that I do say it in all humility. I don't feel I deserve all of the goodness that God brings me in my life. I know I don't. So when He does it anyway I have to think, "He must love me." I know He does, but I just see the treasures differently than before. I don't know if that is the whole point of this, or just blessings along the way of the journey. But it matters not. I can't see much of anything this cold winter season, where I feel stuck and tired and waiting, but I know I'm not alone and I do believe (by faith) that Spring will come. God, in His infinite wisdom, knows what He is doing and He alone knows the path I'm supposed to be on. He longs to give me the desires of my heart. I'm often confused about what this means in the day to day, but I know He will do great things for His glory for all of His children, and I know He wants great things for my family, for everyone that I know, and for this entire world that He created. I know I say these things are true for me (as I'm learning them) but I also know they are true for you too wherever you are at in your own spiritual garden or journey.

2011-01-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

Psalm 42

1 As the deer longs for streams of water,
so I long for you, O God.
2 I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before him?
3 Day and night I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
“Where is this God of yours?”
4 My heart is breaking
as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
amid the sound of a great celebration!

5 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and 6 my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged,
but I will remember you—
even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,
from the land of Mount Mizar.
7 I hear the tumult of the raging seas
as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
8 But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,
and through each night I sing his songs,
praying to God who gives me life.

9 “O God my rock,” I cry,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
oppressed by my enemies?”
10 Their taunts break my bones.
They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

11 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and my God!

Picture Recaps

2011-01-11T07:42:00.001-08:00

Loves the snow (December picture before Christmas)

Christmas morning at our house:

We made them take a picture before we opened gifts:

Visiting Arkansas, it was unseasonally warm:

Just yesterday (SNOW DAY!) Brielle came to me wearing these sandals (that our friend had just recently given her the day prior) and said, "I'm ready to go out in the snow!"

Only God

2011-01-10T12:07:00.000-08:00

Because I am making an attempt this year to attend any invites that include Brielle (since I am no longer taking her to church preschool) we went to a birthday party yesterday afternoon, knowing that it would cut into my baking time for our house church's once-a-month Network Gathering (where both groups meet together). We left the party a little early, but the monkey bread still took twice as long to bake than it should have. This made us really late. Fortunately, I knew that no one there would condemn or judge us. However, I can't stand to walk in or interrupt something, and I knew we would be doing that. I could hear music playing as the four of us filed down the long driveway in the back of the house through the dark cold. The house lights shown like a beacon of warmth and family.
We tried to sneak in (impossible) and I could see that everyone had papers with lyrics as they were listening to a song. We set down our food and walked around to stand in the back. Brielle and I stood in the hallway where we removed our coats and I fixed her hair, trying to listen to the words of the song. I kept hearing "Yahweh" and "Take this...." Then, the strangest thing happened...I just felt so deeply moved. I'm not even sure how, feeling liked I'd missed what should have been the structure for any kind of deeply moving experience. But there I was-- late-- in the hallway-- and only able to hear 1/3 of the end of a song.
And I was so deeply touched.
Only God.

a song and a thought

2011-01-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard a song and thought it sounded good, but it really didn't resonate with your life right then, or touch you deeply? Then you heard it again and thought, "wow."
That's what happened with "Savior, please" by Josh Wilson.
Here are the lyrics:
Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me
Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have
Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

My unrelated thought: I read something recently that said, "don't compare yourself to others." I really, truly did not think I did this. But as I began really taking inventory of the thoughts that run through my head there they were! How unnecessary for those thoughts to exist in my mind. I am me, not anyone else. I answer to God, not everyone else. I've always cared what other people have thought, and while in some ways that is fine, it can't be the core of how I perceive myself. This sounds obvious, I know. I know this over and over and inside out and upside down, but I don't. I am going to let people down and not live up to their expectations of me...it is so inevitable. Then I get to see once again that my eyes aren't fixed on God, His Grace, His Glory, how He sees me, how He sees others in my life.
We live in a fallen world that is not going to be exempt from pain and mistreating. Getting tangled up in it all becomes the problem. If we are in Christ we have this treasure, and I'm sure this is one of the many things God is teaching me and creating new in me. I pray that through this fire the impurities are removed and burned and what is left is something to start with.

Some random things:

2011-01-02T07:13:00.000-08:00

1) About a week and a half ago I stopped by the bathroom mirror and noticed a dusting on the top of my head. I couldn't fathom what I'd gotten into. A closer look revealed that gray hairs were attacking in full force.
2) Enlisting my brother's girlfriend's help, we tried to attack back, but it was a feeble attempt, although fortunately she did have a clue as to what we were doing, and it came out much better than if I had tried solo.
3) I probably saved $70 by cutting (4 inches) my hair myself and her coloring it for me ($2) nevertheless.
4) I spent last week in Arkansas. Overall, it was a good trip.
5) New Years Resolutions? Not really, but here are a few things that come to my mind that I have been wanting to focus on:
--attempt to attend every birthday party/shower/party that we are invited to and able to attend
--check in every other day or so with an online fitness website such as SparkPeople.com (I know from experience this can be an incredible help) and post physical activity
--homemaking
There are a lot more things I am thinking about, of course. But I don't think it wise to overwhelm myself. I'm not really resolving to do the above things either. I'm just considering focusing on them and it sort of helps to type them out.
6) New Providence Indoor Aquatic Center opens this coming Saturday, January 8th.

These past few weeks have been quite challenging for me, but I feel I am being led through it. These verses comes to my mind: In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.
-and-
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

Happy New Year. May your 2011 be immensely blessed.

2010-12-23T06:42:00.000-08:00

I had planned to send out a beautiful Holiday greeting. Cheerful. Pictures. Joyous. Wishing you, my one reader of this blog, a wonderful holiday season.

But I can't. I'm sorry.

The truth is that in the past (most of my past) when I am ever in a place such as this, I would hide. I would avoid. I would not answer my phone. I would not say yes to anything and I would cancel all that I'd planned.

Because no one should want to be with me or near me while I am in this not so pleasant place to be in. No one would want to be near this.

But I'm not so strong as I have always thought myself to be.

I think I'm on the mend. But I cannot move a step forward without holding firmly to the One I love, who knows the place I'm in, who only understands where I've been. But sometimes I'm too weak even to hold on. So, I'm asking you to pray that He will show me again and again that He is strong enough and will hold me.

Thank you and God bless.

Enjoying this nesting season?

2010-12-15T08:43:00.000-08:00

That's what I keep telling myself anyway! Ha! We have been home, without our vehicle for the third day in a row now, due to the weather! How did my mom ever do it? Hehehe. She didn't even have the Internet back then, or a phone that was unattached to the wall.

It is a good season though. A season of a little pruning and refocusing and rethinking. A season where TRUE interaction with others becomes a lot more valued than I realized it hadn't been being. Is that a real sentence? Hmmm....

Here are some photos of our lives:

Photo Below was taken on our ROOF.

Give Grace

2010-12-13T20:03:00.000-08:00

There are lots of things you can give people this time of year. Presents of all kinds, from all over the world, wrapped in cute paper, bags, with ribbons & bows. Handmade. Store bought. Online ordered. You name it, you can probably give that special gift to the person(s) you love.
I've already said how I feel about this whole shopping extravaganza thing. I'm not going to deny picking up some well-thought out deals or making special gifts for those in my life.
But what I've been noticing lately is that in my life, my everyday life, I make a lot of mistakes. Errors. Wrong turns. And what I'd like more than anything is just a little grace extended to me. Like a gift. Just a little grace gift.
Then I begin to notice all of the people around me. They make some mistakes too. I err on the side of my own frustration, yet know that they too, would like a little grace.
Everyone needs grace. When you have been given grace, it becomes easier and more understandable to give it. We have all been given grace, because while we were still sinners Christ died for us. That is LOVE. Born into this world a precious holy child, that child became a man who taught us how to live, and how to extend grace to one another. He healed. He fed. He showed. He gave. He did a million things more. And every day He still does.
If we were all to just give a little grace to each other this month, when the oppurtunity arises, then we begin to live more. We share. We grow. We show that we believe.
Give the gift of grace. Even in the small things. It's what I desire to give and what I would love more than anything to receive. And I feel confident saying that God desires it too.
So, what does it look like? Well, from the lyrics of 33 Miles:
It's a little bit of hope and sweet redemption
Maybe taking time to stop and listen
Just being there show someone that you care
It's living a life with your hands wide open
Giving all you got to a heart that is broken
For heaven's sake whatever it takes
If you wanna know what grace looks like
Let love open up your eyes
It's not that far away
You might be amazed

2010-12-02T06:48:00.000-08:00

When You Are Six... from freeplaylife on Vimeo.

Shadee

2010-11-30T15:30:00.000-08:00

She was a good dog. Everyone said so. She was a great protector and faithful friend. She lived for 10 years and 4 months. The pictures below are when she first came to us, when we lived in our rental on Fountainbleau, her first home. She had the chronic disease, mange. She lived out her last five months of life in "retirement" at Bill & Sharon's. She loved us all. We all loved her. We know she is in dog heaven, and living out a wonderful eternity. We will anticipate meeting her again there.

Black Gold Documentary

2010-11-30T14:52:00.000-08:00

Just finished watching this very thought-provoking movie:

Happy 3rd Birthday Brielle!

2010-11-28T11:33:00.000-08:00

It is so strange to think that three years ago Brielle came into our lives, in the most amazing way, and changed us forever.

This year, as she turns three we find her being sweet, sincere, witty, smart, amazing, beautiful, kind, generous, insistent, determined, and very vocal. She currently loves people, music, and creating art. She is tons of other wonderful things and loves tons of other things as well. But these are the ones that are in the top of my head.

We love her so much and celebrate her on this Special Day.

To read about her Birth as written in the Clarksville Family Magazine Click Here and scroll to page 14.

Happy Birthday Brielle!

Sharing Loss with practical strangers

2010-11-23T11:57:00.000-08:00

I have sad news. Recently, the Director of the Preschool where Brielle attends twice a week, lost her husband. I didn't see her for a week there and I have been praying for her family (she has three boys still at home, I believe) occasionally. She was there Monday when I went to drop off Brielle. Her teachers suggested I talk to her and tell her the news that Brielle's last month would be this one, November, which I had told them a week ago. They said they already told her, but that I should also. I thought that was strange, probably because selfishly I didn't want to have to talk to someone who was grieving so deeply. But I glanced around for her on my way out and happened to see her talking to the Donald in the kitchen. Instinctively, I first hugged her. Now, I don't really know her, so that caught me by surprise that I would do that. Then we talked about Brielle and as I went to leave I just rubbed her arm and she reached out to hug me again.
I walked out, quickly.
Tears began welling in my eyes.
Before I was out the door they were falling and as I began driving I was fully bawling.
And all I could think was, "I don't even know her."
And I don't. I really don't.
I kept crying for a good ten minutes. The pain was so intense and I couldn't hardly understand why I was feeling it. But in a way, I did know.
God moves through His people.
Sometimes it is not like we expect.
Sometimes it is to take the tears that we are just too tired to cry anymore. To take the pain that we are just too week to feel anymore. To share it with another, who isn't deep in the confusion. Sharing in Christ's sufferings. Sometimes that can take on a whole new meaning.
I hope she knows it wasn't a seemingly thoughtless act, that hug.
I hope she knows that the Holy Spirit is taking care of her. I hope she feels her burden lifted some, by each and every act of grace that He gives. It amazes me how He loves us.

Tis the Season for whaaaaat?

