If it grows...

Oh yeah I know I have little faith. But...if you'd killed as many houseplants as I-well, so would you too doubt that your garden could produce something worthy of eating. BUT since I have PEOPLE who know what they are doing, there is some sense of hope within. I may have the faith of a mustard seed, but that means this could be HUGE, right? :)

I'm ready:

This picture was taken when gardening seemed like a fun, easy thing to do. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Try digging, shoveling, digging, and shoveling for HOURS and not even feeling like you'd accomplished much. Ah, well, the first year is probably the hardest, I guess. Next year maybe it will be easier. Here's hoping!

Homemade Bang

Photos

sweetheart

my three

waiting for Spring...

feeding baby:

knowing no limits:

Camping List

You may think I am crazy. But I am So ready for Spring!!!! I am so ready that I already have a camping PACKING list, reservations in Indiana, plans to camp in KY, TN, and maybe even AR this summer!!! I also have seeds to plant in my FIRST EVER GARDEN!!!
Don't get me wrong...I am still enjoying the cool fresh air, and even sometimes brisk and cold, but nevertheless refreshing wind on my face in in my lungs. But when I see the chance of buds on trees and birds exercising their vocals I get EXCITED! I am enjoying no bugs, no humidity, and less business right now....
but I'm still writing my packing lists!!
If you're excited, read on and ADD anything you think might help:

water shoes
rain ponchos
outdoor picnic-type blanket
sunscreen
bug spray
citronella candles
long lighter
lighter fluid (just in case)
newspaper to start fire (twigs are usually gathered around campsite)
firewood and ice can be bought at camp store
travel high chair
plastic baggies and a few clothes pins
fan
beach towels - 1 per person (use the same one 4 everything)
line - for towels/clothes
trash bags (2-3)
hammer
citronella candles
lantern, flashlights (with new batteries)
tarp (to go under tent)
pack-n-play, crib sheet, blankets
blow-up mattress
pool float for Brielle
sleeping bags, pillows, blankets
swimsuits, hats, a few swim toys, life jacket
1 basketball, 1 volleyball (large orange), 1 wiffle ball and bat
smallest hand pump ever
Frisbee, cards, dice
aluminum foil
cooking spray
can opener
skillet
sos pads
1 gallon of water
BBQ spatula and tongs
metal sticks for hotdogs/marshmallows
small pot for boiling water (4 coffee/cocoa, oatmeal)
1 roll of paper towels, 1 roll of toilet paper or box of tissues

When I taught her

This was the day I actually taught Brielle to feed herself. She did it the right way! Now, she no longer does it this way... she insists on holding the spoon from the tip top and dips. It's very messy her way.

30 things about me:

I am cheating...pulled this off of facebook for my blog...changed a few things though.

1. I took violin lessons in 4th and 5th grades.
2. I have lived in 4 states: AR, KS, MO, AR (again), and TN
3. All three of my children were born in different counties.
4. I love grilled cheese, potato chips, and strawberries!
5. Dolphins are my favorite animal.
6. My hobbies change frequently, but when I am “into” something I focus on it wholeheartedly.
7. I hate cleaning bathrooms.
8. The only video game I ever play is Dance Factory.
9. I can’t stand rejection.
10. For my 21st Birthday I got a dolphin tattoo.
11. I used to gasp that women would breastfeed their babies past the 12-month mark. Yet, at 14 months, we are still going strong.
12. It wasn’t until 6 years ago (when I was 26) that I began searching for The Way of Life in the Light.
13. That same year I got my eyebrow pierced, kept it in for almost a year and regret having took it out ever since, despite the ongoing infections. (that has nothing to do with #12 though)
14. I read 2-5 books simultaneously.
15. I never have the time to read anymore, so I rarely get through a book.
16. Softball is my favorite sport. I haven’t played in 14 years, but I did coach baseball three years in a row.
17. I ran a daycare out of my finished basement for five years, then taught preschool for another five.
18. The first and third times I got pregnant occurred while I was trying to work towards a bachelors degree in English, 1st at ASU-MH, then at APSU. I still hope to get a degree…in something…someday.
19. I got my first job at age 15, manually checking out groceries at Ozark Foods. I was paid 3.65 per hour. I never received a pay stub and despite the fact that I worked the same hours every week, my paycheck amount would often fluctuate. I never questioned this.
20. I love to bake. I bake cakes, cookies, and breads. In fact, most of my free time at home lately is spent in my kitchen trying new recipes.
21. A few years ago we discovered that our favorite family activity is CAMPING.
22. I avoid confrontational situations like the plague.
23. I really do clean dirty cloth diapers in the toilet and I wash my hands A LOT!
24. I love libraries and go to ours almost weekly.
25. House plants will generally not survive in my care.
26. I am rarely, if ever, bored.
27. Sometimes the highlight of my day is showering.
28. I am awakened 3-6 times (on average) every night.
29. Skee ball is my favorite carnival game.
30. My oldest child turns 13 next week!

