This seems to be what I say every evening when I realize that most of things I would have loved to do got pushed aside while I did a million other things. Good things, of course, but never all, never everything. Sometimes, never even one extra thing. Some days I am doing good just to accomplish the basic household chores and spend time all along the way with our ever-growing two-year-old. I dream of creating new things in my newly remodeled "set up just for this" basement room. I dream of writing stories. I envision myself rising before the rest of my family and spending time alone with God, exercising, then writing or taking care of our finances THEN spending morning time with my family (HA!). I picture Brielle and I painting a picture together, or creating something together, taking walks.... and sometimes, some days, these things DO happen. But many days I feel like my list of dreams goes to tomorrow's list. This is life. This is life for people who don't have a household of five and a dog. There is never enough time.
But it's okay and deep inside I do know this.
I am praying through the things that I am doing, the things I am called to do, and the things I am supposed to leave (for a season, or for forever). It would be easier if God could just open and close doors for me. That would be an "answer." But instead I am experiencing a deeper walk in my faith by navigating through trusting Him, even when there are no clear signs. And I feel like He is saying, "just enjoy NOW. This day, right this moment, all I give you."
Deep breath.
Yes, it is enough for today.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
The Snow we had!
We experienced far more snow this winter than we usually do here in Tennessee. Fortunately, my kids, like most kids probably, love playing in it. I guess I didn't get too many pictures of Josh, but he was there and enjoyed just as much of the fun, if not MOST of it! Brielle went down the hill on the sled with me a few times but it was such fresh snow that it flew in her face and she didn't like sledding after that, even when it packed and didn't happen. But, she was very thirsty and so I taught her the "art of eating snow" and she didn't really want to stop!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Potty Coaching 101
Okay, so this post is for all of you mommies and daddies out there that have (or will have) a little one who will one day use the toilet! Those who have gone through the process (or been around it) won't mind either, but for everyone else here is your warning: I use words like pee and poo to describe what goes on here. There. You've been forewarned.
The day before Brielle turned 2 she pooped in the toilet. It was a breakthrough. She had been going potty for almost 3 weeks in the toilet, and though she’d pooped once (totally by accident) she had previously spent a week of tummy torment and fear of going in the toilet (not to mention restless nights). Then, Breakthrough! And the rest is history…………
Many people have asked me HOW? How did you do it? So, before it gets too far from my memory (it’s been 3 months now and I’ve already jumbled some of the details) I thought I’d share.
First of all, I didn’t do anything. Brielle did it. She told me she wanted to (I paid attention) and I just helped her get there. I never used the words “potty training,” it was much more like “coaching” or “cheerleading.” And I never saw it coming. I didn’t plan to coach her. It happened totally by accident. I’d already introduced the potty to her and she’d sat on a few times. No pressure. Just introducing it. But when her 3 year old cousin came over for the day and used the big toilet she didn’t miss a thing. She asked to use it after he was done. I inwardly rolled my eyes (if that’s possible) and put her up there. She went...then maybe she tried it again that day? I’m not sure. I remember not really caring. It reminds me of when I was in labor with her… I didn’t really pay attention. But I do remember being surprised, so the next day (a Friday) I took the diaper off of her and let her run in a t-shirt and tights. She told me all day when she felt a drizzle that she had to go “peepee toilet.” (At the time she said, “OH! OH! OH!” while grabbing herself.) I took her every time. We rushed it like it was an emergency. This is kind of the fun part. She immediately went and we cleaned up with a “pat pat pat” then washed our hands. She was always allowed to go right back to what she was doing, or whatever toy she was playing with if she desired. I think this is important. We had to change tights because of the drizzle and part of the day we went without them. I was baffled this was happening. I was so excited that Will & the boys would be home the next day to witness this phenomenon that our 23 month old was displaying!
But then Saturday came and she didn’t behave the same way. I asked a few times, but she’d made it clear she wasn’t interested. Maybe because 3 of her favorite other family members were home, who knows? This is when an idea dawned on me! If she isn’t going to tell me, she is certainly going to be in her cloth diapers only. This would help her to “feel” when she wet and familiarize herself with the feeling of going. So that is what I did, and Sunday went the same way as Saturday. Whatever.