2010-11-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

Every year I get a little better or worse for the holiday shopping season. Better as in: I get better at snagging deals. Worse as in: I snag deals. How can they both be good and bad? .........I don't know. It's like all of these sale ads float around in my head and I start to get dizzy and missional. My world starts spinning and I start thinking, "where do I want to go?" "who am I getting gifts for?" "what would they really like?" The last question is the biggest one. I'm so tired of buying plastic for my children (and others) that is going to just get broken or discarded due to lack of interest one day! No, I'm beyond tired of it, I'm fed up with it! Not at the kids, of course, innocence victims of my thriftiness and the industries' pushiness that they are. I'm mad at me, the consumer. Am I buying anything they really need or care about (for more than a week - if that)? And if I get such a good "deal" on it, will it really last any length of time? But then, I argue with myself, what? Don't get them anything? Only one gift? Three? Like Jesus when he was born? And every family is different and has different incomes, ideals, and traditions. I've read ideas that you can take a trip, do something special with your family that they will remember, instead of giving more presents. Sounds great, but I'm not sure how we transition into that.

So, for now, I'm just going to pray that I will make wise choices. Frugal ones that even if they are a rocking good deal that I wouldn't buy in haste (especially if we can't afford it), but that God's Holy Spirit would show me how to spend wisely, and how to let go of any worldly pressure to consume. I know that might sound a little strange, but I can't do it by myself! I wish I were just blase about it all, like some people I know. But I struggle. I like good deals and I like to use them to bless others, even if it is a birthday 8 months from now.

I hope that God, in all His wisdom and because He can, will show me and my whole family a deeper meaning of the value of this holiday season. There is a greater gift to behold than the craziness I sometimes cannot see past and I want to just relax and receive it, selfish as that may sound to me. I hope that is also the gift that I am most able to give. And I pray that we all just ENJOY the people in our lives, who they are, and our time with them. Even if, no---especially if---, we see them everyday. God bless the Holidays.

The mess we made

2010-11-19T12:50:00.000-08:00

Today was super Friday. I named it that just now. It's the once a month gathering of our MOPS table that was (in previous years) our 2nd MOPS meeting of the month. Our table has met once before, outside of our MOPS gatherings, at a local park. Our children are starting to know each other. We went to Jump Zone, six of us moms, nine of our children. Total fun. When our time had expired one of the moms, who seemed much more like a controlling sibling at that moment, demanded to know if we were going to go eat lunch someplace or just talk about the possiblity of doing it. Ha! So, some of opted out (for perfectly justifable reasons) and some of us headed to the unsuspecting services of Taco Bell. Four moms, six kiddos ranging from 20 months to age 4. What were we thinking? Who cares? We were hungry and had hungry children. I'm sorry if you were on your "adult" lunch break and happened to drop in there. Nah, I'm not really. Eating out is a treat that we rarely pay for, and while we tried our best to keep it tidy, there were workers there who had very good attitudes about helping us out and actually "working their job" (thank you workers for all of your help). And yes, I have worked in the fast food industry.

Speaking of attitudes. With that many kids 4 and under, there is bound to be a point of escalation. During ours, one mom was getting frustrated and we were trying to help, all the while I was hoping she wasn't wishing she hadn't come. I totally knew how she felt. Then a child's drink crashed to the floor. Moans rose from us all. Was this really worth it? Fortunately, there was a lady mopping not five feet away (coincidence?). Then at the other end of our long table another drink crashed to the floor. Giggle. Chuckle. Laugh o u t Loud. We had to! It was too funny, and besides there was nothing better to do.

Stop.

Freeze Time.

Click.

This is the moment when you realize: We just aren't in this alone. Laughs. Cries. Spills. Giggles. We're all moms, spending time together for the social good of our kiddos and for the mental social good of ourselves at great costs sometimes. We all know what it is to be challenged, overwhelmed, unsure, and misunderstood (even by our own selves) in our parenting and in our character. We know it, because we've felt it, done it, and dealt it. There are days like that, moments like that. But when we can think about the bigger picture and piece it together with each other, it seems more befitting to laugh at ourselves than anything else.

When one of the moms retrieved extra cupcakes from her car (leftover from her daughter's school birthday party) and brought them in to share with us, we all cheered!!! We went through the endless stack of one hundred napkins in the middle of our table before we realized that none of us had put them there. (???) mystery worker?

Here is a vague example that Julie took a picture of, which I agree when she says, "It totally doesn't do it justice."

Turns out that the messes today provided the most joys.

For everyone.

Tenth Avenue North

2010-11-18T13:50:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite Christian Music Artist Groups is Tenth Avenue North.

They just released their new Album and you can buy it at Itunes for $6.99 I think (promotionally) but if you do nothing else today, put your headphones on, turn the volume up, and watch this video by them.

Two days: No Facebook

2010-11-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

It feels longer, honestly. At first it was hard. Facebook really puts you on a guilt trip. Why do you want to leave? (Yes, "I spend too much time on Facebook" is actually an option to choose.) It warns you that everything you've ever done on Facebook will no longer be there if you deactivate your account. Then it shows you pictures of five random people. It says, "Donna is going to miss you!" above her profile picture and below it says, "Send her a message." Like you are going to get so distracted you will just end up forgetting what you were doing and never leave. Then you have to type out the weird letters and finally when you do get deactivated it tells you: Don't worry. You can always come back. Just type in your same user name and password. Wow.
Then it was FREEEEEING! Wahoo! I don't ever have to worry if I am missing some new status update, because I can just know that I am! I don't have to think about what my next status update is going to be...because I'm not going to update it. I can email and call someone if I want to connect. And I do. I talk on the phone and I meet with friends.
Then I find I am lonely.
No one is emailing me....(they are all on FB)....I only check my email during Brielle's nap time and nothing except emails that are Reply to All's. That's okay. I write emails to people. I write this blog. I upload pictures on here. I learn a few new things. I hope I'm connecting with others. But then I remember reason I closed FB (and why I'm only checking email once a day and slowly lowering my daily Internet and phone-talking time) is so that I can focus on what is in front of me, the life that God has given to me. And so that I can hear Him.
Monday night Tyler and I rode our bikes to his basketball evaluation at the local community center. About 8pm we were flying back, in the dark, under the stars, cool air in our lungs .... and it was a m a z i n g.
I've also been praying more for the people in my life and listening to more music. Cleaning & baking as usual. And soon I will begin the list of projects I've got in mind. I have already started a couple and will just listen to how God tells me this is the way it is to be. I like being aware. Of others. Of myself. Especially of Him, and I want more. That's what is on my heart right now.

Disclaimer: Shortly after posting this a dear friend who has been recently on my heart did reply to an email I sent her with a thought-provoking one. (I like that she challenges me.) And yesterday I did have an in-depth and at-length conversation with someone who's current situations have been greatly on my heart (she's doing amazing and giving God all of the glory). I have to believe that these (even once a day) are more important than spending an hour each day on reading updates and looking at pictures (see why I had to leave?) even though the people posting them are SO important to me, I am just going to have to trust that I get to connect with them despite FB.
I have to remember this, because I know there are going to be lulls...times when God intends to draw me out to Him alone. There. I am waiting in anticipation of this rhythm.

Veterans' Day

2010-11-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

Waiting and watching for the Parade

She waved the flag at everyone in the parade

Can you find Josh?

November is turning out to be beautiful weather after all!!!

Josh White just released Nov. 9th

2010-11-10T12:38:00.000-08:00

Have you heard of him yet? I hadn't. (Apparently he was in the band Telecast, but I didn't recognize their name) I get these free downloads in an email spam thing and so I always take them (hey after a few months it's like getting a free CD!). Is it ancient of me to type "CD?" We all still know what those are right? I mean, I'm glad they are being faded out, less trash.

Anyway, back to the album. It has been a very very very long time since I've purchased music of any kind. Think-- Budget. Confession: I have bought several $.50 paperback books. But not music. That's because I can listen to it free online...or I just think if I am meant to hear it, God will get it to me (and yes, I've heard of the Library). Well, I think He got this free song to me "The Wall" by Josh White and I am going to say that I actually feel compelled to buy the whole album off of Amazon. I can't believe I'm saying this. But I've never heard anything quite like it, therefore I'm qualifying it. I just have to scrounge up $5.99 first (even if I have to sell a few books). If you've got the $ and you like Organic Earthy Jesus-Loving music like I do: I'm going to highly recommend it.

Sweet pictures

2010-11-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

Brielle in Clarksville, TN:

Silly Bands and stockings and time to brush our teeth (no, I don't like the Disney Princess thing, but we don't refuse other peoples' offerings) and fresh from her bath.

Can you believe she is almost 3???

I love spending my days with my children (yes, it would have matter if I would have been asked about an hour ago - right before nap time).

On the other side of the Lens

2010-11-08T12:49:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we needed to get something we had signed up to bring to house church gathering and newspapers (for coupons) so we set out on our bikes. Josh & Tyler went on theirs also, to go to other places in the same area, and Brielle and I headed down the Lane to behind the Shopping Center that Aldi is located in. We were riding along the long stretch of empty backshop doors where trash and cardboard are taken out, where the trucks are usually pulled up to load in the merchandise. It was calm on this Sunday afternoon though. As we were flying along I caught a glimpse of my shadow along the pavement because the sun was to the side of us. There was my hair blowing wildly in the breeze, my long skirt flying (I also had on long pants) and the outline of Brielle's shadow riding on the back of my bike. I looked up into the warm sunlight and smiled.
It was at that moment that I felt like God, my Father, was right there, snapping a picture of me. Like He had been waiting just up ahead of me, just watching, ready. Like He saw us coming and thought, "oh, that's so beautiful."
I say this in the most humble way. As a person who struggles with insecurity and self esteem, it was amazing to feel God seeing me in that way. Just like when we see our children (or friends or friends' children or whoever) and we pull out our cameras because we are thinking, "that's so adorable. that's so worth capturing. that brings me joy! I want to remember that."
We all need to feel God seeing us in that way! Because He does!
So, my challenge to you this week is this: look for when you feel Him watching you, delighting in you, enjoying you, capturing you. Enjoy how it feels to be His child!

Note: After I wrote this blog, I was walking (jogging) with Brielle later that day and ran ahead of her to snap this picture. It seemed to capture somewhat what I was trying to convey, only with God it's of course even more amazing!

Facebook No More

2010-11-07T12:55:00.001-08:00

If you and I are "friends" on Facebook, you may already know that I am closing my account tomorrow. I am waiting to see if anyone lets me know they still want to keep in touch via email, you know...just in case. I really do want to stay in touch with all 186 people that I have as FB friends (I mean that, because last month I loosed around 100 people who I never really talked to - ever - or who repeatedly said unmindful things (meaning, mean). Is this important? Probably not. The point is that I just cannot control myself! I mean, I check my email, respond to whoever, and then get some email from FB so I click over there to reply to a msg or something, then I hit "Home" and next thing I know it's an hour later. There are people who do NOT have this problem - who are on FB. I know there are. But I am not one of them, and I am not the only one who gets sucked in like that either!
The thing is that there are results in my life that I desire. The first being that I desire God's presence in my life, and I desire to know what His desires are and what that means to me. Then there are like 25 things underneath that umbrella! (Yes, I have written them down) It's just never going to happen if I am distracted all of the time. And not just FACEBOOK...there is: checking email, phone conversations, reading blogs, shopping/comparing online, and probably many others I can't think of. Then, when I don't want to be distracted anymore I look around me and think, Okay---what can I do with what time I have left? It needs to be the complete other way around. I have been hearing God prompting me to do this for several weeks now, and I really think He has been VERY patient with my bantering with Him and justifying all of the reasons why it would make sense to keep it "just to check once a week, or every other day, or daily, or twice a day, or............hmmmmmmmm...." Yeah.
It may be different if I were single, or my husband were in the military and deployed, or I didn't have three kids at home...or if I were housebound. I don't know. But I just know that I need to listen and I need to allow some things to be pruned from my life...so that I can hear my Father, just in case He chooses to whisper.

Series of Life: Three

2010-10-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

After school:

Because they are on the front of a train that is flyyyyyyyyying down the tracks:

Working on the Railroad:

Tyler :)

A trainyard in Fall is quite lovely:

Series of Life: Two

2010-10-19T14:01:00.001-07:00

Cutest thing of the whole trip by far was Brielle giving the goats bottled milk to drink. They only got two suckles each then she yanked it from them and went off to the next one that she force-fed. It was hilarous!

