Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Two days: No Facebook

It feels longer, honestly. At first it was hard. Facebook really puts you on a guilt trip. Why do you want to leave? (Yes, "I spend too much time on Facebook" is actually an option to choose.) It warns you that everything you've ever done on Facebook will no longer be there if you deactivate your account. Then it shows you pictures of five random people. It says, "Donna is going to miss you!" above her profile picture and below it says, "Send her a message." Like you are going to get so distracted you will just end up forgetting what you were doing and never leave. Then you have to type out the weird letters and finally when you do get deactivated it tells you: Don't worry. You can always come back. Just type in your same user name and password. Wow.
Then it was FREEEEEING! Wahoo! I don't ever have to worry if I am missing some new status update, because I can just know that I am! I don't have to think about what my next status update is going to be...because I'm not going to update it. I can email and call someone if I want to connect. And I do. I talk on the phone and I meet with friends.
Then I find I am lonely.
No one is emailing me....(they are all on FB)....I only check my email during Brielle's nap time and nothing except emails that are Reply to All's. That's okay. I write emails to people. I write this blog. I upload pictures on here. I learn a few new things. I hope I'm connecting with others. But then I remember reason I closed FB (and why I'm only checking email once a day and slowly lowering my daily Internet and phone-talking time) is so that I can focus on what is in front of me, the life that God has given to me. And so that I can hear Him.
Monday night Tyler and I rode our bikes to his basketball evaluation at the local community center. About 8pm we were flying back, in the dark, under the stars, cool air in our lungs .... and it was a m a z i n g.
I've also been praying more for the people in my life and listening to more music. Cleaning & baking as usual. And soon I will begin the list of projects I've got in mind. I have already started a couple and will just listen to how God tells me this is the way it is to be. I like being aware. Of others. Of myself. Especially of Him, and I want more. That's what is on my heart right now.

Disclaimer: Shortly after posting this a dear friend who has been recently on my heart did reply to an email I sent her with a thought-provoking one. (I like that she challenges me.) And yesterday I did have an in-depth and at-length conversation with someone who's current situations have been greatly on my heart (she's doing amazing and giving God all of the glory). I have to believe that these (even once a day) are more important than spending an hour each day on reading updates and looking at pictures (see why I had to leave?) even though the people posting them are SO important to me, I am just going to have to trust that I get to connect with them despite FB.
I have to remember this, because I know there are going to be lulls...times when God intends to draw me out to Him alone. There. I am waiting in anticipation of this rhythm.

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