The Amish Cook

Every once in awhile I will come across a book that I can't put down. Mostly those are the incredibly well-written and intense fiction novels by those rare authors who captivate so well. Usually they are not non-fiction. And NEVER have they been a COOKBOOK - of all things! But here I am, toting my library-borrowed cookbook around for two days trying to read it in between chores and child care. I expected to get some good Amish recipes when I checked it out on Friday, but instead I got this autobiography of this Old Order Amish grandmother who I felt was teaching me all about cooking, gardening, and even life. What an eye-opener! And how refreshing too! I know that I gained much new insight into the plain life that I have always admired, but realistically thought was far too much like bondage. There is also a third side, I'd not yet considered which was revealed to me in The Amish Cook. I cried near the end. I also wanted to try almost every recipe in the book just for the fun of it. I look around at all of the "stuff" we have, the technology, the conviences... and I really think "wow" sometimes I am so disconnected with what really matters. And I want to stop and really think about that.
Unfortunately, Elizabeth has passed...but her daughter has picked up where she has gone and it is posted on the web. http://static.record-eagle.com/2007/may/14amish.htm

Bread Machine Recipes

I love the new bread machine! (thanks Mom & Dad) It is blessing our whole family, which is wonderful. I know I’ve been bragging to some of you about some great recipes I’ve found on the web…and so here they are. Unfortunately, I am not sure where I found them at, so I can’t give those recipe websites their due nod.

HOAGIES (great for lunches or dinner sandwiches-I actually make 8 instead of 6 sometimes, they are quite large for my taste)

Hoagies for the Bread Machine
Makes: 6 hoagies Total Time: 3 hr Submitted by: Pond Lady
Category: Breads & Muffins Sub Category: Yeast Breads & Doughs
Ingredients:
1 cup warm water
2 tsp. sugar
4 tsp. oil
1 tsp. salt
2 3/4 cup flour
2 1/4 tsp. bread machine yeast
Preparation
Place ingredients in manufacturer’s order into the bread machine. Use dough cycle.When cycle is done, "punch" dough. Grease hands or spray with Pam as dough is very "sticky". Remove dough from bread machine and place on floured surface/floured waxed paper. Sprinkle a little flour on the top of the dough and "smooth" it over the top of the dough.Cut the dough into 6 equal pieces (Spray knife with Pam before cutting dough). Place dough pieces evenly spaced apart on a cookie sheet sprayed with Pam. Shape each piece of dough into an oval shape. With kitchen scissors, make a "snip" in the center of each roll, about 1 to 2” long and about 1/4” deep. Cover and let rise 20 minutes.Bake at 400 degrees about 20 to 25 minutes.