This guy asked Will, "what do you think about taking me home with you?"

My kids find fun anywhere:

Perusing through history:

Isn't the next one adorable?

Series of Life: One

2010-10-19T13:54:00.000-07:00

This is Brielle's new comforting mechanism: pinching her upper lip. Here we are at Josh's Raiders competion for Northwest Highschool's JROTC program (event took place at APSU). Unfortunately, yesterday Josh found out that this was his last competition of this year, because 1st Sgt. will not allow him to be in both Raiders and play basketball. Josh thought about it all day and I was praying throughout the day for him. He may not get much playing time in basketball, but that is what he chose and we are so proud of him for making the team. Well, we would just be proud no matter what. He also did awesome in the Raiders competitions!

This is Brielle after MOPS when I tried to apply what I learned:

Titans Fan in the making:

Anheuser-Busch Tour in St. Louis, MO:

Used our Groupon here:

The Deals This Week!

2010-10-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile I am so inclined to post about the great deals that I get on sale with coupons. I get really excited when the savings actually work out! There are lots of times I spend clipping coupons and printing lists only to find that the items are sold out on the shelves (another frugal fanatic got to them before me!). So here is what I bought and what I paid. Disclaimer: I plan to recycle much of the material you see. I'm not a fan of mass consumerism, despite what the items below portray, but when I get items for free (or get paid for taking them) I will do my best to reuse and recycle.
Walgreens: $57.32 worth below - I paid $7.96 and got $9.00 in Register Rewards to spend next week (I also used some RR from last week's on this purchase).

Kroger: $58.34 worth below -- I spent $15.25

Walmart: $34.22 below -- I spent $3.98!

So, if you've added it up I spent $27.19 (price includes taxes) on everything pictured above (which is worth a whopping: $149.88) and saved $122.69!

Simple beauties

2010-10-05T14:03:00.000-07:00

I am enjoying what I believe to be the last few days of line drying our laundry on my back porch. The temperatures are perfect and the sun still reaches the back of the porch where the lines are strung. In a short time there will be no sunlight at all on our back porch, not until Spring. I know this because we have lived 9 winters in this home. We have a lot of laundry. It will only increase in the next months as our clothes become larger and heavier to warm us through the colder temperatures. I had a thought yesterday to appreciate this laundry. There will come a time soon enough that I will not have five peoples’ clothes to attend to. And do believe me when I tell you that I will quickly fill that time with things that are not getting done now. I plan to enjoy that season too, though it may be a hard transition, But more importantly, I think enjoying this season now is so very important.
It’s Brielle’s naptime. It coincides with Tyler’s arrival home from school, which is great so that I can stop whatever I’m doing and talk/listen with him. Today he asked me cut open the pineapple, over which we talked quite a bit. It’s the little things. I ride my bike to the grocery store not only because it’s great exercise and better for the environment, but also to save some change in gas costs. But I’ll get in the truck and go the half mile after dark to pick up Josh from practice at school, because it’s the only time he really talks to me. If anything is fresh on his mind, that is. It’s these small things that I'm learning are worth enjoying.
I’ve started an even more frugal means by which I am choosing to live by. I remember not long ago when I used to think that living frugally meant shopping at Aldi. Now, I realize it’s more a way of life. I thought using coupons on sales was extremely frugal. Now I know that it’s a helpful tool, but you can spend too much money saving money if you aren’t careful. I like to donate stuff, so I don’t think it was in excess like hoarding, but definitely requires attention (for example I still have 9 tubs of frosting and only 1 cake box left in my storage). I’ve learned that not spending money requires more at home baking, more food planning and preparation, and lots more TIME.
Time eludes me. I know it’s ticking away even as I type this, but entire days can go by and the huge overflow of dishes could be washed, but the sink becomes full right again! Baking, cooking, and cleaning take a major portion of my time. I never knew life like this. My dishwasher was disconnected when my talented husband replaced our sub floors and laid the laminate tiles. During that time, our sweet daughter pulled on the pipe that bent and rendered it in need of repair. Therefore, all “nearly from scratch” cooking and baking bowls, pots, and dishes must be hand washed--along with the usual plates, cups, and silverware. Paper plates have not been on hand during the past few weeks either. It’s really amazing to learn how much time it takes to work life and be frugal. I’m not sure I’d even be considered frugal in other parts of the world. And yet, I’m the most frugal person I know in real life. (Although there are others who come VERY close and I call them my friends! lol)
Brielle is nearing her 3rd birthday. This has meant (in our everyday life) that she no longer feels very tired around the 1pm time that she used to. She rarely just goes to sleep unless I lay with her. With all of the time I feel I’m loosing in a day (and this is of course totally the wrong way of looking at it) I don’t want to loose more time by lying with her in the afternoons. If I don’t, she gets up and plays quietly in her room. Yesterday I let this happen, and of course around 6pm she was one cranky, unhappy child! So today, I worked much of my chores, incorporating her help. I did stop several times to help her, play with her, paint with her, and play-dough it with her. Around 2pm, I thought we will just read a book and then lay down. As I was cuddling with her she put her arm around me and started singing me a lullaby to sleep to. Tell me there is anything more enjoyable, more important, more precious than sharing that with her at the age of 2, which soon she will no long be.
There isn’t. Because it’s in the obvious. Which I tend to forget or ignore. How can a person treasure a hundred of even a thousand obvious moments a day? The front window behind me is open and the back door as well, so that a beautiful breeze blows through my house right now. I’ve been longing to type for so many days…weeks now…to update my blog. And here I am now, in my wonderful, quiet home, on this beautiful day spending the time that God allowed me to write to my heart’s content. Living with joy, meaning we really appreciate the great and wonderful gifts that we have been given, has to matter for something. Maybe for everything. And it’s not just the peaceful “good feeling” stuff. It’s in the work, sometimes in the struggles, and perhaps even in the middle of chaos that we can behold a new realization or appreciation for what is or what can be from a situation or experience. I say this from the most humblest means. There is an evil that is quick to try and destroy that joy! I should know as well as anyone that as soon as I start praising God for the awesome things He has done in the great and the seemingly small…that there will be some interruption, some distraction, something that wants to drive a wedge to kill and destroy. Unfortunately it sometimes takes a long time for me to get to a place where I learn to appreciate things. I spent an entire year last year involved in so much that busied and distracted me. It was fine for the time, but I know that God wanted me to grow in something that I did not understand or comprehend.
I’m not naïve enough to say, “oh…take a deep breath and just inhale the blessings of God.”
I’ve been to a place where I could not conceive of that notion, a place that was broken and difficult. I’ve been to different places like that where the smog was so thick distracting that I was just walking around in some kind of haze of ambiguity in which I strangely just continued to make worse on my own. Does this make sense? If you go around long enough like that you are going to get burnt! Sometimes badly. And I certainly did. It is life-changing to discover that there are truths, there is hope, and there is a LIFE GIVER that I need to be clinging to pull me out of that eventual hell.
And when I’m out here…and I can see the simple beauties around me like what you are reading (if you‘ve stuck with me long enough through this post)…I can say with clarity and honesty and pure appreciation, “oh…take a deep breath and just inhale the blessings of God!” I can only hope that I remember that in ten minutes, two hours, and maybe if by grace alone: tomorrow.

An Unexpected Run

2010-08-26T12:21:00.000-07:00

I didn’t make it to the Downtown Market this past Saturday. I woke up at 5:45 (normal) to take Josh to Ft. Campbell for a run that his JROTC Sgt. had told him about. We arrived at 6:20am, giving us plenty of time to register and wait for the run to start at 7:00. I parked a ways away and since Josh had forgotten his phone I decided to walk with him down the hill. Once there, Josh found his JROTC friends and I found a good spot to observe everything from. I quickly realized that this run was for FALLEN SOLDIERS. A lady announced from a speakerphone that there was a memorial of 366 flags set up to her right in honor of the soldiers that have lost their lives since 9/11. I found a spot to sit down. Observing people is like a hobby of mine, but usually I'm "with" someone else (mostly my 2 yr old) and I just can't pay attention to what is out of my sphere, at least not carefully. I observed for a good 30 minutes before the announcer stated that the run would begin at 8am. What? That was an hour away! Josh had clearly been misinformed. I observed a group of soldiers, families, and other individuals and groups. I thought about why they were coming out to run today. Most had running bibs pinned to the backs of their shirts that proclaimed who they were running in honor of. Some had T-shirts that said specific names or divisions. Many had written on their papers “In honor of All of our Fallen Soldiers". I thought about one person that I knew personally whose helicopter went down in the Philippines not long after 9/11 (there were nine other soldiers aboard that flight. His name was Foshee. I never heard anyone call him Jeremy. He lived with one of Will’s closest military friends (and his wife--the Nickos) for a least a year, so we saw him quite a bit during that time. He was a good guy, he told a lot of army stories, and he liked being a soldier. He died at age 25. I figured it was never too late to run in honor of someone who I knew and who had lost his life while serving our country. So I got a bib, wrote his name on it, asked the quiet girl pushing her fingers into her phone if she would pin it on (she did), and waited like everyone else. I talked to the girl for awhile. Her husband was deployed. She was planning on walking the four mile. I got in line with the walkers, but when I started going I felt that it really wasn’t enough memorial for the soldier that gave their LIVES for our country (and Josh was running one mile, not four, so I knew I was only going a mile total). And along the same note, what about all of the soldiers that were out there right now fighting for our country in another place? 12 month deployments? Leaving their families behind? What of their sacrifices? What of their spouses and children’s sacrifices left behind? All I had to do was go a mile...it suddenly seemed almost trivial. So I ran the way back when I broke out of the walker crowd and walked up the steep hill with Josh while we talked about what the run represented. It was good to spend time with him too. I told him about Foshee.

Reflective moments in life sure can come when we least expect them too!

My Life Today

2010-08-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

This morning I went out to walk/jog at 6am. This is the scenery that greeted me:

I walked 3/4 of a mile, then jogged a full mile straight. That's the most I've ever jogged at one time. Unfortunately, it wasn't the best thing for my shin splints, and I didn't find that out until I returned home.
I was amazed by this beautiful SUNRISE! Isn't it just Glorious?

After my jog, I came home and spent too much time on my computer, while drinking my favorite coffee. Then we got it together and went on a bike ride. About a mile past our house we found these cute horses. Well, I'm not sure if they are ponies or miniature horses. Either way, they were cool! We rode on to Aldi:
$6.00 even for everything in my bike basket:

After Aldi we rode the bike over the bank. I rode it right up to the drive through (yes, I did!) to cash a check. It just seemed more logical than unpacking Brielle & the basket to go inside to do business. I didn't know what the teller would say, but she said, "Great day for a bike ride, isn't it?" Then we rode over to Walmart to get lunch meat, then home. I'd say we covered at least three miles on the bike. Below is Brielle at Tyler's dentist appt. (no cavities! yah!). She has to have the dinosaurs with the trucks because that is what makes them "Monster Trucks!" LOL!

Now today the plan was for us to ride our bike to Brielle's new preschool (more like a Parents' Day Out program) and turn in the paperwork. She was up all night last night, so I'm trying to get motivated. The weather just seems to irresistible though!
I was inspired to sort of "picture document" my day like this because of this blog: Walk Slowly, Live Wildly. LOVE IT!!!!

Thought to ponder: Full and Leisurely Life?