Monday morning came and I decided to try it again. I put her back in tights only. Sure enough, she told me, “oh! oh! oh!” Back to it. Every day that she was interested (most week days that we were home) she was in tights or nothing and we followed the same routine about going. Consistency is crucial, honestly. And it helped that we hung out together most of the time during these days. The first two weeks she pooped in her diaper (minus that one accident in the toilet - lol) But when we had completed week two she wasn‘t going anywhere……..which was traumatic for the entire family, honestly. At several moments I just told her, “it’s okay sweetie! Just go in your diaper! It’s fine…” But she wouldn’t. I put her potty in the kitchen. This may feel unsanitary to some of you, but I assure you that moms everywhere who read this have already gotten over it. It wasn’t near where we cook or eat. I was doing something at the counter while she rushed in and I helped her sit down, then went back to the counter. This was not normal, usually she went potty right away…so I helped her wipe and get down right after; there was never a need to “sit” on the toilet. But this time I tried it because of her tummy trauma. I continued to pretend to be busy at the counter while she worked things out on the toilet and I watched her out of the corner of my eye. It took a while, but when she was done, I admit that I could hardly contain my excitement!!!! We had a PARTY of sorts! Praise Jesus!
We still use pull-ups when we go out for the most part. They just make me feel safer if we can’t make it to the toilet fast enough. I doubt I’d ever put a toddler in pull-ups who didn’t tell me that they needed to go potty. I rarely ask Brielle unless I see her hold herself, then I ask as a reminder, but 90% of the time she tells me she has to go. It is time consuming how often she goes! But it’s far better than changing diapers!
Another thing we did was watch Elmo’s Potty Time a few times during those three weeks (she still likes it occasionally).
I jotted down a few tips right after we were done and I will paste them below. By some standards Brielle still isn’t completely potty trained. She can’t pull down or up her pants and she definitely cannot properly wipe herself! But to me she qualifies. She tells me she has to go, and consistently pees and poos in the toilet. Good enough. No. That’s BETTER than I expected at this stage in the game.
Here are my tips:
1) do not care if the child uses it or not (don’t REALLY care anyway)
2) don’t get frustrated if there are messes to clean during this process
3) don’t waste money on expensive pull ups
4) praise/ do not scold; accidents do happen
5) don’t put a lot of thought into the whole process. relax and child will relax too.
6) Never try to train a child who is not interested. It won’t work; it may have a reverse effect!
7) Remember, that you are just the “helper” in this process. You “help” by providing a little toilet (or seat on big toilet). You “help” by taking them to the toilet. You “help” wipe and sing the potty song! You are the loving guide, the patient instructor, the humble servant, and the cheerleader.
If you do it any other way, you will get frustrated and your child might relapse. It’s possible. If you have other great tips, please add a comment!
Many people have asked me HOW? How did you do it? So, before it gets too far from my memory (it’s been 3 months now and I’ve already jumbled some of the details) I thought I’d share.
First of all, I didn’t do anything. Brielle did it. She told me she wanted to (I paid attention) and I just helped her get there. I never used the words “potty training,” it was much more like “coaching” or “cheerleading.” And I never saw it coming. I didn’t plan to coach her. It happened totally by accident. I’d already introduced the potty to her and she’d sat on a few times. No pressure. Just introducing it. But when her 3 year old cousin came over for the day and used the big toilet she didn’t miss a thing. She asked to use it after he was done. I inwardly rolled my eyes (if that’s possible) and put her up there. She went...then maybe she tried it again that day? I’m not sure. I remember not really caring. It reminds me of when I was in labor with her… I didn’t really pay attention. But I do remember being surprised, so the next day (a Friday) I took the diaper off of her and let her run in a t-shirt and tights. She told me all day when she felt a drizzle that she had to go “peepee toilet.” (At the time she said, “OH! OH! OH!” while grabbing herself.) I took her every time. We rushed it like it was an emergency. This is kind of the fun part. She immediately went and we cleaned up with a “pat pat pat” then washed our hands. She was always allowed to go right back to what she was doing, or whatever toy she was playing with if she desired. I think this is important. We had to change tights because of the drizzle and part of the day we went without them. I was baffled this was happening. I was so excited that Will & the boys would be home the next day to witness this phenomenon that our 23 month old was displaying!
But then Saturday came and she didn’t behave the same way. I asked a few times, but she’d made it clear she wasn’t interested. Maybe because 3 of her favorite other family members were home, who knows? This is when an idea dawned on me! If she isn’t going to tell me, she is certainly going to be in her cloth diapers only. This would help her to “feel” when she wet and familiarize herself with the feeling of going. So that is what I did, and Sunday went the same way as Saturday. Whatever.
