My Life Today

This morning I went out to walk/jog at 6am. This is the scenery that greeted me:









I walked 3/4 of a mile, then jogged a full mile straight. That's the most I've ever jogged at one time. Unfortunately, it wasn't the best thing for my shin splints, and I didn't find that out until I returned home.
I was amazed by this beautiful SUNRISE! Isn't it just Glorious?

After my jog, I came home and spent too much time on my computer, while drinking my favorite coffee. Then we got it together and went on a bike ride. About a mile past our house we found these cute horses. Well, I'm not sure if they are ponies or miniature horses. Either way, they were cool! We rode on to Aldi:
$6.00 even for everything in my bike basket:




After Aldi we rode the bike over the bank. I rode it right up to the drive through (yes, I did!) to cash a check. It just seemed more logical than unpacking Brielle & the basket to go inside to do business. I didn't know what the teller would say, but she said, "Great day for a bike ride, isn't it?" Then we rode over to Walmart to get lunch meat, then home. I'd say we covered at least three miles on the bike. Below is Brielle at Tyler's dentist appt. (no cavities! yah!). She has to have the dinosaurs with the trucks because that is what makes them "Monster Trucks!" LOL!

Now today the plan was for us to ride our bike to Brielle's new preschool (more like a Parents' Day Out program) and turn in the paperwork. She was up all night last night, so I'm trying to get motivated. The weather just seems to irresistible though!
I was inspired to sort of "picture document" my day like this because of this blog: Walk Slowly, Live Wildly. LOVE IT!!!!

Thought to ponder: Full and Leisurely Life?

This past Saturday I finally made it down to the Clarksville Downtown Market. If you haven’t been there, you are missing out! Now, I have heard other newcomers to the area say they weren’t that impressed. (I’ve also heard some say the same about the Riverwalk.) It all depends on how you see it, but it is definitely better than nothing! I’ve meandered down there before, with unpeeled eyes, but this trip I felt like I really got it. I bought a small watermelon ($1), a green & red pepper (.33), a bar of soap ($4) that she assured would not cause the mosquitoes in my backyard to flock to me, a dz eggs ($2), and a bag of noodles (? admittedly, I was too busy talking), a loaf of sourdough ($3), and a whole grain muffin ($1) -the texture was unique, and that muffin made me feel good after I ate it! But better than spending less than $13 apprx. on all that, the main point is that I was able to support locals.
I rode my bike to Wal-Mart yesterday to get a gallon of milk and lunch meat for Will’s lunches. Now, we bought that bike back about 9-10 years ago, and Brielle rides in the same seat that Tyler (now 11) did when he was her size. The basket and lock I use were both given to us last year from a friend from MOPS who was moving to NYC from here and no longer needed it. They are quite handy! I like carrying the basket into the store because I know exactly what will fit into it while I’m shopping. I do wish I didn’t have to go to Wal-Mart (well, I don’t - I could go to Food Lion) but their prices are the lowest for deli meat. I spent a little less than $13 on a gallon of milk, a lb of ham and a lb of turkey. Ironically, the same I spent at the Downtown Market.
Yesterday the temperature was GREAT for a ride! We’d hoped to go sooner, but started baking bread and that requires a “bread-sitting” of sorts. Four o’clock was the busiest time of the day to go, so we ran in and out. It’s amazing how many people flock into Wal-Mart at the same time! Honestly, we were able to maneuver traffic more efficiently on the bike, and the breeze with the sunlight was downright exhilarating on the ride home! Despite the fact that it was more uphill on the way back, I seemed to not notice as much.
Now, I have done these things in the past, but my attitude seemed very different these times around. That may have something to do with the book I just finished: Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology by Eric Brende. In it, a couple moves to a remote “Amish-style” community and live without being connect to the “grid” as they say. It’s AMAZING! Maybe you have to be really fascinated with that sort of thing to love it as much as I did, but I absorbed that book! I really gained heaping mounds of information and realization about things like work ethic, necessities, socialization, and life. Time. Connecting. With nature, with ourselves, with people, and especially with God, the Giving Force of it all. In it he answers the question: How much technology is really necessary for a full and leisurely life?
I think what meant the most to me, that he never really comes out and says, but happens to live, is that we really have choices here. I think a lot of times we just thing “this is the way the world is going, how it is.” And we just accept it! Buy into it! Upgrade for it! Do we even remember it is a choice? It reminds me of when I searched for resources on natural birth. Most people didn’t know there are choices, and many still don’t care. (For example the cashier who thought ultrasounds were mandated by government when I told her I didn't have one.) But what is the cost? In giving ourselves over to the technology throne of making our lives supposedly easier, what price are we paying for just “going with the flow?” How much are we missing of the point? Of life itself?
Yes, I’m typing this on my laptop while my 2 yr old daughter watches a video on Netflix. So obviously, I’m not radically going to drop everything. Even in his book, Brende says that yes, some forms of technology are indeed helpful tools (okay, not netflix!). I am not sure I believe or agree with everything he writes. To be honest his education level far exceeds mine and that become apparent while I was trying to read his book and got lost, having to slow down and deliberately read. Unfortunately, I still didn’t always “get it.” But I got close on most of it. For me, practical implications may not mean extremity or drastic rehabilitation from technological withdrawals!
It may mean just slowing down and taking a look at what matters, what is time consuming, what produces “good” results. And “good” might need a little redefining!
This morning I went for a jog at 6:00am. As I rounded the corner behind the turn that leads to Wal-Mart I passed a couple who were carrying their groceries back home. It’s probably a ¼ mile walk just down that lone stretch. We cheerfully waved and shared our “Good Mornings!” Now, I already know that that kind of encounter is good and I dully note that getting out of the house without a covered contraption such as a car, is definitely a good start! But I’m still looking at the picture as a whole, and also at the little things that consume and consummate the “good life.” It’s going to take me a while to think on and process these things.
But like the Clarksville Downtown Market: It's a good start! And it's worth taking the time for.