2010-08-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I finally made it down to the Clarksville Downtown Market. If you haven’t been there, you are missing out! Now, I have heard other newcomers to the area say they weren’t that impressed. (I’ve also heard some say the same about the Riverwalk.) It all depends on how you see it, but it is definitely better than nothing! I’ve meandered down there before, with unpeeled eyes, but this trip I felt like I really got it. I bought a small watermelon ($1), a green & red pepper (.33), a bar of soap ($4) that she assured would not cause the mosquitoes in my backyard to flock to me, a dz eggs ($2), and a bag of noodles (? admittedly, I was too busy talking), a loaf of sourdough ($3), and a whole grain muffin ($1) -the texture was unique, and that muffin made me feel good after I ate it! But better than spending less than $13 apprx. on all that, the main point is that I was able to support locals.
I rode my bike to Wal-Mart yesterday to get a gallon of milk and lunch meat for Will’s lunches. Now, we bought that bike back about 9-10 years ago, and Brielle rides in the same seat that Tyler (now 11) did when he was her size. The basket and lock I use were both given to us last year from a friend from MOPS who was moving to NYC from here and no longer needed it. They are quite handy! I like carrying the basket into the store because I know exactly what will fit into it while I’m shopping. I do wish I didn’t have to go to Wal-Mart (well, I don’t - I could go to Food Lion) but their prices are the lowest for deli meat. I spent a little less than $13 on a gallon of milk, a lb of ham and a lb of turkey. Ironically, the same I spent at the Downtown Market.
Yesterday the temperature was GREAT for a ride! We’d hoped to go sooner, but started baking bread and that requires a “bread-sitting” of sorts. Four o’clock was the busiest time of the day to go, so we ran in and out. It’s amazing how many people flock into Wal-Mart at the same time! Honestly, we were able to maneuver traffic more efficiently on the bike, and the breeze with the sunlight was downright exhilarating on the ride home! Despite the fact that it was more uphill on the way back, I seemed to not notice as much.
Now, I have done these things in the past, but my attitude seemed very different these times around. That may have something to do with the book I just finished: Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology by Eric Brende. In it, a couple moves to a remote “Amish-style” community and live without being connect to the “grid” as they say. It’s AMAZING! Maybe you have to be really fascinated with that sort of thing to love it as much as I did, but I absorbed that book! I really gained heaping mounds of information and realization about things like work ethic, necessities, socialization, and life. Time. Connecting. With nature, with ourselves, with people, and especially with God, the Giving Force of it all. In it he answers the question: How much technology is really necessary for a full and leisurely life?
I think what meant the most to me, that he never really comes out and says, but happens to live, is that we really have choices here. I think a lot of times we just thing “this is the way the world is going, how it is.” And we just accept it! Buy into it! Upgrade for it! Do we even remember it is a choice? It reminds me of when I searched for resources on natural birth. Most people didn’t know there are choices, and many still don’t care. (For example the cashier who thought ultrasounds were mandated by government when I told her I didn't have one.) But what is the cost? In giving ourselves over to the technology throne of making our lives supposedly easier, what price are we paying for just “going with the flow?” How much are we missing of the point? Of life itself?
Yes, I’m typing this on my laptop while my 2 yr old daughter watches a video on Netflix. So obviously, I’m not radically going to drop everything. Even in his book, Brende says that yes, some forms of technology are indeed helpful tools (okay, not netflix!). I am not sure I believe or agree with everything he writes. To be honest his education level far exceeds mine and that become apparent while I was trying to read his book and got lost, having to slow down and deliberately read. Unfortunately, I still didn’t always “get it.” But I got close on most of it. For me, practical implications may not mean extremity or drastic rehabilitation from technological withdrawals!
It may mean just slowing down and taking a look at what matters, what is time consuming, what produces “good” results. And “good” might need a little redefining!
This morning I went for a jog at 6:00am. As I rounded the corner behind the turn that leads to Wal-Mart I passed a couple who were carrying their groceries back home. It’s probably a ¼ mile walk just down that lone stretch. We cheerfully waved and shared our “Good Mornings!” Now, I already know that that kind of encounter is good and I dully note that getting out of the house without a covered contraption such as a car, is definitely a good start! But I’m still looking at the picture as a whole, and also at the little things that consume and consummate the “good life.” It’s going to take me a while to think on and process these things.
But like the Clarksville Downtown Market: It's a good start! And it's worth taking the time for.

Happy Summer!

2010-08-05T05:55:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe this summer is nearly over!
Well, not exactly the “summer” but summer break from school. Summer weather, as we know it here in Middle Tennessee, could continue for another two to three months! Lately I have taken to waking at the sweet time of 5:45am and going on a power walk. I'm pushing myself and jogging off an on throughout the 2 miles and I love it! My only regret is not having done this years ago! To the right is a picture I snapped with my phone as my walk was just begining. I thought to myself, "I would not be seeing this glorious morning if I hadn't just gotten out of bed!" Somedays are more challenging than others, because Brielle still gets up 1-10 times a night....but it's just invigorating to go, and a ton cooler that time of day!
The boys will start school tomorrow. Josh, on to high school. Tyler, to middle school. Brielle, home with mommy, on to all of our daily activities. Many parents express concerns about their children getting enough socialization. I worry about this about....0% for Brielle.
As for this past summer, it was our first time in probably 7 years in (out of the 14 we’ve lived in Clarksville) that we did not get a pool pass. It turned out that this summer was a consistent 10 degrees hotter on a daily basis than last year. It was all fine though. We went during the ½ off times and took 3 or 4 trips to Tiebreakers during their ½ off hours of the day. We also went bowling (for almost free) all summer, and really all of that has given us opportunities to be well-rounded. Brielle loved everything about summer. As often as she could, she would run to the back yard to swing or jump on the trampoline. She has never once complained of the heat or mosquitos. Every evening she likes to ride her bike around the block. She loved anything water and put her all into whatever the idea was (especially if there were older children showing her "how to"). Just yesterday, she was insanely diving onto the slip-n-slid! Daring girl!
Next year, I plan to sign up Tyler for acting classes at the Roxy. I’ve always wanted to, but never wanted to make the time commitment. I’m going to have to force myself next year though, because he is just too much of a character to hold back. Josh has spent most of his summer playing basket ball in his free time. He made a few friends at the basketball camp through his high school and they have been playing quite a bit in front of the house. It’s very hot, so the fact that they still go out there impresses me.
We had a great time at the Myrtle Beach. Our hotel really was only $31 a night (insane, I know). It was small and faced the city, but really it wasn’t bad. We had many great days at the beach and we all loved it. We were blessed to have family & friends that met us down there. Those were great times! The hotel (Westgate) was clean and friendly and even though it was right in the heart of downtown MB, we didn’t feel overwhelmed most of the time. However, maybe our next vacation will be on a more secluded beach…on a less inhabited island?
I like my parents’ idea of driving to Colorado too!
We made two trip to Arkansas after we came back from South Carolina. The first was pre-planned and we went there to visit. My dad’s brother and sister had passed away while we were in SC. The following weekend we went back to AR for my uncle’s memorial service.
Arkansas is so beautiful this time of year. I’ll post some of the pictures I took while there.
We are playing softball again this season. I refer to it as the most fun/frustrating thing that Will and I are doing together right now. But, hey! We haven’t started on our kitchen floors yet!
Have a great rest of the "summer"!!!!!!!!!!!!

(to the left: the kids on the country dirt road that my parents live down in Arkansas)

In Loving Memory of Aunt Barb

2010-07-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

The night (or morning rather- 1am) that I got the phone call from my mom letting me know that my Aunt Barb had passed was difficult. We were on vacation, staying near the beach on the far east coast. I bawled. I wrote. I used up a box of tissues. It was raw and understandably so. The next morning was confusing. I wondered if I should uproot our family vacation and drive back to Arkansas for her funeral or not. Who would that be for? It wouldn't matter to my aunt, she was gone. It would help my parents maybe? Then I decided that mostly I'd be going for me. For closure, and mostly for being around all of my family that knew her like I did - and knew how much she loved us. For those of us who knew how wonderful she was. Where I was, no one knew about her like that.

I was up early. My family still slept.

I decided I needed to sort out what I was thinking and so I grabbed my sandals and headed to the sand. It was cool that morning. Cool sand, clouds, sunrise. I stood and stared at the sunlight that shown through the clouds like a beacon of light, like God was telling me He was here, Aunt Barb was with Him. She was shining. It seemed like a sign. I began to walk South. Along the shore I found a shell that reminded me of her. The colors were like the ones she'd chosen for her house. The shell was broken and scarred across the back, but beautiful and strong still. I carried it and walked on, finding four more shells at different places that reminded me of her. I must have walked a 1/2 mile or so. When I came to an uncrowded place, I stopped. I turned each shell over in my hands and pondered why I'd picked it up, why it had reminded me of her so. One symbolized the Strength of her character. I thanked God for that of her, then felt myself throwing it into the ocean. Another made me think of her Caring and Tender nature. Thank you God. Launched into the ocean. Another, of her laughter and wittiness. Smiling, just hearing her laugh in my mind. And launch. Walking.

I still held the last and the first shells I'd found, not yet sure what they symbolized.

As I walked, I realized the first shell was Art, created by God Himself. Aunt Barb had so many artistic talents that she willingly shared with the world. Playing the guitar and singing, decorating a cake for a special occasion, making a dish, or evening organizing a family gathering. Bold with her talents, unafraid, and yet humble all the while. Priceless. I held on to that shell.

The last one was small and thin and frail. Like maybe how she was, or felt, near the end. But I didn't see her then; my last memories of her are sweet ones. The last shell was True. She was true to herself, to who she was and where she was from. She was honest and appreciative of seeing something in a new light, if it was true and good. That's admirable.

I felt much peace as I continued to walk back up the shore. It dawned on me that I'd just had a personal private memorial service for my aunt just then. And I felt in my heart that I'd honored her with God being with me, and He of course knew her/knows her far greater than I do.

About a week later I was thinking of her and pictured her young, like in her early 20's, singing and dancing and experiencing JOY to the greatness of one's capacity. I've seen people joyful in life, but never like that. I suppose that's why it's called Heaven.to my aunt barb...you will be dearly missed...

Nashville Trip of fun places to go!

2010-05-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

Tiffany and Brielle are excited to be at the Downtown Farmers' Market in Nashville for the first time. This is a very cool place to go, you should check it out, especially since they have probably gotten larger since it is Spring. But don't go there BEFORE you check out Downtown Market here in Clarksville, TN!!!

Our first trip to Trader Joe's. They have the cutest shopping carts for kids with "parent controls" ha! They also have samples and the coffee was so good (and on sale) that I had to buy some, despite the fact that it was not fair trade.

Our first time to eat at Panera Bread. The broccoli cheese soup and bread impressed me, actually.

What would you miss?

2010-05-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

Today through my window I saw this beautiful mom with curly dark hair walking up to my porch with a very handsome toddler riding high on her shoulders. I thought, "who is this?" Until I got to the door. "ASTRID!" I gave her a big hug and marveled of how well she glowed and how much her son had grown! She was visiting in town from Germany.

Back up about 2 years ago. I was strolling along out one hot day in May angry and frustrated. Another mom had set up a play date with Brielle and I and had backed out (again), so I angrily walked (strode) around the block thinking I was done trying to meet new friends with babies. Then, as I rounded the corner, lo and behold was a women pushing a baby carriage with a large dog was walking toward me while correcting her dog and shading her baby with the flippable European carriage. She seemed distressed a little too. We said hi and she took a look in my stroller at my sweet 5 month old. Brielle had extreme seborrhea dermatitis on her face (and everywhere else) and her little cheeks were blotchy red. Astrid was very concerned. She said she knew of some German products that could maybe help, and she knew of someone who had to change her diet since she was nursing and the baby maybe did not like her mother to eat certain things. We walked to my house, then we walked to hers. One day soon after she brought me the German products for Brielle's skin and a list of foods I could try eliminating. We seemed like two totally different people, but we were neighbors who got along okay, and we both needed a friend. So there we were. We ran into each other occasionally while walking, and we'd gotten together a few times, but we really didn't see each other a lot over the next year. I knew she was planning to move back to Germany, but she was going through a frustrating time, so I don't know when she exactly left.
But she still had my phone number and she still knew where I lived, of course. So, she called a few times and we hoped we could get together while she was in the U.S. But I was still surprised to see her, nevertheless!
We talked and talked about all that had changed since she'd moved in the last year. We talked about the differences between Germany and the U.S. She told me a few things she had on her "wish list" to buy while she was here.
Then, I asked her the BURNING Question: "So, all of what you have in Germany, what do you miss from the U.S. most then? What is here that is not there."
"Friendliness. Kindness. Nothing you can buy, just conversation. People that will share their time and care about yours. That is what I miss most."