Monday morning came and I decided to try it again. I put her back in tights only. Sure enough, she told me, “oh! oh! oh!” Back to it. Every day that she was interested (most week days that we were home) she was in tights or nothing and we followed the same routine about going. Consistency is crucial, honestly. And it helped that we hung out together most of the time during these days. The first two weeks she pooped in her diaper (minus that one accident in the toilet - lol) But when we had completed week two she wasn‘t going anywhere……..which was traumatic for the entire family, honestly. At several moments I just told her, “it’s okay sweetie! Just go in your diaper! It’s fine…” But she wouldn’t. I put her potty in the kitchen. This may feel unsanitary to some of you, but I assure you that moms everywhere who read this have already gotten over it. It wasn’t near where we cook or eat. I was doing something at the counter while she rushed in and I helped her sit down, then went back to the counter. This was not normal, usually she went potty right away…so I helped her wipe and get down right after; there was never a need to “sit” on the toilet. But this time I tried it because of her tummy trauma. I continued to pretend to be busy at the counter while she worked things out on the toilet and I watched her out of the corner of my eye. It took a while, but when she was done, I admit that I could hardly contain my excitement!!!! We had a PARTY of sorts! Praise Jesus!
We still use pull-ups when we go out for the most part. They just make me feel safer if we can’t make it to the toilet fast enough. I doubt I’d ever put a toddler in pull-ups who didn’t tell me that they needed to go potty. I rarely ask Brielle unless I see her hold herself, then I ask as a reminder, but 90% of the time she tells me she has to go. It is time consuming how often she goes! But it’s far better than changing diapers!
Another thing we did was watch Elmo’s Potty Time a few times during those three weeks (she still likes it occasionally).
I jotted down a few tips right after we were done and I will paste them below. By some standards Brielle still isn’t completely potty trained. She can’t pull down or up her pants and she definitely cannot properly wipe herself! But to me she qualifies. She tells me she has to go, and consistently pees and poos in the toilet. Good enough. No. That’s BETTER than I expected at this stage in the game.
Here are my tips:
1) do not care if the child uses it or not (don’t REALLY care anyway)
2) don’t get frustrated if there are messes to clean during this process
3) don’t waste money on expensive pull ups
4) praise/ do not scold; accidents do happen
5) don’t put a lot of thought into the whole process. relax and child will relax too.
6) Never try to train a child who is not interested. It won’t work; it may have a reverse effect!
7) Remember, that you are just the “helper” in this process. You “help” by providing a little toilet (or seat on big toilet). You “help” by taking them to the toilet. You “help” wipe and sing the potty song! You are the loving guide, the patient instructor, the humble servant, and the cheerleader.
If you do it any other way, you will get frustrated and your child might relapse. It’s possible. If you have other great tips, please add a comment!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Blue Moment
Within the past five days four out of the five in our family have been ill. I got it fourth and I was very ill yesterday morning...then still recovering by the evening. Thankfully, the day was actually peaceful and relaxing but I still didn't feel good, just better. A friend came over to take the kids out to dinner and after they left I just sat on my front porch, relaxing.
The evening was quiet in the neighborhood. I could hear traffic a few blocks West and South of me on the busier roads. In front of me I saw the lights of a city bus go by three blocks away. This can only be seen in the winter time. Not a sound was heard on my street. It was 5:30 and still quite warm out but everyone seemed already tucked into their homes, making dinner and helping with homework. Which is what I would normally be doing too, but my day was a little different because of the circumstances, for which I felt grateful at that moment. I began to think how I really love this city I live in, my neighborhood, and my front porch. I just sat there and soaked it in and thanked God. Time moved slow, for which I was grateful. Then I realized everything was blue. A Blue Moment. And I thought, "this is what it's all about." Peace really is more than just the absence of conflict. It's the melodic joy that sings through the heart. It's beyond my understanding. And for me, it is the most beautiful shade of blue...
The evening was quiet in the neighborhood. I could hear traffic a few blocks West and South of me on the busier roads. In front of me I saw the lights of a city bus go by three blocks away. This can only be seen in the winter time. Not a sound was heard on my street. It was 5:30 and still quite warm out but everyone seemed already tucked into their homes, making dinner and helping with homework. Which is what I would normally be doing too, but my day was a little different because of the circumstances, for which I felt grateful at that moment. I began to think how I really love this city I live in, my neighborhood, and my front porch. I just sat there and soaked it in and thanked God. Time moved slow, for which I was grateful. Then I realized everything was blue. A Blue Moment. And I thought, "this is what it's all about." Peace really is more than just the absence of conflict. It's the melodic joy that sings through the heart. It's beyond my understanding. And for me, it is the most beautiful shade of blue...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A few updates
I haven't updated my blog in a few weeks, so I thought I would throw some interesting things in here (interesting to my life anyway!) about what we've been doing lately.