And the pizza crust:

Wait Family Pizza Dough (Bread Machine) Recipe #187415
This is a fabulous recipe I got from my in-laws...DH and I contend that it's the best pizza dough we've ever tasted! We've also had friends agree - everyone who tries it loves it! *preparation time includes time in machine* *uncooked dough does not freeze well, but cooked pizza/calzones do!*
by godsjoyfulkid
16 min 1 min prep
SERVES 6 , 2 pizzas
1 1/3 cups water
6 tablespoons margarine, sliced
1 egg
3 cups bread flour
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons yeast
DOUGH: Add first 8 ingredients to bread maker in order listed, (or however your machine says)select dough cycle.
At end of dough cycle, once dough has risen, dump dough onto floured board, knead, divide into 2 equal parts and let rest 10 minutes.
Spread dough on each of two greased pizza pans.
*This dough also makes excellent calzones, and also great cinnamon rolls -- or so they say!
PIZZA:.
Add pizza sauce, toppings of your choice, and cheeses.
Bake in preheated 400 F oven 15-20 minutes (rotate pans about halfway through cooking).
Remove from oven and let sit for five minutes before cutting.

Lastly, I was finally allowed to go out the Country Pantry, which is a Mennonite Store out on Guthrie Highway. VERY COOL! I’ve been reading Cindy Woodsmall’s new series taking place in the Amish/Mennonite communities, so it was all the more exciting for me. I hope one day to go to Lancaster, PA, that would be more exciting for me than most trips to other places, I do think. Ah, to live a TRULY simple life!

So, in my relationship to the new bread machine: I 80% love the smell of the rising and baking bread, 15% love to try new recipes in it, and 5% love to eat it! At least the rest of my family likes to eat it. I am so far only having great luck on the ExpressBake and Dough cycles. I found a great recipe for Hoagies and Pizza Crust. Will and the boys seem to love all of it. Brielle and I enjoy watching the bread maker do all of the kneading for us!

I realized yesterday that I have a hard time throwing out old calendars. So much is written on them of our lives! We certainly fill up those little boxes with a lot! I feel like I’m throwing away a recording of some kind, like a journal I wrote in or something. But it doesn’t matter. Because, alas! There is a new blank calendar hanging in its place, full of beautiful pictures of beaches, with little boxes just waiting to be filled.
Here’s to the New Year of 2009!

Also…I am reading this incredibly great book (when I can) entitled, The Shack. Read it if you haven’t! There are many new eye-opening perspectives within and I feel it is definitely deserving of anyone’s time.

Holiday Me

It all began when I thought I had forgotten my cell phone, woke Brielle up from her 10 minute nap, and realized I had really forgotten my Sam’s Club card…then proceeded to spend 5 minutes wailing about it in the car with Brielle smiling at me with a question in her eyes.
I realized I’ve changed.
Maybe it is what they say is a “season of life,” or maybe I’m different for good. I won’t know until years from now if I will resort back to my former ways or if some of these new things will stick around.
Regardless, as I rolled away from the Sam’s Club parking lot, kicking myself for believing everything was working out so well only an hour before, I thought about how I might have used to react. I think I would have rolled with the situation and deemed it simply “not meant to be” for that day. But I was really upset that it was not going how I’d planned! I was not in the Christmas spirit. In fact…as I started noticing more and more…I was acting completely different from previous Christmases. Here are some of the examples I’ve mentally noted recently:
Christmas wrapping: The former Holiday Me would meticulously choose just the right wrapping paper for the person the gift was intended. This years’ ME grabs the nearest wrapping paper and whatever presents that can be wrapped from that same cut. And scissors? well, ripping seems to work just as effectively. The old Holiday Me would cut off excess paper on gifts just so that it didn’t look to stuffy with paper on the ends of the wrap. This year: that is what TAPE is for people! Who knew? And if the wrapping paper was a little short on a gift? Well…that’s fine for helping people to KNOW where to start their ripping, right? J
Sensible. I think I’m becoming more logical.
I’ve also redefined speed-wrapping. It’s not surprising considering I have 2.5 minutes of free time before my 12mo-old either 1)fusses to be let out of her crib, or 2) walks over and SITS right on top of the present and wrapping paper, or 3) rips out all of the tape. Name tags? The old Holiday Me would pick out the perfect one for the present, one that matches both the gift and the receivers’ personality. This years’ Me: stick it on as fast as possible, don’t even look at it, write the name, and if the pen doesn’t work: engraving will.
I realized on December 13th that I hadn’t even made a Christmas card list! Last year I think I had them sent out by then. Yes, that was the same time I had a newborn baby. Why did I set my own standard so high? continue to shake my head in amazement. I think I sent out anywhere from 50-60 cards. It was extremely time consuming, but worth it (?). This year I really only sent out 20 cards. Really. Just 20. I decided to send out to: people who had already thus sent us one, anyone who gave Brielle a birthday present (I enclosed a thank-you note within), or anyone who I thought we might receive a card from, the faithful ones. If you are reading this and did not get a card from us, it’s okay: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! There you go! It’s just as thoughtful! I’m thinking of you! I really am! I considered sending you a card, I wondered if you would send us one, decided you may not, and loved you just the same. I’m still sending you Holiday wishes! They are just from my heart and I knew you’d understand. I tried to get a picture of the three kids in front of the tree to put in those 20 cards, but that was just like asking all three of them to hold their breath while standing on their heads at the same time: crazy impossible! So, I went with the very last picture of the session, which I thought simply told the truth. It wasn’t perfect or even close. Brielle had just tried to give Tyler “love” and bumped her head into his. He was flinching in anticipation of her return while trying to smile for me as Will & I said, “Awwwww.”
It’s us. It’s them. It’s reality.