Happy Summer!

I can’t believe this summer is nearly over!
Well, not exactly the “summer” but summer break from school. Summer weather, as we know it here in Middle Tennessee, could continue for another two to three months! Lately I have taken to waking at the sweet time of 5:45am and going on a power walk. I'm pushing myself and jogging off an on throughout the 2 miles and I love it! My only regret is not having done this years ago! To the right is a picture I snapped with my phone as my walk was just begining. I thought to myself, "I would not be seeing this glorious morning if I hadn't just gotten out of bed!" Somedays are more challenging than others, because Brielle still gets up 1-10 times a night....but it's just invigorating to go, and a ton cooler that time of day!
The boys will start school tomorrow. Josh, on to high school. Tyler, to middle school. Brielle, home with mommy, on to all of our daily activities. Many parents express concerns about their children getting enough socialization. I worry about this about....0% for Brielle.
As for this past summer, it was our first time in probably 7 years in (out of the 14 we’ve lived in Clarksville) that we did not get a pool pass. It turned out that this summer was a consistent 10 degrees hotter on a daily basis than last year. It was all fine though. We went during the ½ off times and took 3 or 4 trips to Tiebreakers during their ½ off hours of the day. We also went bowling (for almost free) all summer, and really all of that has given us opportunities to be well-rounded. Brielle loved everything about summer. As often as she could, she would run to the back yard to swing or jump on the trampoline. She has never once complained of the heat or mosquitos. Every evening she likes to ride her bike around the block. She loved anything water and put her all into whatever the idea was (especially if there were older children showing her "how to"). Just yesterday, she was insanely diving onto the slip-n-slid! Daring girl!
Next year, I plan to sign up Tyler for acting classes at the Roxy. I’ve always wanted to, but never wanted to make the time commitment. I’m going to have to force myself next year though, because he is just too much of a character to hold back. Josh has spent most of his summer playing basket ball in his free time. He made a few friends at the basketball camp through his high school and they have been playing quite a bit in front of the house. It’s very hot, so the fact that they still go out there impresses me.
We had a great time at the Myrtle Beach. Our hotel really was only $31 a night (insane, I know). It was small and faced the city, but really it wasn’t bad. We had many great days at the beach and we all loved it. We were blessed to have family & friends that met us down there. Those were great times! The hotel (Westgate) was clean and friendly and even though it was right in the heart of downtown MB, we didn’t feel overwhelmed most of the time. However, maybe our next vacation will be on a more secluded beach…on a less inhabited island?
I like my parents’ idea of driving to Colorado too!
We made two trip to Arkansas after we came back from South Carolina. The first was pre-planned and we went there to visit. My dad’s brother and sister had passed away while we were in SC. The following weekend we went back to AR for my uncle’s memorial service.
Arkansas is so beautiful this time of year. I’ll post some of the pictures I took while there.
We are playing softball again this season. I refer to it as the most fun/frustrating thing that Will and I are doing together right now. But, hey! We haven’t started on our kitchen floors yet!
Have a great rest of the "summer"!!!!!!!!!!!!