1. Handed out my last two homeless roadside kits yesterday. Two men were standing in the same area by PetSmart holding a sign. One walked away because apparently the police had been giving them a hard time for doing this (that's what one of the guys said anyway).
2. I reconnected with a dear friend this week and it was sweet.
3. Our house church family met at my house last Sunday and it was really good! I'm excited about what God is doing and what He has in store for the future!
4. I get to spend my weekdays with the most AMAZING girl in the world! (She is laying her head on my lap as I type this.) While we still have tons of "toddler mini-traumas" and I do get frustrated at times, I am most often reminded that I am extremely blessed to be able to share my days with this incredible person! She makes me laugh and wonder and be in the moment.
5. My computer may crash at any time. It has been experiencing symptoms like: black out screen, locking up, not coming back on, and moving incredibly slow. Therefore, I am making efforts to get my information off and on to storage. I haven't uploaded any pics/videos, which is HARD for me. I haven't even broken into my new camera because I feel that I need to take care of the computer issues before anything else. Highly time consuming.
6. MOPS @ FBC and Mom2Mom @ HPC are both going well. At times I do feel like I am very busy volunteering and that I'm not paying attention to the RELATIONSHIPS and OPPORTUNITIES that God puts along my path. That stings, and I need to pray more about what the future could mean. I just LOVE everything I'm involved in.
7. Both of the boys are doing good in school. One has straight A's. One has shown great effort and improvement. They are both playing Upward basketball and games start Saturday.
8. Shadee is doing great, she must be completely recovered because she is acting normal. She really needs to go to the dog salon and get a bath though, because the ones I give her just don't work long term.
9. Psalm 122. Peace is more than just the absence of conflict.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Pictures!!!
Who knew that a little flour and water could entertain her for SO long? Btw, she was still getting accustomed to the toilet this day, so that is the reason for the attire.
Two of her favorite friends at Big Lots. Never noticed they were there before this.
Wait a second, who is calling?
Passed out in the morning! Potty training is hard work:
Talking to Grandma on the bluetooth.
She decided to be nice and "take Shadee her food to her on her bed...."
Rounded the corner at Dollar Tree, following her and this is what I found:
She gets a little bored while I'm shopping, so she has to create her own fun:
My little tree-hugger!
Almost, but not yet. 
Two of her favorite friends at Big Lots. Never noticed they were there before this.Wait a second, who is calling?
Passed out in the morning! Potty training is hard work:
Talking to Grandma on the bluetooth.
She decided to be nice and "take Shadee her food to her on her bed...."
Rounded the corner at Dollar Tree, following her and this is what I found:
She gets a little bored while I'm shopping, so she has to create her own fun:
My little tree-hugger!
Almost, but not yet. 
Monday, December 21, 2009
No 20th day
Not only have I not had time to load pictures on to my computer (and boy do I have some cute ones!) I haven't had time to work on the 23 Days of Christmas. I feel strongly that God is whispering to me, "it's okay." :) We just moved FIVE rooms in our house around. Talk about a chore! I don't liken it to actually moving to a new location, but it goes almost halfway. The only thing that got remodeled was the basement. It still looks in mint condition (no one has had time to hang out down there). The rest of us got bedrooms "as is." So, yep, that means that Will & I moved into the blue room (formerly the boys' playroom) with the glow-in-the-dark galaxy as our border and with deluxe matching curtains (thanks Mom!)! Brielle got the "preschool Tyler's" construction theme room, but I'm honestly thinking about leaving it up until she is old enough to decide on her own fav colors & theme.
If moving all these rooms (and closets) around doesn't seem hectic enough - especially the weekend before Christmas- our two youngest children became ill with a ferocious stomach bug within hours of each other. While that put a hold on the move, it was really sad and hard to watch them go through that kind of retching illness :( The downside was that we missed our favorite Christmas party of the year. The flip side is that it was over and done with before Christmas, bless their hearts!