The annual baking party that I have with myself - where I bake several kind of cookies, desserts, and cakes and package variety baskets for teachers, friends, and neighbors? Well… you guessed it! Didn’t happen. I did bake Galette cookies for a Cookie Swap with MOPS, that felt like more than enough baking! The boys’ teacher got about 5 of the same cookie in a small bag, and not even a “Merry Christmas” attached. Neighbors and friends? I think a hearty “HAPPY HOLIDAY” wave will have to suffice this year.
Then there was the Christmas party I didn’t have. I LOVE having a Christmas party! They are so much fun! But everything within me resisted it this holiday season! I couldn’t figure it out, who was I becoming? When I told my sweet husband, he asked, “What are you doing instead? Because I know you have something else in mind.” I have to give him credit for knowing how I am! I had decided to host a Gingerbread House decorating party for the kids. It seemed simple enough, but when I found myself racing through the final house assemblies (done a day in advance) in order to get outside before darkness settled on that weird 68 degree day, I realized a deformed gingerbread house was not just going to be acceptable. NOT in the Christmas spirit!!!
The party was actually sweet, fun, and creative for all of the sweetest children in my life, and I was glad I had decided to do it. But as I assessed this new holiday ME, I realized that my days of doing these innovative projects were teetering on going extinct. Poor Brielle, if so.
I used to so be concerned about presents for the children too: size, equal number of gifts, costs about the same. I couldn’t even say how it turned out this year, as I’ve yet to do the calculations, but since we are just having a simple small Christmas….I think it worked equally in a round about way. Or maybe not. Oh well, I think everyone will be happy and that is all that matters.
While I would have loved to get Will all of the things he desires and he would have loved to do the same for me, I think we both agree that any extra funds around our house need to go towards medical bills or home repairs and projects that are running far past their allotted time frames (house painting?). In fact, if I really could ask for a gift of any kind, I’m sure that SIX HOURS of UNINTERUPTED sleep would be top on my list right now. But I don’t expect to find that wrapped an under our tree this year. So, I’m just hoping to settle for a quiet holiday, maybe some candlelight and wine, soft holiday music and peaceful spirit. That sounds like celebration summed up in a sentence for me.
So, in keeping with this year’s Holiday Me, I’ll not even reread this and fix all of my many mistakes, even though I know I typed years’ and it’s year’s many times above. OH WELL> I’ll let it drive us all crazy for awhile!!!
For now, I’m done with all things Christmas, except the anticipation I share with my children over the event of the year, the Christmas parties we’ll be attending this next week, and the dishes I’ll be making to bring with us. Other than that, I’m not stressing about all of the other things I wish I’d thought of to do, and the many things that I intended to do and never did get around to. I forgive myself. I’m over it. Okay, it will bother me a little, but it has become obvious to me that this year the New Holiday Me has had little choice but to: Change.