It has been One Year...

The following pictures are recent, within the last few weeks, but the most recent (of Thanksgiving and Brielle's first birthday) I've yet to upload. Every milestone causes me to reflect on life with Brielle, and with the boys too, of course. This milestone, of her first birthday feels more significant than I expected it to. She is ONE now. That seems incredibly surreal. But it is true.
We had a wonderful holiday, we traveled to Arkansas to be with my family, we took Will's parents with us. Seven, in a SUV that seats...seven. It was squishy, but it worked. The food was SO GOOD. We ate and ate and ate and ate and ate......ugh, I can't even explain all of how much we ate. The last day there I was actually in pain from so much of that eating! It was time to go! lol Brielle's first birthday party was lots of fun, she was such a star, and I'll post those pictures as I get them (I didn't personally take any). She loved all of her gifts soooooo much! The following are actually pictures taken from home before we left, read more below them though....

We love to shop at Aldi:

Josh put the Santa hat on her:

While this blog is about our family and my musings...I can't help but say that I've really been thinking about other people so much lately. For example....a week and half ago our friend Tim's dad passed away...the memorial service was held yesterday...definitely have been thinking about them and keeping them in my prayers. Today is my own dad's birthday (Happy Birthday Dad!). Today is also the birthday of my good friend, Scarlet's first daughter, Daycie, who is celebrating in Heaven (Happy Birthday Daycie!). And I just recently learned that our friend Todd just got married in London (Congratulations Todd and Rebecca!) I think of friends of mine that I don't live near anymore, whether they have moved, or I have...or those I've lost touch with, or partial touch with. Last year, so many relationships I've been in were revamped with the amazing birth of Brielle. I thank God for that! and for His giving me new relationships as a result of her birth too. The funny thing is that on the way to AR I began praying for all of these people I think of, and I also prayed for myself, that God would give me rest on every side, and that He would enlarge my territory...the prayer of Jabez, right? Well...on the way home, I had indescribable peace about my life, my mission, my ministry, my purpose. Like everything just fell right into place the way God has planned it all along. It may be significant that it would come at Brielle's one year celebration milestone, or it may be that God was always prepared to answer if I'd only just have prayed about it. I didn't ask for specifics...I am just putting my faith in His plans...and He has given me a great amount of peace and comfort and purpose. For this and for everything I Praise Him!!!!

Receiving a Moment

This morning I was standing in the kitchen drinking my coffee and reading my Bible Study workbook when I heard Brielle’s soft laughter coming from the living room. I peeked around the corner (generally if she sees me, she gets up and comes to me) and there she was playing happily with her toys. I realized that this is rare, she usually only does that when there are a few people/kids around. My eyes started misting and I got all choked up! She was playing in a far more grown up way than she’d even done before…on her own. I was happy and sad at the same time. Seems like I’ve dreamt of these moments, getting pieces of my time back to me, and yet it’s hard to let go in ways too. Part of me wanted to run in there and sit down and play with her! Part of me knew that this was an opportunity to actually read the words on the pages of my Bible Study book! Torn, I choked back tears, knowing this was only ONE small step. I actually finished my Bible study chapter and of course Brielle wanted me in that clingy baby way, only ten minutes later. And at that time I was able to savor it instead of feeling slightly frustrated by it. Loving and letting go are such intricately woven parts of parenthood that it is sometimes hard to distinguish how they both work in together through the same threads. I’m certainly more aware of these little things this time around, and I’m learning to apply these life lessons to my tween boys. I’m relearning and experiencing things I’d forgotten, but with a different filter in my head this time. And I guess that is why I get a little emotional and choked up over something so small and yet so big, such as watching my babies grow. I thought this was adorable: Tyler and Brielle watching Josh do his basketball evaluations:

MOVE!

(picture borrowed from the Rathes' Hawaiian vacation collection)
Tim asked us last night if we could define a mountain that was in our way and name it.
Did you know that God says this about mountains:
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."Matthew 17:20
At first thought, I said my mountain would be the mis-perception of TIME. You see, when you have an out-of-the-home job, or are in school, you have time schedules to meet, breaks, class changes, lunch, and at some point you go home again. And it's all broken up to a degree of understanding and in relationship to and with time.
But when you wake up at an given time throughout the night (last night it was five times or so) and you never know quite when your day is going to begin (Saturday it was 5:40am, today 7:06am) or when you are going to get a break or a chance to *work, it gets quite confusing. My day, though somewhat predictable, can distort time in many ways. And I look at it, or back at it and wonder what of it? Did I take time for this? or that? Did I *make time? Or can one really do that? God makes time, He holds it in His hand. He gives it to us. You've heard "it is precious" or "it's a gift." So why does it sometimes seem like my enemy?
On further thought, those mountains could also be called "Mount Laundry" or "Mount Dishes" or surely "Mountain of BILLS" even "Mount List-of-things-to-do." Which would then turn into "Mountain of OVERwhelming ideas." These mountains need to get of my way!
Good thing that by Faith, I can ask God to move these mountains from my way and He will!

This morning I took a refreshing brisk walk in the cool autumn air: Praising God for giving me this life he has, this time to walk so freely, and no mountain to block my view of His Givingness to me.

Praise God, everybody!

Praise God, everybody! Applaud God, all people! His love has taken over our lives; God's faithful ways are eternal. Hallelujah!
Psalm 117 (The Message)

So, just yesterday I was telling a friend that I have these wonderful opportunities to pray for people. About 3-4 times a day I have to sit quietly still and nurse the baby down for anywhere from five to twenty-five minutes. It's a sacred time, and I love it. Since she doesn't even like for me to READ, I am forced to just sit still. Which has been very heart-revealing to me. I use this time to pray. Mostly for people in my life. But I feel like I haven't really spent a lot of time praising God for being Himself, so great and abundantly rich in love, and thousands of other things I could praise Him for.
So, lo and behold, I open up my Bible this morning to Psalm 117 (above). Perfect! I thought. This will get me started. Psalm 118 is just as great and even more elaborate, and I read through it twice. I set out determined to praise God all day! What could be better?
Well...it sounds great, but in reality everything began to go wrong. We rushed around to leave by 8:20 and I couldn't find my keys. ANYWHERE. Brielle pulled up to the table and spilled an entirely full travel mug of hot coffee all over the door entrance (she didn't get it on her-thank God!). And I literally thought, "I still have to praise God, don't forget!"
So we took a walk that I literally wanted to close my eyes to, the sun, the wind, my tears. I know, silly tears. Things go wrong. I know.
So, when Brielle took only a 21 minute nap, and I was beginning to rank this up there with one of the worst mornings ever, hence my high level of frustration at this point, I realized this:
Things could get even worse than this if I still continue to Praise God! (and also if I don't) but no matter what, He deserves my praise today. He is more than worthy than any meager praise I can offer to Him with my day. And no matter what happens, what may or may not, I am called to burst out of my current unlikely situation and PRAISE the One who I believe in!!!