(to the left: the kids on the country dirt road that my parents live down in Arkansas)

In Loving Memory of Aunt Barb

The night (or morning rather- 1am) that I got the phone call from my mom letting me know that my Aunt Barb had passed was difficult. We were on vacation, staying near the beach on the far east coast. I bawled. I wrote. I used up a box of tissues. It was raw and understandably so. The next morning was confusing. I wondered if I should uproot our family vacation and drive back to Arkansas for her funeral or not. Who would that be for? It wouldn't matter to my aunt, she was gone. It would help my parents maybe? Then I decided that mostly I'd be going for me. For closure, and mostly for being around all of my family that knew her like I did - and knew how much she loved us. For those of us who knew how wonderful she was. Where I was, no one knew about her like that.

I was up early. My family still slept.

I decided I needed to sort out what I was thinking and so I grabbed my sandals and headed to the sand. It was cool that morning. Cool sand, clouds, sunrise. I stood and stared at the sunlight that shown through the clouds like a beacon of light, like God was telling me He was here, Aunt Barb was with Him. She was shining. It seemed like a sign. I began to walk South. Along the shore I found a shell that reminded me of her. The colors were like the ones she'd chosen for her house. The shell was broken and scarred across the back, but beautiful and strong still. I carried it and walked on, finding four more shells at different places that reminded me of her. I must have walked a 1/2 mile or so. When I came to an uncrowded place, I stopped. I turned each shell over in my hands and pondered why I'd picked it up, why it had reminded me of her so. One symbolized the Strength of her character. I thanked God for that of her, then felt myself throwing it into the ocean. Another made me think of her Caring and Tender nature. Thank you God. Launched into the ocean. Another, of her laughter and wittiness. Smiling, just hearing her laugh in my mind. And launch. Walking.

I still held the last and the first shells I'd found, not yet sure what they symbolized.

As I walked, I realized the first shell was Art, created by God Himself. Aunt Barb had so many artistic talents that she willingly shared with the world. Playing the guitar and singing, decorating a cake for a special occasion, making a dish, or evening organizing a family gathering. Bold with her talents, unafraid, and yet humble all the while. Priceless. I held on to that shell.

The last one was small and thin and frail. Like maybe how she was, or felt, near the end. But I didn't see her then; my last memories of her are sweet ones. The last shell was True. She was true to herself, to who she was and where she was from. She was honest and appreciative of seeing something in a new light, if it was true and good. That's admirable.

I felt much peace as I continued to walk back up the shore. It dawned on me that I'd just had a personal private memorial service for my aunt just then. And I felt in my heart that I'd honored her with God being with me, and He of course knew her/knows her far greater than I do.

About a week later I was thinking of her and pictured her young, like in her early 20's, singing and dancing and experiencing JOY to the greatness of one's capacity. I've seen people joyful in life, but never like that. I suppose that's why it's called Heaven.to my aunt barb...you will be dearly missed...

Nashville Trip of fun places to go!

Tiffany and Brielle are excited to be at the Downtown Farmers' Market in Nashville for the first time. This is a very cool place to go, you should check it out, especially since they have probably gotten larger since it is Spring. But don't go there BEFORE you check out Downtown Market here in Clarksville, TN!!!

Our first trip to Trader Joe's. They have the cutest shopping carts for kids with "parent controls" ha! They also have samples and the coffee was so good (and on sale) that I had to buy some, despite the fact that it was not fair trade.

Our first time to eat at Panera Bread. The broccoli cheese soup and bread impressed me, actually.

What would you miss?

Today through my window I saw this beautiful mom with curly dark hair walking up to my porch with a very handsome toddler riding high on her shoulders. I thought, "who is this?" Until I got to the door. "ASTRID!" I gave her a big hug and marveled of how well she glowed and how much her son had grown! She was visiting in town from Germany.

Back up about 2 years ago. I was strolling along out one hot day in May angry and frustrated. Another mom had set up a play date with Brielle and I and had backed out (again), so I angrily walked (strode) around the block thinking I was done trying to meet new friends with babies. Then, as I rounded the corner, lo and behold was a women pushing a baby carriage with a large dog was walking toward me while correcting her dog and shading her baby with the flippable European carriage. She seemed distressed a little too. We said hi and she took a look in my stroller at my sweet 5 month old. Brielle had extreme seborrhea dermatitis on her face (and everywhere else) and her little cheeks were blotchy red. Astrid was very concerned. She said she knew of some German products that could maybe help, and she knew of someone who had to change her diet since she was nursing and the baby maybe did not like her mother to eat certain things. We walked to my house, then we walked to hers. One day soon after she brought me the German products for Brielle's skin and a list of foods I could try eliminating. We seemed like two totally different people, but we were neighbors who got along okay, and we both needed a friend. So there we were. We ran into each other occasionally while walking, and we'd gotten together a few times, but we really didn't see each other a lot over the next year. I knew she was planning to move back to Germany, but she was going through a frustrating time, so I don't know when she exactly left.
But she still had my phone number and she still knew where I lived, of course. So, she called a few times and we hoped we could get together while she was in the U.S. But I was still surprised to see her, nevertheless!
We talked and talked about all that had changed since she'd moved in the last year. We talked about the differences between Germany and the U.S. She told me a few things she had on her "wish list" to buy while she was here.
Then, I asked her the BURNING Question: "So, all of what you have in Germany, what do you miss from the U.S. most then? What is here that is not there."
"Friendliness. Kindness. Nothing you can buy, just conversation. People that will share their time and care about yours. That is what I miss most."

