I think that I seriously fall in love again every day. She’s just the cutest smartest little thing! And she SO time consuming! Yes, the normal things: she’s crawling everywhere and getting into everything (safety and comforting the bonks), she needs to be fed, her diaper changed, a nap, etc… But she’s time consuming in other ways too! Starting with just how much fun she is to play with these days! She loves to dance to “her music,” play peek-a-boo, and pretend chase. The week after she learned to crawl (which was two weeks ago and at 8 ½ months old) she learned how to go up the stairs, which is a pretty fun game and good exercise too. Then there are all of the pictures and video recordings that I feel compelled to catch of all of these cute and wonderful moments! There are books to read, lullabies to sing, and baths to take. It’s all too much fun, and while I love it, it can be tiring and she most often will prefer her brothers over me for some real action! Then there are moments that I just observe without wanting to be caught observing (because she will most certainly stop whatever it is and crawl over to me). They are the moments that I can see her brain working, thinking, knowing, wondering….and I see her act in result of what she’s thinking, or move on. And I feel like I’ve been given privy to this amazing discovery, this creation who miraculously grows and thinks and feels and knows. Why am I so fortunate? I know, I know, not the same question I ask after five middle of the night feedings and scores of poopey diapers. But this smile, this laugh, this amazing brilliance that emanates from such a small little being, it only becomes more astounding each passing day. As she also learns how to let her frustration and dislikes be known, in new ways, it only adds to my admiration of her (so far! that is likely to change one day soon). And while she consumes so much of my day in these ways, and sometimes I do admit to needing a break, most days I just simply take it all in. This time now is fleeting. Gone are the days of colic and the frustration of breastfeeding. Gone are the times of sitting her down (even to just use the bathroom!) and there she would stay. Gone are the days where she couldn't be consoled. Gone are the moments when she wouldn't grab anything in site or try the food out of our hands! And so much more! Already gone. So now too, these are the moments of now, which will one day be gone. One day she will not crawl. She will walk, run, skip. She will not fall asleep nursing in my arms. And so I hold her just a little longer after she falls asleep. Because one day she will not fit exactly so as she does today. And so yes, I do make her more time consuming than she is a lot of time. But ask me if I would like to do it differently, and I'll say that if I did I would already be doing it that way.
When I see her strength, her bones, her skin, her development (both physically and mentally) I am amazed at the wonder of God’s creation. For nine months He formed her in the womb, and for the past nine months He has formed her on the outside of the womb, full of love and nurturing care, given us the nutritious milk He designed, and by His hand, He has grown her as He has seen ought. These thoughts often prompt me to see the older boys as such as well. While they are not growing at quite the speed of Brielle (which I suppose could be argued since puberty may be setting in) they are certainly growing! And this is a special time in their lives too! A time that will never return to us. A time that should be lived, touched, felt, and shared. Fortunately with them it doesn't feel as immenent to capture and record each milestone. But it does feel almost near urgent to share it with them, listen to them, and be with them (physically and mentally). So much that a baby teaches me about my older boys, and so much that my older boys have taught me about a baby.
God is so infinite in His wisdom.