She is so honest. I certainly didn't intend to blog about it when I asked her, but I really truly think that what she said is worth pondering to me. Do I take these things for granted all day long? People who are friendly and kind and will talk with me. Probably, yes. Do I give others kindness as freely as I've been given the time and ability to? No.

God, thank you for giving me a neighbor who has enlightened me as much as Astrid has. Thank you that she chose to come visit me while she is back in the States for the week! Thank you for the crazy ways that you work while we are in the midst of not understanding.

ps-she loaded us down with those wonderful German products for Brielle's skin too. How sweet was that? It was way too much and she says, "I was not sure if it would be enough."

The Great Rain Out 2010

2010-05-04T05:58:00.000-07:00

Friday
8:30am - Weather Channel predicting 80% chance of RAIN, some heavy on Sat. Severe storms on Sunday
(the plan to go camping on the 1st Ever Ladies Camping trip is still ON) 10 ladies going is now down to 8 though.
10:00pm - Plan may change. A poll goes out by email to have an indoor campout @ Tara's.
1:51pm -I wonder, "should I still bring the grubby clothes I packed and bring my camping chair anyway?"
Donna suggests this could be an annual event if it goes well (she and Tiffany have Co-Coordinated this trip)
2:51 - read official email that the location has been changed to Tara's
(should call Amelia)
4:30pm - called Amelia & Kelly B. because they are two that don't consistently check email

Saturday
4:00am - First Storm arrives
10:00am - has been raining nonstop for the past six hours - forgot to print verses and still need to make more necklaces for the "KNOW/NO" game
1:15pm - some of us meet at Big Lots to follow each other out to Tara's
1:45 - head out to Tara's, get lost, make it anyway. It has not stopped raining yet.
2:15 - Those of us who are at Tara's (Tara, Amanda, Donna, Kelly, Tiffany, & me) ride out the Barn to check out the loft as an option for sleep and/or devotional. It looks rustic and good, but not safe for a baby, and we know our precious Eliana is coming, who is just shy of her 1st birthday. It also seems like a long haul over there, even though it is jut across a field that hosts a flooded road/pathway. It sounds like a great option, but do we want to haul? We can't decide. We consider it for morning devotional possibly at the very least.
2:50 - back at the house we start the "Negative/Know" game (yes, name changed) with the necklaces
3:01 we are welcomed to camptrip 2010
3:02 opening prayer (lol)
3:07 - Tiff explains the prayer non-hike and we all disperse to go spend time alone with God.
4:30 (or so) - Kelly E (with Eliana) and Anna (with junk food) arrive safely after their detour
4:45 - Amelia arrives (is this right? I can't remember)
5:00 - Start cooking exquisite meal (hot dogs in a frying pan) Hey, it wasn't bad!
6:30 - Still raining constantly with heavy rains during the quite frequent storms
Amanda starts us out on a game called "Ha Ha Ha" We laugh enough to burn off some of the calories from the hot dogs and junk food.
6:50- next game "Follow the Leader" (some of us are better than others at this one that is for sure!)
7: 15 - next game (Amanda has tons of these up her sleeves, obviously) "Mafia" Crazy game that reminds us of clue and I'm horrible at this one too (am I good at any games, I wonder?)
7:30 - Lana arrives making it now ten of us there
8:00 - We snack more and it becomes obviously clear that the "No/Know" game has dominate players, so we award them their prizes for 1st and 2nd places (Congrats to Amanda for 1st place and Tiffany for 2nd) Everyone gets their own necklace to keep as souvenir from this camp out. To my delight some people like them and even wear them after the game is over.
8:30 - Anna leads us in worshipping our King with our songs
9:00 - Tara starts us out with a devotional thought and then the floor is opened to share. It has not stopped raining or sporadically storming. We share, then discuss why it is that we share. Then we go deeper, because no one is going home.
11:00 - Break. Then gather back around the candles
11:30 - For the first time in my life (that I recall) I laugh and cry during the SAME prayer! Wow.

Sunday
2:20AM - First group (five people) goes to bed. Who knows when the other five go to bed, because I was in the first group. I'm not sure if Tara ever went to sleep, I seem to recall her moving about during the night.
7:00 - Lana leaves; I feel exhausted.
7:30 - I sit up and think which leads to praying.
I end up going downstairs to hang with the only person I hear awake, Eliana (and her momma, Kelly E." I enjoy this sweet morning time with them.
8:00 - go upstairs where some are stirring and sipping coffee (thank you Tara).
I run to the coffee pot and guzzle down two cups while starting to cook the bacon. Discover Tara's stove is more advanced than my laptop. Tiff starts on the pancakes. Then we all eat.
10:15 - early bird devo and communion (by Donna) where we share our favorites stories and remembrances of Jesus, our Beloved.
11:00 - Clean up, pack up. Some of us make cards while others play another one of Amanda's bottomless stock of games.
12:45 - leave for Guadalajara
Rain has NEVER stopped.
Amelia's vehicle needs help starting then Anna's van gets stuck in the mud. Thank goodness Matt (Tara's husband) had just returned! Some of us have already left and we don't even know this is happening.
1:30 - Lana is already there with a table. Amelia drives home instead of eating. The water in the Cumberland River is almost to the restaurant. Driving is horrendous, but we have no idea that within 24 hours Riverside Drive will be completely flooded and covered by the overflow of the Cumberland. It will set record level highs, five to six feet above what it has ever been.
2:30 - Group picture (can someone crop Amelia in?) Hugs all around. Everyone heads home.
4:15 - The rain stops. God has graciously shined His mercy on each of us, individually and together.

I love you ladies, for all that you are, and all that you are not. I have grown because of you and your willingness to grow too. I thank Him immensely for you.

Ladies' Camping Trip

2010-05-03T05:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I woke up and looked around me. I was so tired. I began to recall last night and early this morning. Laughter. Tears. Time alone with God. Time together with great friends who are also my sisters. Everything was quiet. I rarely get quiet. I looked at these women, all asleep, all beautiful. All of us incredibly broken, yet restored. Today was a new day, a fresh start, a deliverance in many ways. God brought us through an amazingly fun and deep time through which He displayed His talent at perfect planning. Like riding a wave, not knowing how it might go, we crashed into His hiding place, His arms. And it sealed the bond. Thank you Jesus.

the unexpected fall

2010-04-25T10:06:00.000-07:00

It is amazing what a person can learn in 24 hours. Yesterday, I slipped and fell on the way into Big Lots. It had just begun to rain and it looked like a downpour was about to follow. I started jogging, Will & Tyler ahead of me. I was laughing at myself.
Until I hit the slick ramp before the entrance in to the store.
I went down on my right knee. My left ankle twisted in confusion and I felt my right quadricep muscle tear. I didn't want to move it hurt so bad. But since Will informed me that the clerks were staring at me I moved to the side, super mad that that had just happened. I hobbled around the store with the cart to aid me, but I wanted to go home. We stopped at Walgreens and I thought I could hobble in and use my few coupons, but as soon as I got out of the truck I could barely stand on my left ankle.
We came home and I looked up both injuries on the Internet. RICE for both (Rest, Ice, Compress, and Elevation). I began doing that. Will had to help me up when I needed to use the bathroom. My left ankle hurt so bad that I had to put most of my weight onto him to help me. When I sat back down I thought, "I can't live like this for however long!" "I can't do anything!"
I tried to think of things that I could do, but I kept getting frustrated at how badly I was hurt.
An hour or so later I limped outside to sit on the porch. Will helped me back in and I asked him, "what am I going to do?" He smiled at me and said, "It's going to heal. You're going to get better. It just takes time." I felt like he was crazy! How fast could this possibly heal so that I could get around on my own? I cried silently a little.
After awhile I began to really focus on the the good things I could think of, and what I really could do during my time of rest. Here are a few:
1-my legs still work and so do my arms, hands, and senses
2-I have lots of helping, caring, and sensitive people in my home that are my family
3-this is NOT the worst thing that could have happened
4-we could play a board game
5-I can read a book
6-I can (and did) read short stories of laughter to my kids
7-I can type and connect with others on my laptop
8-it feels nice to relax next to a window that has a nice breeze flowing into it
9-I still have free song credits that I can download
10-I know God will use this experience
I think that in some ways I can relate to others who get hurt now. I know I can appreciate the things that I took for granted being able to do. And I can observe and delight in my family members more than before. Also, it's been amazing to witness God's speedy healing. Yesterday, I thought walking would not be an option for awhile. Today I am able to get around on my own. And it hasn't even been 24 hours yet, honestly.

Beautiful Girl

2010-04-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

The Spring Break picture of the Week! (taken this morning)

2010-03-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

The name of the game this week has been "Monopoly Deal." Josh has been challenging everyone over the age of 3 in our household to play against him every chance he gets. This may be due to the fact that he can't play his PSP and is bored...or maybe he just likes to get beaten! (except when he wins!)

Celebrating Josh

2010-03-25T17:49:00.001-07:00

Celebrating Tyler

2010-03-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

Celebrating Brielle

2010-03-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

So messed up / So clear

2010-03-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

Why does everything is this world get so messed up? Why are people messy to be in relationship(s) with? Why are things (that should be so easy and simple) so difficult? Why can’t everything just “flow?”
Why? Why? Why?
I know that God created the earth and made everything good and that He gave people a choice, free will. I know that because of poor choices humankind has experienced what we know as “the fall.” Adam and Eve. Why Eve, why? I have thought long and hard about what I would have done in Eve’s place. I’m sure she regretted it horribly, and she had to live with her decision for the rest of her life. But life went on and there were good things that God still did for humankind. Good things that He still continues to do.
But the selfish reason that Eve was tempted to acquire more knowledge still exists in the world today and it is called sin. Now, sin is a word that normally does not come up in my verbal vocabulary. I don’t know much about it other than what it is (or can be) and that it separates us from God. But when I began thinking about the messiness of this world and myself and other people, it dawned on me that it is all because of sin. Sin messes things up! I don’t really like the word, it makes me feel all religious for some reason to talk about sin, and I really don’t care for religion. But the more I thought about it-- the freer I felt and the clearer I viewed life. It’s not you, and it’s not me, but sin will mess us up.
I mean, we will have a choice. We can choose not to sin, we are never obligated. It might seem like something small (and it won’t “feel” right) but sin is like a slowly clogging drain. One day the drain will not work if you keep throwing gunk down it.
Or maybe like Will’s heart attack that he had almost three years ago. If a person continues to put unhealthy things into their body (bad foods, smoking cigarettes, etc…) eventually their artery is going to clog. I learned a lot about this in a short amount of time! As a thirty year old wife, I never dreamed I would know how a stent worked to open an artery. And we also learned the repercussions of unhealthy choices. It was scary! It was messy! and it was really, really expensive.
How does that NOT happen? You stay away from toxic gunk that clogs life, right? How?
(thinking, thinking….)
Truth.
Truth is like fresh water from the spring. It is clean, pure, and perfect. It is like a clear Spring day. It is like the bread of Life. It is whole and fulfilling and full of Wisdom. Truth denounces lies.
Where do we find it? In God’s word-- and God speaks His truth to us if we pray and ask for it. He’s not going to withhold good things from us, especially when we ask for them in Jesus’ name! Without Jesus we would be bound up in sin gunk, but He came and died to set us free.
Sin can start out so seemingly small and harmless and things can still “flow” before there are real signs of disharmony. So, really knowing and using God’s Word and exhibiting self discipline are crucial. I’m not so good about these things, but I hate the idea of sin clogging up my life so bad that I have to have a heart attack before I wake up to the awful mess that I’m in.
I doubt that I ever do (or will) go a day without sin messing up my life in some way. But free will gives us all a choice of nasty clogging gunk or fresh Spring water.
So, I'm prepared to search...and expect to find.
1 Corinthians 10:23-24"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. (NIV)

First Toddler Craft

2010-03-18T06:43:00.001-07:00

So, yesterday one of my "ideals" actually happened. I was trying to work on "crafting stuff" and Brielle wanted to get involved so I hooked her up with some crafts. I started simple (glue stick, chip board, and paper) and just showed her what to do. She totally amazed me. She is like a sponge in her brain right now. She's willing to learn anything I will take time to teach her. It's so crazy. I think that the age of TWO is only terrible if you don't provide them with opportunities, because all they want to do is learn. If I remember correctly, this development slows down around age 3 or 4 sometimes (from what I read on child brain development). How accurate that is, I don't know. But we sure stay busy these days! lol

Chocolate Eclair Recipe

2010-03-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

I made this dessert for MOPS last Thursday and a friend asked me for the recipe. Since I got the recipe off of the label on the Whipped Topping, I had to type it out for her. (ha! effort! no copying & pasting!) So, that my "effort" could go even further, I thought I'd post this yummy recipe here. It's too simple and if you use low fat milk and Light whipped topping, I'm sure it would be a lot healthier too!

