Happy Birthday Josh!!!

15 years ago on this day Joshua Aaron Jimenez was born into this world. He arrived a full week past his "due date" and after 2 days of labor (the first day was barely recognizable). Around 3am on February 24th, 1996, I woke Will up and my mom was there too, and we all went to Blanchfield Army Community Hospital on Ft. Campbell, KY and there we waited for a "labor" room. We got one around 9am? and while I lay there on my back in labor all day ( what did I know then?) I cried and threw up and waited for something to happen to relieve the agony I was in. I pleaded for a c-section. Will vowed we'd never do this again. Then, around 6pm they wheeled me into the "delivery room" and at 6:13pm Joshua was born. And he was beautiful.

Turned out that Joshua was an easy baby and laid back and relaxed. He continues to be that way even now. He is laid back, easy going, and all-around a great guy (except don't ask his brother).

Seeing him grow (in height - he is is now 5'11") and into the man he is becoming is nothing less than a miracle before our eyes.

Raising a first child is so incredibly challenging, who knows what is right or what will help or hurt? Do we go with our instinct? Do we push or let go? Do we guide and instruct or let the processes occur naturally? We know it is a little of everything, but we don't trust ourselves.

So today I am praying:
God, take this child, this boy, this man that you have given us and grow Your Spirit within him. Help us to enjoy every moment of his wonderful character and show us when to guide him through the tough times of life's opposition. Help us to prepare him for what You have in store for him. May he always feel safe and secure in You and may he feel comfortable coming to us for any help he might need in navigating through his life. Help us to point him to You. Surround him with people who are of good character, full of integrity and wisdom, and who love You too. May he always continue to have a heart for those who are outcast or opressed, and may he act on it, instead of acting against it. Give him guidance for life God, so that he does not have to worry about what the future holds for him. Teach him discipline and contentment and virtue.
Thank you God for the past fifteen years with Josh.
Thank you just for Josh.
And thank You for every day of our future with Josh as we go together into many upcoming seasons that are unknown to us. Thank You for going before us and coming with us.

We finally did what I said we'd do: Riding the City Bus

For weeks now we have been "in action" a one-car family. We still own the Mustang; however, we aren't driving it in efforts to save money and miles on it. I always tell myself (and Will) that if we really wanted to get out and go somewhere that we could walk there or take the bus. Well, with 4 1/2 days off of school this week alone, temperatures hovering in the teens, and some restless kids who had been out to play in the snow & cold quite enough to satisfy us all, I finally just decided to do it. We didn't have to, but I couldn't see a great reason why not to. I likened it to bike riding with the boys when they were younger. I rode with them, taught them the rules of the road, and offered instructions that I hoped they would continue to "hear" when they would be riding to school or to the store. Those bike rides, I know now, were very important. They both went on to ride their bikes back and forth to middle school (a mile away and across a somewhat busy road) and to stores that are within that mile to 2 1/2 mile radius of our home. They still do. Not without incident, of course, but hopefully much more cautiously than without ever receiving some sort of guidance.
Same with the bus. There may be a day they need to take it to get from here to there. I can ride it with them now so they can experience how the system works.
It took a little more planning than just hopping in the car and going. But as I was preparing, I was getting excited! And nervous! Adventure! I hadn't felt like this in quite awhile. I felt so silly. People ride buses every single day and not because they want to necessarily! Well, want to or not, it was actually the only way for us to get to the library yesterday afternoon.
The bus came on time and I deposited the $3.75 for us to ride (found out later that I should have just paid $4.50 that would include the transfer at the Transit Station) into the automated money machine. We all sat and off we went. Brielle loved it. She was entertained the entire time. The boys showed no emotion, they just sat there looking cool and composed, as if they rode the bus all of the time.
I allowed Brielle to turn around on her knees and look out the window. I think the bus made her a little nervous because after going a little way she explained, "I just tooted." I asked her to not say that so loud, please. She said quieter, "I just tooted again." Ahhhh..... At least no one was sitting that close to us. When she wanted to change seats I told her not until we get on the next bus, knowing that what I allowed on that first trip would set the standard for trips to come.
It took 20 minutes to get downtown to the bus depot. It felt more like 10. We changed buses at the depot (where I had to pay my extra .75 cents and get my transfer tickets - oops) and it was very simple. Then, we rode around for 20 minutes before we went to the Library, which was extremely exciting for me because I saw new places in Clarksville that I've never seen before! How could that be? We've lived here for 15+ years and I never knew about this super huge cemetery somewhere downtown. It was a more interesting trip for me that the first bus. Oh! I did see two different residences (one house and one apartment) that were in two totally different areas (one on each bus) and decided that the women in them should definitely meet. I say this because they both harbored an extreme excessive collection of planter pots. Not a joke, they had at least 50 planter pots in each of their yards!! I've never seen anything like it and definitely not in one day!
The Library was good. Saw one of our close friends in there, found some books, let Brielle play, and waited for Will to get off of work to come pick us up. He got there after we'd been in the library for a couple of hours. It worked out well.
Not only am I glad we did it, but I look forward to riding the bus again. It's at least good to know that it's there if we need to go somewhere beyond our 2 1/2 mile radius on foot or small wheel.

