Today Brielle is 4 months old. I told her. She is still so big, and yet still so small, something I say quite often. She is holding her head up quite well, and likes to pull her feet in close. Sometimes she pulls them into her mouth, though the boys noticed today that she has a harder time getting hold of the left foot. She smiles so much. Two days ago she had her well check up and shots. I hate shots. The first set (at two months) I bawled through, these we both did better at. She slept for hours afterwards. She weighed 15lbs 7ozs. What a chunk! She has rolls on her arms and legs that the creases never see the light of day! Her skin is improving, but I still have to cover four different special areas with four different special ointments and creams. Seems as if she will have this condition for a while. She is definitely more able to calm herself now. She also gives us warnings before she cries. She coughs, grunts, rubs her feet together furiously, or fusses for a bit so that we now have a chance to get her before she is raging mad. Changing scenery still works well with our little social butterbug. She still cannot stand for clothes to go over her head, or to have her arms forced through her shirt. The boys do wonderfully well with her. Just today Josh fell asleep with her on the futon in her room. Just like that. A nap sounds good to me right now. She was wide awake at 6:00am this morning, and that was the 5th time she had gotten up during the night. I counted…somehow. I think I could nap better if the neighborhood kids weren’t outside yelling (i.e. playing) in our front yard. It sounds horrible to be quite honest. I thought the sounds of kids playing was supposed to be beautiful. I guess not when they reach middle school and constantly scream as a part of their recreational outlet.
I love nursing (now-I wouldn‘t have said that a few months ago!). No bottles, no yucky formula (she spits up), and no bottles to prepare and wash. That’s just the anti stuff. What benefits have come with breastfeeding too! I love providing her nourishment. That she knows me, that she wants me, that she can see, smell, and even sense me is wonderful. Most of the time she actually fusses around me, and maybe it’s because she is hungry. Everyone else gets smiles from her when she sees them. But, that is okay. And while nursing bonds us, she is in no way particular about who has her or who holds her yet. I hope it stays that way. I hope she feels secure, snug, and loved so much that she is comfortable around everyone. She knows who loves her. And I know that one day she will have to be aware and cautious, but let that day be a long time away.
She has begun to grab everything. Every day she reaches for more. Soon we will no longer be able to hold things for her grabbing them. It’s amazing now. Now. She grabs my hair all of the time. She pulls me close to her. I don’t mind. I smell her. She smells like the most wonderful baby smell in the world to me. I kiss her soft cheeks and smile at her. I undo her feisty grip on my hair when it begins to hurt. She shakes her body. I love her. We all do.
I rock her sometimes to calm her in my arms when she is tired. I know that they say by this age that you should put a sleepy baby down, not a sleeping baby down. But sometimes I just want to hold her a little longer. I close my eyes and find the soft rhythm. She is so precious, asleep in my arms. I hope she doesn’t outgrow the bassinet soon. I don’t want her to sleep in the other room. I know they say she is supposed to be sleeping in her own room by now, but why? I can get to her faster in the middle of the night if she is right next to me.
Her daddy is nuts over her. He will do anything for her. Tonight he was on his way to shower and I asked him if sometime he could assemble her bouncer, and he just did it right then. Mumbled complaints at me the whole time, but I know the truth: anything for his baby girl.
Both of these pictures were taken on the day this blog was written, March 28th, her 4 month old day, while in her beloved Aunt Kelly's arms.