Chocolate Eclair

1 box 3.5 oz vanilla instant pudding
1 box 3.5 oz chocolate instant pudding
3 cups milk16 oz whipped topping (thawed)
1 box (16 oz) graham crackers
1 tub (16 oz) chocolate frosting

Mix each pudding with 1 1/2 c milk. Fold 8ox of whipped topping into each pudding. In a 9'' x 13" glass pan, layer graham crackers, 1/2 vanilla pudding mixture, more crackers, 1/2 chocolate pudding mixture, crackers, remaining vanilla pudding, crackers and remaining chocolate pudding. Top with layer of crackers and frost with chocolate frosting (which I microwaved for 30 seconds and stirred well). Refrigerate. Best if made 8 hours before serving. Refrigerate any leftovers.

New Phone Pictures

2010-03-03T08:24:00.000-08:00

We always love to stop in Mammoth Springs, AR:

Destiny Parks (Brielle is off the ground!):

Rolling her eyes (it's still cute!)

Real Snow Day:

Making Bubble Gum:

Holding her "baby" bear:

Things only a third child left at home gets to do:

Downtown:

Happy Birthday Josh & Tyler: (their birthdays are five days apart and this photo was taken right in the middle of them after they both got to play on the same basketball team for one game only)

Saturdays are exhausting here:

Maybe Tomorrow?

2010-03-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

This seems to be what I say every evening when I realize that most of things I would have loved to do got pushed aside while I did a million other things. Good things, of course, but never all, never everything. Sometimes, never even one extra thing. Some days I am doing good just to accomplish the basic household chores and spend time all along the way with our ever-growing two-year-old. I dream of creating new things in my newly remodeled "set up just for this" basement room. I dream of writing stories. I envision myself rising before the rest of my family and spending time alone with God, exercising, then writing or taking care of our finances THEN spending morning time with my family (HA!). I picture Brielle and I painting a picture together, or creating something together, taking walks.... and sometimes, some days, these things DO happen. But many days I feel like my list of dreams goes to tomorrow's list. This is life. This is life for people who don't have a household of five and a dog. There is never enough time.
But it's okay and deep inside I do know this.
I am praying through the things that I am doing, the things I am called to do, and the things I am supposed to leave (for a season, or for forever). It would be easier if God could just open and close doors for me. That would be an "answer." But instead I am experiencing a deeper walk in my faith by navigating through trusting Him, even when there are no clear signs. And I feel like He is saying, "just enjoy NOW. This day, right this moment, all I give you."
Deep breath.
Yes, it is enough for today.

The Snow we had!

2010-02-26T08:31:00.000-08:00

We experienced far more snow this winter than we usually do here in Tennessee. Fortunately, my kids, like most kids probably, love playing in it. I guess I didn't get too many pictures of Josh, but he was there and enjoyed just as much of the fun, if not MOST of it! Brielle went down the hill on the sled with me a few times but it was such fresh snow that it flew in her face and she didn't like sledding after that, even when it packed and didn't happen. But, she was very thirsty and so I taught her the "art of eating snow" and she didn't really want to stop!

Potty Coaching 101

2010-02-05T20:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this post is for all of you mommies and daddies out there that have (or will have) a little one who will one day use the toilet! Those who have gone through the process (or been around it) won't mind either, but for everyone else here is your warning: I use words like pee and poo to describe what goes on here. There. You've been forewarned.

The day before Brielle turned 2 she pooped in the toilet. It was a breakthrough. She had been going potty for almost 3 weeks in the toilet, and though she’d pooped once (totally by accident) she had previously spent a week of tummy torment and fear of going in the toilet (not to mention restless nights). Then, Breakthrough! And the rest is history…………
Many people have asked me HOW? How did you do it? So, before it gets too far from my memory (it’s been 3 months now and I’ve already jumbled some of the details) I thought I’d share.
First of all, I didn’t do anything. Brielle did it. She told me she wanted to (I paid attention) and I just helped her get there. I never used the words “potty training,” it was much more like “coaching” or “cheerleading.” And I never saw it coming. I didn’t plan to coach her. It happened totally by accident. I’d already introduced the potty to her and she’d sat on a few times. No pressure. Just introducing it. But when her 3 year old cousin came over for the day and used the big toilet she didn’t miss a thing. She asked to use it after he was done. I inwardly rolled my eyes (if that’s possible) and put her up there. She went...then maybe she tried it again that day? I’m not sure. I remember not really caring. It reminds me of when I was in labor with her… I didn’t really pay attention. But I do remember being surprised, so the next day (a Friday) I took the diaper off of her and let her run in a t-shirt and tights. She told me all day when she felt a drizzle that she had to go “peepee toilet.” (At the time she said, “OH! OH! OH!” while grabbing herself.) I took her every time. We rushed it like it was an emergency. This is kind of the fun part. She immediately went and we cleaned up with a “pat pat pat” then washed our hands. She was always allowed to go right back to what she was doing, or whatever toy she was playing with if she desired. I think this is important. We had to change tights because of the drizzle and part of the day we went without them. I was baffled this was happening. I was so excited that Will & the boys would be home the next day to witness this phenomenon that our 23 month old was displaying!
But then Saturday came and she didn’t behave the same way. I asked a few times, but she’d made it clear she wasn’t interested. Maybe because 3 of her favorite other family members were home, who knows? This is when an idea dawned on me! If she isn’t going to tell me, she is certainly going to be in her cloth diapers only. This would help her to “feel” when she wet and familiarize herself with the feeling of going. So that is what I did, and Sunday went the same way as Saturday. Whatever.
Monday morning came and I decided to try it again. I put her back in tights only. Sure enough, she told me, “oh! oh! oh!” Back to it. Every day that she was interested (most week days that we were home) she was in tights or nothing and we followed the same routine about going. Consistency is crucial, honestly. And it helped that we hung out together most of the time during these days. The first two weeks she pooped in her diaper (minus that one accident in the toilet - lol) But when we had completed week two she wasn‘t going anywhere……..which was traumatic for the entire family, honestly. At several moments I just told her, “it’s okay sweetie! Just go in your diaper! It’s fine…” But she wouldn’t. I put her potty in the kitchen. This may feel unsanitary to some of you, but I assure you that moms everywhere who read this have already gotten over it. It wasn’t near where we cook or eat. I was doing something at the counter while she rushed in and I helped her sit down, then went back to the counter. This was not normal, usually she went potty right away…so I helped her wipe and get down right after; there was never a need to “sit” on the toilet. But this time I tried it because of her tummy trauma. I continued to pretend to be busy at the counter while she worked things out on the toilet and I watched her out of the corner of my eye. It took a while, but when she was done, I admit that I could hardly contain my excitement!!!! We had a PARTY of sorts! Praise Jesus!
We still use pull-ups when we go out for the most part. They just make me feel safer if we can’t make it to the toilet fast enough. I doubt I’d ever put a toddler in pull-ups who didn’t tell me that they needed to go potty. I rarely ask Brielle unless I see her hold herself, then I ask as a reminder, but 90% of the time she tells me she has to go. It is time consuming how often she goes! But it’s far better than changing diapers!
Another thing we did was watch Elmo’s Potty Time a few times during those three weeks (she still likes it occasionally).
I jotted down a few tips right after we were done and I will paste them below. By some standards Brielle still isn’t completely potty trained. She can’t pull down or up her pants and she definitely cannot properly wipe herself! But to me she qualifies. She tells me she has to go, and consistently pees and poos in the toilet. Good enough. No. That’s BETTER than I expected at this stage in the game.
Here are my tips:
1) do not care if the child uses it or not (don’t REALLY care anyway)
2) don’t get frustrated if there are messes to clean during this process
3) don’t waste money on expensive pull ups
4) praise/ do not scold; accidents do happen
5) don’t put a lot of thought into the whole process. relax and child will relax too.
6) Never try to train a child who is not interested. It won’t work; it may have a reverse effect!
7) Remember, that you are just the “helper” in this process. You “help” by providing a little toilet (or seat on big toilet). You “help” by taking them to the toilet. You “help” wipe and sing the potty song! You are the loving guide, the patient instructor, the humble servant, and the cheerleader.
If you do it any other way, you will get frustrated and your child might relapse. It’s possible. If you have other great tips, please add a comment!

Blue Moment

2010-01-20T06:14:00.000-08:00

Within the past five days four out of the five in our family have been ill. I got it fourth and I was very ill yesterday morning...then still recovering by the evening. Thankfully, the day was actually peaceful and relaxing but I still didn't feel good, just better. A friend came over to take the kids out to dinner and after they left I just sat on my front porch, relaxing.
The evening was quiet in the neighborhood. I could hear traffic a few blocks West and South of me on the busier roads. In front of me I saw the lights of a city bus go by three blocks away. This can only be seen in the winter time. Not a sound was heard on my street. It was 5:30 and still quite warm out but everyone seemed already tucked into their homes, making dinner and helping with homework. Which is what I would normally be doing too, but my day was a little different because of the circumstances, for which I felt grateful at that moment. I began to think how I really love this city I live in, my neighborhood, and my front porch. I just sat there and soaked it in and thanked God. Time moved slow, for which I was grateful. Then I realized everything was blue. A Blue Moment. And I thought, "this is what it's all about." Peace really is more than just the absence of conflict. It's the melodic joy that sings through the heart. It's beyond my understanding. And for me, it is the most beautiful shade of blue...

A few updates

2010-01-13T05:47:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated my blog in a few weeks, so I thought I would throw some interesting things in here (interesting to my life anyway!) about what we've been doing lately.

1. Handed out my last two homeless roadside kits yesterday. Two men were standing in the same area by PetSmart holding a sign. One walked away because apparently the police had been giving them a hard time for doing this (that's what one of the guys said anyway).

2. I reconnected with a dear friend this week and it was sweet.

3. Our house church family met at my house last Sunday and it was really good! I'm excited about what God is doing and what He has in store for the future!

4. I get to spend my weekdays with the most AMAZING girl in the world! (She is laying her head on my lap as I type this.) While we still have tons of "toddler mini-traumas" and I do get frustrated at times, I am most often reminded that I am extremely blessed to be able to share my days with this incredible person! She makes me laugh and wonder and be in the moment.

5. My computer may crash at any time. It has been experiencing symptoms like: black out screen, locking up, not coming back on, and moving incredibly slow. Therefore, I am making efforts to get my information off and on to storage. I haven't uploaded any pics/videos, which is HARD for me. I haven't even broken into my new camera because I feel that I need to take care of the computer issues before anything else. Highly time consuming.