Josh's First Military Ball

JROTC: The Junior Reserve Officers' Training Corps (JROTC) is a Federal program sponsored by the United States Armed Forces in high schools across the United States. The program was originally created as part of the National Defense Act of 1916 and later expanded under the 1964 ROTC Vitalization Act. (from Wikipedia)

Josh and Albrey went as friends and had a great time

Albrey, Josh, Dakota, & Kaitlyn

Getting cold and Keeping warm

I took this pictures yesterday afternoon from the comfort of my warm and cozy home:

The day before--Tuesday 2/8/11:

snowy streets

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extreme snow playing:

to "Beat the Freeze" we headed to our local community center for some basketball and ping pong play:

Last week when we got the truck for the day:

There was a serious Melt Down:

Fun Times with our friend Natalie over to play:

On a less cold day:

Making Music together:

Overflowing or Trickling or Dry

For about 6 weeks now I've been in the strangest place in my mind/heart/soul. I have never really been here before, so it is foreign. Not exciting, but unknown in the expecting kind of way, nevertheless. I've realized that most of my adult life (I say "most") I've had an overflowing of extra "stuff" to give. There have certainly been seasons where this was not apparent, but that is why I said "most." Now, by "stuff" I mean kindness, friendship, food, material goods, whatever. I've often felt compelled to listen, help, offer, and even to start something for others. I like adventure and seeing what could happen. Now, lately, I've realized that I can't try everything I want to do, but that is another story.
Back to the overflowing...
obviously I'm not there right now. That is the strangest. It feels so strange to just be going along with life, asking God, what am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing? When all I hear is, "this." I don't like the answer, but I know I'm not feeling up for much else. And considering that most of the things in my life that I have gotten into have been (or are being) scaled back for a season, I feel very uncertain, when I feel up to caring about it. But I know that while I am in this unusual place I am very more aware of life than I've been in years. It was like I was drifting into this coma of other things that were good in some ways, but were causing me to MISS so much of my life. My real life. The life I was created for. Now, I sound like some kind of book...
Take Facebook for example. I miss it a lot! Especially because I think all of the time about events I'd like to share with others and questions I'd like to ask! I think, "if I were on FB...then I could do so much more." But it was just one more thing in the midst of other things that were keeping me from my life. It's tough! I want to justify FB right after typing that.
Back to my point (again). During this season of life, I've been hugely appreciative of those people who are overflowing right now. Even if they are just trickling...it's like oil on my head (if we were in biblical times). A kind word, a note, a call, an email, even a smile. Anything. It means so much. Then, I started thinking about being "compelled." Sometimes, we can feel compelled to pray for someone, to reach out to them, to befriend them, or even just do something kind for them. I can see right now why someone would want to resist that urge toward someone in my place right now. It may not be much fun and I may not show how much I appreciate it. And...I may even decline or avoid it. This helps me when thinking about when I will one day have more to give---If I feel compelled toward someone---and I have anything to give at all--just try. If they resist, it doesn't have to be pushy or awkward. But if they come around and come out of it (even for a moment), be a friend. It really takes so little effort to let someone know you care. Sometimes, we think it's going to be this whole big ordeal of being sucked into someone else's problems, when we know we've already got too many of our own. But we are all in different places in different seasons for purposes that flow in God's natural design. And if you are in a place ever, that is slightly like what you are hearing me describe that I'm in, don't expect certain people you think should care and reach out to you to do so. Trust that God alone is all you need.
Then wait and see all of the ways (the most creative ways) that He chooses to bless us by showing His love to us. It may be through people we would never expect. Smiles from strangers, or from people we have only known a little while, or something such as sunshine, or unusual peace at very clear timing. We learn to appreciate it and soak it up, even more than usual.
Because a blooming flower looks more radiant and beautiful when your a sea of gray.
I praise God that He is the perfect Lighthouse when I'm loosing my sense of direction here.