Now, even though we've only passed out 10 of our 23 Days, it has not been without great encouragement in return. One of our neighbors actually came by this morning to "return" the favor by filling up our mason jar with chocolates! She was so surprised that we had done something like that and wanted to return the favor. When we had brought them their pumpkin bread in a jar I had actually thought, "they think we are crazy." LOL If so, the crazy rubbed off! Our computer desk, crib, children's 1/2 desk?, computer, and chair littered our front porch. I explained about the move. I asked her if she knew of anyone who needed a crib. It was a long shot, but she happened to have a DIL that was due in 3 months who did not yet have a crib! Way to go God! They come to pick it up tomorrow. Pretty cool stuff.
I doubt I will bake again until after the new year - unless my bedroom miraculously unpacks itself - but I think it's okay that if we end up handing out goods then, that is fine. I won't give up, but I'm not going to work myself into a frenzy either.
By the way, did I mention our new bedroom comes with a cool garage-sale lava lamp that some oblivious kid left behind? It makes the room seem more retro, and I kind of dig it dude.
If moving all these rooms (and closets) around doesn't seem hectic enough - especially the weekend before Christmas- our two youngest children became ill with a ferocious stomach bug within hours of each other. While that put a hold on the move, it was really sad and hard to watch them go through that kind of retching illness :( The downside was that we missed our favorite Christmas party of the year. The flip side is that it was over and done with before Christmas, bless their hearts!
Now, even though we've only passed out 10 of our 23 Days, it has not been without great encouragement in return. One of our neighbors actually came by this morning to "return" the favor by filling up our mason jar with chocolates! She was so surprised that we had done something like that and wanted to return the favor. When we had brought them their pumpkin bread in a jar I had actually thought, "they think we are crazy." LOL If so, the crazy rubbed off! Our computer desk, crib, children's 1/2 desk?, computer, and chair littered our front porch. I explained about the move. I asked her if she knew of anyone who needed a crib. It was a long shot, but she happened to have a DIL that was due in 3 months who did not yet have a crib! Way to go God! They come to pick it up tomorrow. Pretty cool stuff.
I doubt I will bake again until after the new year - unless my bedroom miraculously unpacks itself - but I think it's okay that if we end up handing out goods then, that is fine. I won't give up, but I'm not going to work myself into a frenzy either.
By the way, did I mention our new bedroom comes with a cool garage-sale lava lamp that some oblivious kid left behind? It makes the room seem more retro, and I kind of dig it dude.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Giving Grace
A short but meaningful story: Last week I was in the checkout line at Kroger. I know I take longer than some because the cashier has to scan all of my coupons. But there were no problems this time, and all coupons were on target. As I was taking my receipt and leaving, I felt a cart grab the back of my heal. The older lady behind me had ran into me while I was walking out of the checkout. She immediately apologized and she sounded remorseful. I assured her it was okay and attempted to smile at her. It hurt! I even tried not to limp on my way out. It hit me then and there. Now, what if that had been on my kids? They would have at least gotten "the look!"
Why did I extend that kind of grace to a perfect stranger? and why don't I extend it to those closest to me? All I could think was, if I could do that for her, I should do that for my children as well.
Why did I extend that kind of grace to a perfect stranger? and why don't I extend it to those closest to me? All I could think was, if I could do that for her, I should do that for my children as well.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
the 13th day of 23
I'm just going to confess. This baking 23 homemade goodies for my neighbors in an effort to bless and get to know them is challenging! 1) because it's hard to find time to bake, and 2) because they aren't home when we go to take them something. However, despite these challenges, it is still going quite well. We are meeting our neighbors that we didn't know and giving a happy holiday greeting to the ones we do. I insist that all three children come with me every time we go. I want the neighbors to meet my whole family (I can't get Will to do this of course :). This is hard when we have been busy. I backed individual tins of pumpkin bread for the neighbors that I know have 2 or less people in their household. They set on my counter for two days before I had time to take them to them. I admit that I was ready just to do a "drive by" and throw them on their doorstep in haste. That would deplete the whole point though. :) So....we all went on the third day. Two days later we took out three more German Potato coffee cakes to the larger households and Josh commented, "I like this. It's like our daily evening walk out together." He was wearing a Santa hat and each of us carried pie plate of the cake, myself also holding Brielle. It was one of the warmer evenings and as I thought about the about the three gifts that we carried while we walked down our street, I likened it to the three wise men with their three gifts. This is what Christmas is all about to me.
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