6. MOPS @ FBC and Mom2Mom @ HPC are both going well. At times I do feel like I am very busy volunteering and that I'm not paying attention to the RELATIONSHIPS and OPPORTUNITIES that God puts along my path. That stings, and I need to pray more about what the future could mean. I just LOVE everything I'm involved in.

7. Both of the boys are doing good in school. One has straight A's. One has shown great effort and improvement. They are both playing Upward basketball and games start Saturday.

8. Shadee is doing great, she must be completely recovered because she is acting normal. She really needs to go to the dog salon and get a bath though, because the ones I give her just don't work long term.

9. Psalm 122. Peace is more than just the absence of conflict.

Pictures!!!

2009-12-23T11:48:00.001-08:00

Who knew that a little flour and water could entertain her for SO long? Btw, she was still getting accustomed to the toilet this day, so that is the reason for the attire.
Two of her favorite friends at Big Lots. Never noticed they were there before this.
Wait a second, who is calling?

Passed out in the morning! Potty training is hard work:

Talking to Grandma on the bluetooth.

She decided to be nice and "take Shadee her food to her on her bed...."

Rounded the corner at Dollar Tree, following her and this is what I found:

She gets a little bored while I'm shopping, so she has to create her own fun:

My little tree-hugger!

Almost, but not yet.

No 20th day

2009-12-21T20:15:00.000-08:00

Not only have I not had time to load pictures on to my computer (and boy do I have some cute ones!) I haven't had time to work on the 23 Days of Christmas. I feel strongly that God is whispering to me, "it's okay." :) We just moved FIVE rooms in our house around. Talk about a chore! I don't liken it to actually moving to a new location, but it goes almost halfway. The only thing that got remodeled was the basement. It still looks in mint condition (no one has had time to hang out down there). The rest of us got bedrooms "as is." So, yep, that means that Will & I moved into the blue room (formerly the boys' playroom) with the glow-in-the-dark galaxy as our border and with deluxe matching curtains (thanks Mom!)! Brielle got the "preschool Tyler's" construction theme room, but I'm honestly thinking about leaving it up until she is old enough to decide on her own fav colors & theme.
If moving all these rooms (and closets) around doesn't seem hectic enough - especially the weekend before Christmas- our two youngest children became ill with a ferocious stomach bug within hours of each other. While that put a hold on the move, it was really sad and hard to watch them go through that kind of retching illness :( The downside was that we missed our favorite Christmas party of the year. The flip side is that it was over and done with before Christmas, bless their hearts!
Now, even though we've only passed out 10 of our 23 Days, it has not been without great encouragement in return. One of our neighbors actually came by this morning to "return" the favor by filling up our mason jar with chocolates! She was so surprised that we had done something like that and wanted to return the favor. When we had brought them their pumpkin bread in a jar I had actually thought, "they think we are crazy." LOL If so, the crazy rubbed off! Our computer desk, crib, children's 1/2 desk?, computer, and chair littered our front porch. I explained about the move. I asked her if she knew of anyone who needed a crib. It was a long shot, but she happened to have a DIL that was due in 3 months who did not yet have a crib! Way to go God! They come to pick it up tomorrow. Pretty cool stuff.
I doubt I will bake again until after the new year - unless my bedroom miraculously unpacks itself - but I think it's okay that if we end up handing out goods then, that is fine. I won't give up, but I'm not going to work myself into a frenzy either.
By the way, did I mention our new bedroom comes with a cool garage-sale lava lamp that some oblivious kid left behind? It makes the room seem more retro, and I kind of dig it dude.

Giving Grace

2009-12-17T21:07:00.000-08:00

A short but meaningful story: Last week I was in the checkout line at Kroger. I know I take longer than some because the cashier has to scan all of my coupons. But there were no problems this time, and all coupons were on target. As I was taking my receipt and leaving, I felt a cart grab the back of my heal. The older lady behind me had ran into me while I was walking out of the checkout. She immediately apologized and she sounded remorseful. I assured her it was okay and attempted to smile at her. It hurt! I even tried not to limp on my way out. It hit me then and there. Now, what if that had been on my kids? They would have at least gotten "the look!"
Why did I extend that kind of grace to a perfect stranger? and why don't I extend it to those closest to me? All I could think was, if I could do that for her, I should do that for my children as well.

Tyler decorating the Christmas tree

2009-12-16T06:51:00.000-08:00

the 13th day of 23

2009-12-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to confess. This baking 23 homemade goodies for my neighbors in an effort to bless and get to know them is challenging! 1) because it's hard to find time to bake, and 2) because they aren't home when we go to take them something. However, despite these challenges, it is still going quite well. We are meeting our neighbors that we didn't know and giving a happy holiday greeting to the ones we do. I insist that all three children come with me every time we go. I want the neighbors to meet my whole family (I can't get Will to do this of course :). This is hard when we have been busy. I backed individual tins of pumpkin bread for the neighbors that I know have 2 or less people in their household. They set on my counter for two days before I had time to take them to them. I admit that I was ready just to do a "drive by" and throw them on their doorstep in haste. That would deplete the whole point though. :) So....we all went on the third day. Two days later we took out three more German Potato coffee cakes to the larger households and Josh commented, "I like this. It's like our daily evening walk out together." He was wearing a Santa hat and each of us carried pie plate of the cake, myself also holding Brielle. It was one of the warmer evenings and as I thought about the about the three gifts that we carried while we walked down our street, I likened it to the three wise men with their three gifts. This is what Christmas is all about to me.

Day One of the 23 days of Christmas

2009-12-02T14:32:00.000-08:00

Okay, so if you haven’t read my 23 Days of Christmas blog, it lies below. The jest is to provide all 23 of my surrounding neighbors with a home-baked good for the purpose of getting to know them better and also to spread some holiday cheer! Yesterday was day one. I made German Potato Coffee Cake (a great recipe that I swiped from cyberspace last year after I got my bread machine for Christmas). The recipe bakes three pie plates, so that was handy. We carried two, but came home with one (we couldn’t get rid of it! lol) All three children came with me. We met a new neighbor on our corner and we met our neighbors that have lived here almost as long as we have. It was really fun, especially since the second neighbor was prepared to tell us “no” to whatever we were selling him, until we told him the real reason we were interrupting his evening. Then his expression softened and he called his wife to meet us too! It was great and the kids enjoyed it too! We made a map of all of our neighbors. Empty boxes indicate their houses. We are putting X’s in them after we deliver, along with writing down their names to remember them by. I really hope it continues to be this fun by day 23 and that we don’t get burned out (or turned away) by then.

Brielle's Birth Story

2009-11-30T07:50:00.000-08:00

Thanks for checking out this blog! To read the full version of Brielle's incredible birth story click here http://jennadawn76blue.blogspot.com/2008/04/brielles-birth-story.html !

Happy 2nd Birthday Brielle!

2009-11-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

Today is Brielle's 2nd Birthday! What an amazing adventure these past two years have been, full of so many joys, surprises, and many testimonies to the grace and glory of God!

Our beautiful princess shines everyday and reminds us constantly how God's plans are so perfect, so much greater than our own! Every single day Will and I probably have at least one thought like, "would we ever have thought??" When we see our daughter sing and dance, chase after her brothers, or lavish us all with her hugs and kisses, we have to wonder how we could have ever imagined something so great. Many couples who have their last child say, "now we feel complete." I'm fairly certain we felt "complete" before Brielle came. Now we feel ABUNDANTLY BLESSED!

Thank you God for Brielle's life! Thank you for the person she is and that we are able to learn something new about her every day. Thank you for all she is teaching us!

Happy 2nd Birthday Brielle Jenae Jimenez!!!

Homeless Roadside Kits

2009-11-24T06:46:00.000-08:00

Earlier I mentioned helping the homeless who stand on busy road intersections this time of year holding a sign asking for help. I thought it would be a good idea to get the kids involved in making bags for these people, considering we’ve had a few conversations about them when we’ve seen them and having sensed the awkwardness in our car. We are going to keep at least one in the car that way if we see someone who needs it we can give it to them.
I made just two of them and threw them in the car, "just in case." But we plan to package more in December with our church family. We will put the items in a plastic grocery bag, nothing fancy. We will include two general categories: non-perishable food and personal hygiene. The trick is getting the right things into the bag. "Compact" and "user-friendly" are the key. What I had on hand: canned chili with peal-top lid, tuna packet, granola bars, canned or bottled drinks, plastic spoon, paper bowl, peanut butter. Canned meat would be good too. Ideas for Hygiene: deodorant, wet wipes, soap, shampoo, (small packages of everything), tooth brush, toothpaste, floss, razor, shaving cream, comb or brush, lotion, cologne.
On my first two I wrote a simple note (that read, "Have hope! God will provide for you. He loves you", but we plan to include a verse of hope and encouragement as well. I explained to the kids about why we are making these and let them know that they can help come up with ideas too. Anyoneto pass them to the homeless. Who knows how it will go. But it’s a start!

the Homeless

2009-11-15T07:05:00.000-08:00

On one of my first few trips to New York City we went through Grand Central Station to get downtown to see Rockefeller Center and Times Square. It was New Years day and freezing cold like I've never known in my life. That is a whole story in itself that I'm not trying to tell right now. On our way back to New Jersey (where Will's family lives) we had to sit in Grand Central Station for awhile to wait for our train. It was there that I saw a man ask a lady for money because he was hungry. She gave him a $5 bill and a lecture about how she wanted to see him spend it on food. He walked to the McDonald's (in the station) and bought food. He came back and sat near her and she commended him for buying food with the money. At the fresh age of 20 I remember thinking, "what else would a hungry homeless person buy?" Surely food would rank above all else! Now I always wonder if I were to give a hungry homeless person money, what would they really spend it on? Not that I haven't done it despite not being able to know.
When the weather gets colder (or maybe it's because with the holidays approaching people are likely to be more giving) hungry homeless people stand on busy intersections in our city holding signs asking for food and help. It always feels awkward as the kids and I ponder what to do. Then, last night while I was reorganizing the food pantry (where I stock my rockin deals) it dawned on me! Why not make emergency food kits for the homeless? More to come on these and how we will package, arrange, and give them out.
But for now here are some pictures from our October Fall fun:

23 Days of Christmas

2009-11-11T20:43:00.000-08:00

I feel like I just really need to post this. I have made a commitment for the month of December, but I feel myself talking myself out of it, due to the craziness of the approaching holidays. Not that anything has gotten crazy YET, I just feel it coming on. But I don't want it just to be like that...it should be about giving. Which is what I decided a month ago, when I felt God lay it on my heart to bless my neighbors this holiday season. Therefore, I have decided to give each of my neighbors a baked good each day in December. I have 23 neighbors, so I am starting the 1st and going through the 23. The 24th I will be busy cooking for my family. I'll let you all know how it goes, but I truly encourage you to do something similar. Maybe baking for just a few neighbors? Or, maybe God will call you to something entirely different, but just remember it's about the JOY of giving (or so I am reminding myself) not being overwhelmed by it!

New Commitment

2009-11-09T14:03:00.000-08:00

I am making two new commitments to myself. I am sharing them with you because I feel if I share them, then I should probably *DO* them.
#1 update my blog weekly. facebook is really using up my free internet time, so I am going to switch over to blogging during that time. hopefully, it works out. i will continue to answer on FB, as it is sent to my email, but don't plan on reading everyone else's posts, at least not regularly.

the first three pictures were taken at Norfork Lake, Mtn Home, AR - Labor Day weekend

Teaching her to operate the vehicle:

commitment #2: no fighting. apparently we do this more than we realize, so hopefully we can cease fire.