SNOWDAYS

Brielle meet Snowguy:

The little snowguy on his head was Tyler's creation

Tyler & neighbors started the base of this snow guy, but it was ultimately our neighbor, Cedrianna, and I that put in the most time.

The next day (Friday) the snow was melting and pretty packed, but Will brought us the family vehicle back home, so we headed to our favorite sledding hill just in time. (Can't even express how appreciative we were of this little adventure!!!)

On only using one vehicle:

Last week Brielle asked if we were going anywhere. I said nope-- we are stuck at home!

She quickly replied, "but there are TWO doors here!"

I pondered that for a moment, because it seemed very worth thinking about.

What's been going on with me

I've sort of been gone, in a way, it seems. I've struggled with what to say about that, how much to say, and even if I should. Then I think about it, and there's just too much, too many thoughts going through my mind. And I'm tired. I'm tired of saying I'm tired. It seems like every time I turn around (or wake up throughout the night) someone is sick, coughing, flu, fever. That's just recently. Two weeks ago it was a stomach bug. Then there are snow days, which are fine, except they throw loops into our week that are unexpected rhythms. It's hard for me to find my ground, where I am, what I'm doing. Then, I have those hundreds of thoughts.....and I'm not sure how much sense they make when I'm running on E for lack of sleep. And this sounds like on big complaint, which is not exactly what I meant to do. But it's hard to be honest and real and pleasant all together for me right now. So, maybe I should talk about what God is doing.
I would, only I don't quite know much. The only thing I am sure of is that He is doing something and it probably involves some pruning in my life. It is possible that He is removing some things that aren't a part of His plan for me, and it is painful! Maybe I'm not so great with submitting or adjusting or both, but it is hard to see the good in somethings that seems so hard. I've realized that I've been holding on to things that were both good and bad; neverthless, change is difficult too. I've thought recently about my life being this frozen-over garden in winter, being weeded, pruned, and prepared for Spring. Thing is, not only is it extremely cold and uncomfortable, I also can't see Spring! In fact, I have a hard time even believing that it is going to come!!! I know that now is not the time to give up, and that I just have to keep seeking, seeking, seeking God in all of this, despite my humanly desire to escape. I have hope. It just seems so small sometimes...most of time, if I'm being honest.
Despite the reality that I've been (or at least felt) out of real-life/in-person connection with others, I have still felt surrounded and uplifted by family in Jesus. Maybe it is because I am no longer on Facebook, the Internet (as much) or my cell phone (as much) that even the smallest encounters or interactions with someone else can be the most blessed occasion. Anything from a smile, to a conversation, to a quick email can mean the most to me. In fact, I feel so blessed by God and the wonderful people in my life that sometimes I start to think that some things were set up just for me, to support & encourage me. I feel so not humble saying that! But the truth is, that I do say it in all humility. I don't feel I deserve all of the goodness that God brings me in my life. I know I don't. So when He does it anyway I have to think, "He must love me." I know He does, but I just see the treasures differently than before. I don't know if that is the whole point of this, or just blessings along the way of the journey. But it matters not. I can't see much of anything this cold winter season, where I feel stuck and tired and waiting, but I know I'm not alone and I do believe (by faith) that Spring will come. God, in His infinite wisdom, knows what He is doing and He alone knows the path I'm supposed to be on. He longs to give me the desires of my heart. I'm often confused about what this means in the day to day, but I know He will do great things for His glory for all of His children, and I know He wants great things for my family, for everyone that I know, and for this entire world that He created. I know I say these things are true for me (as I'm learning them) but I also know they are true for you too wherever you are at in your own spiritual garden or journey.

Psalm 42

1 As the deer longs for streams of water,
so I long for you, O God.
2 I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before him?
3 Day and night I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
“Where is this God of yours?”
4 My heart is breaking
as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
amid the sound of a great celebration!

5 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and 6 my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged,
but I will remember you—
even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,
from the land of Mount Mizar.
7 I hear the tumult of the raging seas
as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
8 But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,
and through each night I sing his songs,
praying to God who gives me life.

9 “O God my rock,” I cry,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
oppressed by my enemies?”
10 Their taunts break my bones.
They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

11 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and my God!

Picture Recaps

Loves the snow (December picture before Christmas)

Christmas morning at our house:

We made them take a picture before we opened gifts:

Visiting Arkansas, it was unseasonally warm:

Just yesterday (SNOW DAY!) Brielle came to me wearing these sandals (that our friend had just recently given her the day prior) and said, "I'm ready to go out in the snow!"