She is so honest. I certainly didn't intend to blog about it when I asked her, but I really truly think that what she said is worth pondering to me. Do I take these things for granted all day long? People who are friendly and kind and will talk with me. Probably, yes. Do I give others kindness as freely as I've been given the time and ability to? No.

God, thank you for giving me a neighbor who has enlightened me as much as Astrid has. Thank you that she chose to come visit me while she is back in the States for the week! Thank you for the crazy ways that you work while we are in the midst of not understanding.

ps-she loaded us down with those wonderful German products for Brielle's skin too. How sweet was that? It was way too much and she says, "I was not sure if it would be enough."

The Great Rain Out 2010

Friday
8:30am - Weather Channel predicting 80% chance of RAIN, some heavy on Sat. Severe storms on Sunday
(the plan to go camping on the 1st Ever Ladies Camping trip is still ON) 10 ladies going is now down to 8 though.
10:00pm - Plan may change. A poll goes out by email to have an indoor campout @ Tara's.
1:51pm -I wonder, "should I still bring the grubby clothes I packed and bring my camping chair anyway?"
Donna suggests this could be an annual event if it goes well (she and Tiffany have Co-Coordinated this trip)
2:51 - read official email that the location has been changed to Tara's
(should call Amelia)
4:30pm - called Amelia & Kelly B. because they are two that don't consistently check email

Saturday
4:00am - First Storm arrives
10:00am - has been raining nonstop for the past six hours - forgot to print verses and still need to make more necklaces for the "KNOW/NO" game
1:15pm - some of us meet at Big Lots to follow each other out to Tara's
1:45 - head out to Tara's, get lost, make it anyway. It has not stopped raining yet.
2:15 - Those of us who are at Tara's (Tara, Amanda, Donna, Kelly, Tiffany, & me) ride out the Barn to check out the loft as an option for sleep and/or devotional. It looks rustic and good, but not safe for a baby, and we know our precious Eliana is coming, who is just shy of her 1st birthday. It also seems like a long haul over there, even though it is jut across a field that hosts a flooded road/pathway. It sounds like a great option, but do we want to haul? We can't decide. We consider it for morning devotional possibly at the very least.
2:50 - back at the house we start the "Negative/Know" game (yes, name changed) with the necklaces
3:01 we are welcomed to camptrip 2010
3:02 opening prayer (lol)
3:07 - Tiff explains the prayer non-hike and we all disperse to go spend time alone with God.
4:30 (or so) - Kelly E (with Eliana) and Anna (with junk food) arrive safely after their detour
4:45 - Amelia arrives (is this right? I can't remember)
5:00 - Start cooking exquisite meal (hot dogs in a frying pan) Hey, it wasn't bad!
6:30 - Still raining constantly with heavy rains during the quite frequent storms
Amanda starts us out on a game called "Ha Ha Ha" We laugh enough to burn off some of the calories from the hot dogs and junk food.
6:50- next game "Follow the Leader" (some of us are better than others at this one that is for sure!)
7: 15 - next game (Amanda has tons of these up her sleeves, obviously) "Mafia" Crazy game that reminds us of clue and I'm horrible at this one too (am I good at any games, I wonder?)
7:30 - Lana arrives making it now ten of us there
8:00 - We snack more and it becomes obviously clear that the "No/Know" game has dominate players, so we award them their prizes for 1st and 2nd places (Congrats to Amanda for 1st place and Tiffany for 2nd) Everyone gets their own necklace to keep as souvenir from this camp out. To my delight some people like them and even wear them after the game is over.
8:30 - Anna leads us in worshipping our King with our songs
9:00 - Tara starts us out with a devotional thought and then the floor is opened to share. It has not stopped raining or sporadically storming. We share, then discuss why it is that we share. Then we go deeper, because no one is going home.
11:00 - Break. Then gather back around the candles
11:30 - For the first time in my life (that I recall) I laugh and cry during the SAME prayer! Wow.