Montgomery Bell State Park

2009-10-27T08:02:00.001-07:00

We had been there once before, but this time drove to another area where SURPRISE! there was more to the park than we had thought! I would love to spend more time hiking this area and there are GREAT TRAILS to be hiked!

http://www.stateparks.com/montgomery_bell.html

keeping me on my toes

2009-10-24T21:15:00.000-07:00

No one wants to be lukewarm in their faith, even though it may disguise itself as being a much safer, calmer place to be. When that happens though, there are generally three subsequent events: 1) staying lukewarm for indefinite period of time 2) self-motivating oneself to find the lost passion 3) a good boost into passionate faith by another source, be it a frustration, something through another person, or a challenge.
I guess any of these three can happen to me, but I usually get a boost from somewhere.
Of my kids, Tyler is the one who challenges me. He questions everything and I am amazed at his logical trepidation. Josh has always just accepted and trusted what is told him (this can be a negative thing at times), but Tyler really keeps me on my toes. I think he truly believes in God, as I sense his wonder and amazement of Him. But, there are times that he openly challenges the "what if?" or the "but how?"
Most recently he said, "I don't get it. If we can't see God, how can we believe in Him? How do we know He is there? And, if He is able to be everywhere at once, then why can't He just appear to each of us so that we are no longer confused?"
Wow. Okay.
My response (totally winging it- such as what happens with these sorts of things): "Those are great questions Tyler. I've wondered them too. Right now I'm being reminded of when Jesus appeared to His Followers after the resurrection. He told Thomas, 'you see me and you believe. how blessed are those who believe in me without seeing me.'" I probably jumbled it up, but I think it made sense. How much faith kids have! And yet for some, they question faith altogether. Just like adults, if I can't see it how do I know it's there. That challenges me to wonder all over again, who is this God I serve? And I definitely begin to feel passionate, which totally ROCKS.

September and October

2009-10-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

Well, we all got wet that game, but no one was as muddy as Tyler!

On the day of Football Jamboree:

Asleep on the 2 minute ride from our house to the grocery store:

Cheese smile:

She literally put her glasses on TO fall asleep (which happened right after I snapped this picture with my phone:

The rainbow over Lana's house after our gathering:

Trying to shoo the cat out of our truck before we leave!

The best temperatured day EVER:

At Joshua's football game:

My new friends' blogs

2009-09-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

I have all of these "ideas" that I want to implement and do and never actually get around to. But lately I've been reading two blogs that inspire me. These ladies actually DO the things they blog about! They motivate me! I hope to one day be able to do some of these great things, but for now I love gleaning their ideas!
The first is my friend Kim, from MOPS. She does CRAZY stuff, like sewing and quilting. She is quite energetic and always has a "project" going on. Not only that, she is HILARIOUS to read. I may not be able to do all of the cool things she does (and yes, she has two preschoolers and a home-based business) but I am sure amused when I read about her adventures in life doing them. http://trippfamilyonline.blogspot.com/

The second blog I received a link to from the House2House email newsletter (designed for simple/house churches). It is written by a lady named April, who I have been communicating with off and on through email as well as reading her blog. She has super GREAT ideas for children's involvement in home church activities and worship. The best part is that these ideas can involve both adults and children and the adults benefit from them just as much as the kiddos do, naturally ;) Check her blog out at: http://withthekids.wordpress.com/

Over the summer and through our lives

2009-09-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

These are photos that tell stories of what we did and what happened over the summer here in our neck of the woods.

For my birthday Will brought me flowers and we LOVED to smell them:

My favorite summer dress for Brielle:

Creative back porch art:

Say cheese:

Well, Shadee lived downstairs and out back for the past 1 1/2 years (she's 9 now) and then I watched Marley & Me http://www.marleyandmemovie.com/ and that was it for me. We gave her two baths and some time getting used to us, but the kids LOVE her being back upstairs.

Brielle and her cousin Archer on Grandma & PopPop's door step:

Say cheese again, Joshua's helping put her shoes on:

More to come! I just have to gather my thoughts!

reflecting on the art of enjoying unscripted parenting

2009-08-13T06:11:00.000-07:00

I can see many reasons why life has been designed to be shared with other people. The most recent: conversations. Without a recent conversation that I had with a fellow mom of three, I might not have pondered the following: How to enjoy unscripted spontaneous moments of fun with your children! I use the word unscripted because most of a moms busy day to day verbal instructions are pretty predictable.
“Let’s brush your teeth.”
“Okay, c’mon let’s go.”
“Where is _________?”
“Ugh, we’re running late.”
“Time for _________”
“Clean up your toys first.”
“One more bite!”
I could go on and on………and on. But these short phrases repeat themselves all day long, generally speaking. But “unscripted” is where we moms just don’t really know what is going to happen. We have to let our guard down. We have to be adventurous. We have to boldly go where we’ve not gone before. That scares a lot of moms, including me. Why? I’m not sure but I think we may think that our kids are going to become w i l d if we let them think we aren’t in “charge” and we must keep our serious faces on all times. Oh sure, it’s okay to smile, even laugh, but to just jump off of a cliff blindfolded? Wait. Is that what I’m talking about?
So, in reflecting on how and when these moments occur (which happened the next day after our conversation), I resolved to be more aware of them. Then what? Well, that is of course the tricky part, because it is UNPREDICTABLE. I’m sure that most of the time I totally miss these moments and blow their opportunities for fun with my kids. But I’m praying and trying to be more aware.
Take this morning for instance. I was attempting to make my bed. Now, sometime last week I had a crazy fun idea. We used to play this game with the boys when they were little and they loved it. I threw Brielle on our bed and fluffed the sheets up and down and “made it” with her in it. It WAS fun. Then. Now every time I try to make the bed and Brielle is nearby (where else would she be?) she tries to pull the covers up over her head from the sideline and proceeds to yank them off of the bed that I’m trying to make. It was getting SO frustrating! (these kinds of things happen quite often during my day which is why I’m certain that I “miss” out on a ton of golden opportunities).
I’m saying “No. Leave it alone.” She’s laughing, tugging, messing it up.
“Ughhhhhhhh.” I say.
“Hahahahaha,” she goes.
I stop. I stare at her. I remember. Conversation. Reflection. Here’s my moment.
I pick her up and toss her onto the bed. Covers fly. She squeals with delight! I “make the bed.” Her blanket covered figure squirms with laughter as I ask, “what happened to Brielle?” and proceed to find her. I lay down and giggle with her. She wants to do it again. We play this way for awhile, and I think she’ll never want to stop. Laughter music. Fun sounds. Eventually we will get tired.
“Okay, last time,” I announce. (ugh oh!)
Last time.
“Want juice?” I ask.
“Juice?” she answers.
“Okay, lets make the bed then.” I show her how to “pat, pat” it down.
“Juice?”
And we’re off. Filled with the fun we had, and I couldn’t believe she didn’t demand a single thing of me for at least the next hour!
I also couldn’t believe I almost missed that moment with her.
Sometimes I feel so pulled in many different directions - all of them with seem to be worthy of my attention: as a wife, mommy, homemaker, or whatever God calls me to be for Him at the moment, and even for myself (whether with selfish motives or not). But today I realized that while my children’s antics seem to be something that I either get stressed out by, or feel like I need to be the “Mom in Charge” of - it is not always so. They are actually calling me out of my scripted roll, not for their neediness of my fun with them, but to bless ME. These unpredictable moments are for my blessing. Mine! I never usually think of it like that. And they are random gifts from God. I cannot destine them to happen. I can plan the best, most fun, most exciting venture for my kids, but nothing will feel like the joy God can give us rolling around on an unmade bed laughing, tickling, and hugging or whatever it is. It’s like a surprise when we least expect it. Only we have to remember to open it, or we’ll not get to enjoy it.
So, it turns out that what feels like jumping off of a cliff blindfolded is actually more like soaring on wings like eagles. Who knew this? Um………..God.

Refrigerator Pickles

2009-08-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

7 C. unpeeled sliced cucumbers
1 C. diced green peppers
1 C. sliced onions

Make a brine with:
1 C. vinegar

2 C. sugar
2 t. salt

1 T. celery seed

Mix vinegar and sugar. Do not heat. (do this before slicing the cucumbers as it takes a while to dissolve). When sugar is dissolved, add celery seed and salt and pour over sliced cucumbers. Store in refrigerator in covered container. Let stand 24 hours before using. There doesn’t seem to be enough brine, but the liquid rises over the next 24 hours, so just watch it do its thing in the fridge. Also, I halved this recipe since my cucumber vines are only producing 3-4 usable cucumbers at a time. I also didn’t have a jar large enough (even for half of the recipe), so I split it into 2 containers. I also used a red onion, not sure if that makes a difference in the overall taste or not.

Reaping what we sow

2009-07-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

I picked my very first home-grown tomato today. I can’t wait to eat it. I would possibly re-organize dinner around it, but it is only a roma, and not big enough for all five of us.
The garden is a lot of maintenance. I do like it, but it is hard with the bugs and having to keep such a close an eye on Brielle out there. I do recommend goggles. More than once I’ve been hoeing along and something (dirt?) flew up into my eye unexpectedly. Weeding is like exercise: it’s hard to get started with it, but once you get going it can become addicting. I do a lot of thinking in the garden. That surprised me, even though it sounds cliché. There is so much truth about weeds and growing, harvesting and planting that I feel like every once in a while I get what Jesus was talking about, only he makes it seem more relevant for me now. Especially in relation to parenting. I need to put down the straw but that makes it harder to get to the roots of the weeds. The neighborhood kids seem more interested in the garden than anyone, besides myself of course. They eat the strawberries out front, and help me pick the lettuce in the back, which I make them take home with them. I often wonder what their parents think. But I think it’s good for everyone. Planting seeds. Get it?
Although this is the first year that we did not coach or have a child playing baseball, it seems it didn’t slow our summer down one bit. I feel like we are busy every day. Well, we are. At least every other day. I am now on the Steering team for MOPS (don’t ask me what “steering” means-- I keep forgetting to ask someone). It’s the group that plans and works on all things MOPS. I was so nervous about taking on another volunteering opportunity. I felt overwhelmed with the new Mom2Mom program just taking off, substituting at the preschool, and managing my home & family time. But, as it turns out, it seems to be a good thing all around. There are these really wonderful ladies on this team and they are committed to serving, encouraging, and equipping other moms to use their God-given talents for His glory. It’s very exciting. I went from being nervous about taking on more stuff to nervous about my new position. So many times thoughts of incompetence surface. The theme for the upcoming year is Together on Planet Mom. Not to give anything away, but they decided to do this SuperMom theme. It took me a while to get on board with the idea…but this thought keeps resurfacing: the Villain. Every super hero has an arc enemy, someone opposing his/her efforts to save someone or do good for the world. As a mom, I feel like no super hero, but I am called to safe guard and protect my family. To help them reach full potential is much more challenging when I’m constantly battling the evil villain: Satan. I’m am so SUPER glad that God is the Source from where I get my strength and power! He is the Ultimate Hero, the one I look to to know how, when, what, and why. It is more like a challenge and adventure than a monotonous frustrating battle. Sometimes I just don't even feel up to the fight, but I know that God already has the VICTORY won. That's SUPER-reassuring!
Update on the garden: I actually have cucumbers, peppers, zucchini, and some unknown vine growing very well in the garden too. I thought the unknown vine might be cucumbers initially…however, I have never seen cucumbers that look this fuzzy. I am no expert in vegetable growing, so I have no idea. I do know that we did not plant this one though, so maybe it’s a surprise! (my current guess: watermelon) I did put the hay down after weeding, it wasn't so hard. I have pulled of more tomatoes and zucchini since then as well and I'm almost certain I'm growing watermelon.
Why does the 3 & 4 hour bread ALWAYS fall in my bread machine? I’ve yet to figure this out. SO, I stick to 1 hour bread or make dough that I can use for rolls and such. Every once in awhile I’ll try again (like today) with a new recipe. It falls. Every time. Even worse, it smells so delicious I know that it is just a big tease!