Sunday
2:20AM - First group (five people) goes to bed. Who knows when the other five go to bed, because I was in the first group. I'm not sure if Tara ever went to sleep, I seem to recall her moving about during the night.
7:00 - Lana leaves; I feel exhausted.
7:30 - I sit up and think which leads to praying.
I end up going downstairs to hang with the only person I hear awake, Eliana (and her momma, Kelly E." I enjoy this sweet morning time with them.
8:00 - go upstairs where some are stirring and sipping coffee (thank you Tara).
I run to the coffee pot and guzzle down two cups while starting to cook the bacon. Discover Tara's stove is more advanced than my laptop. Tiff starts on the pancakes. Then we all eat.
10:15 - early bird devo and communion (by Donna) where we share our favorites stories and remembrances of Jesus, our Beloved.
11:00 - Clean up, pack up. Some of us make cards while others play another one of Amanda's bottomless stock of games.
12:45 - leave for Guadalajara
Rain has NEVER stopped.
Amelia's vehicle needs help starting then Anna's van gets stuck in the mud. Thank goodness Matt (Tara's husband) had just returned! Some of us have already left and we don't even know this is happening.
1:30 - Lana is already there with a table. Amelia drives home instead of eating. The water in the Cumberland River is almost to the restaurant. Driving is horrendous, but we have no idea that within 24 hours Riverside Drive will be completely flooded and covered by the overflow of the Cumberland. It will set record level highs, five to six feet above what it has ever been.
2:30 - Group picture (can someone crop Amelia in?) Hugs all around. Everyone heads home.
4:15 - The rain stops. God has graciously shined His mercy on each of us, individually and together.

I love you ladies, for all that you are, and all that you are not. I have grown because of you and your willingness to grow too. I thank Him immensely for you.

Ladies' Camping Trip

Yesterday morning I woke up and looked around me. I was so tired. I began to recall last night and early this morning. Laughter. Tears. Time alone with God. Time together with great friends who are also my sisters. Everything was quiet. I rarely get quiet. I looked at these women, all asleep, all beautiful. All of us incredibly broken, yet restored. Today was a new day, a fresh start, a deliverance in many ways. God brought us through an amazingly fun and deep time through which He displayed His talent at perfect planning. Like riding a wave, not knowing how it might go, we crashed into His hiding place, His arms. And it sealed the bond. Thank you Jesus.

the unexpected fall

It is amazing what a person can learn in 24 hours. Yesterday, I slipped and fell on the way into Big Lots. It had just begun to rain and it looked like a downpour was about to follow. I started jogging, Will & Tyler ahead of me. I was laughing at myself.
Until I hit the slick ramp before the entrance in to the store.
I went down on my right knee. My left ankle twisted in confusion and I felt my right quadricep muscle tear. I didn't want to move it hurt so bad. But since Will informed me that the clerks were staring at me I moved to the side, super mad that that had just happened. I hobbled around the store with the cart to aid me, but I wanted to go home. We stopped at Walgreens and I thought I could hobble in and use my few coupons, but as soon as I got out of the truck I could barely stand on my left ankle.
We came home and I looked up both injuries on the Internet. RICE for both (Rest, Ice, Compress, and Elevation). I began doing that. Will had to help me up when I needed to use the bathroom. My left ankle hurt so bad that I had to put most of my weight onto him to help me. When I sat back down I thought, "I can't live like this for however long!" "I can't do anything!"
I tried to think of things that I could do, but I kept getting frustrated at how badly I was hurt.
An hour or so later I limped outside to sit on the porch. Will helped me back in and I asked him, "what am I going to do?" He smiled at me and said, "It's going to heal. You're going to get better. It just takes time." I felt like he was crazy! How fast could this possibly heal so that I could get around on my own? I cried silently a little.
After awhile I began to really focus on the the good things I could think of, and what I really could do during my time of rest. Here are a few:
1-my legs still work and so do my arms, hands, and senses
2-I have lots of helping, caring, and sensitive people in my home that are my family
3-this is NOT the worst thing that could have happened
4-we could play a board game
5-I can read a book
6-I can (and did) read short stories of laughter to my kids
7-I can type and connect with others on my laptop
8-it feels nice to relax next to a window that has a nice breeze flowing into it
9-I still have free song credits that I can download
10-I know God will use this experience
I think that in some ways I can relate to others who get hurt now. I know I can appreciate the things that I took for granted being able to do. And I can observe and delight in my family members more than before. Also, it's been amazing to witness God's speedy healing. Yesterday, I thought walking would not be an option for awhile. Today I am able to get around on my own. And it hasn't even been 24 hours yet, honestly.

Beautiful Girl